The Cavaliers will win the 2008-2009 NBA championship, capping a truly magical season. This is not supposition. It is fact -- whether the Cavs earn a home-court advantage throughout the playoffs or not. It doesn't matter who they face in the first round of the playoffs, or the second round, or the Eastern Conference finals, or the Championship Finals. They will bring the City of Cleveland its first professional championship in a major sport in 45 years.
This outcome is inevitable. It's a lead-pipe cinch; it's the team's destiny. Not even Larry Hughes or Ricky Davis could screw it up.
Why, you ask?
Well, it's not because the Cavs have the best record in the league and the best home record in the league. It's not even because they have the best player in the league.
It's because the gods are smiling upon them.
You need to look no further than Sunday night's edition of CBS-TV's "60 Minutes" when Steve Krofft interviewed Cavalier LeBron James to realize how the gods have intervened. When Krofft asked LeBron if he was going to do anything with the basketball in his hands, all LeBron did was nonchalantly underhand a throw toward the distant basket and swish it. It didn't even brush the iron, from at least 75 feet. The shot didn't involve any CGI, and it wasn't the fourth or third or second take. That ball very obviously was guided through the hoop thanks as much to Trivia (the Roman goddess of magic) as to any human effort.
Surely, after watching the Cavaliers win 60 of their first 73 games, you have to believe that Apollo (the Greek god of light and truth) has been waving his dazzling scepter over them all season long.
It's obvious, too, that Mars (the Roman god of war) lent his trusty spear to the team last October, thus to slay whatever opponent they face -- and it has been magnificently effective.
Athena (the Greek goddess of wisdom) has given Head Coach Mike Brown the good judgment to adjust his line-ups to whatever situation arises on the court at any time.
Minerva (the Roman goddess of divine thought) plunked General Manager Danny Ferry with the wisdom and opportunity to trade for Mo Williams.
Before the season even started, it's evident that Erebus (the Greek god of darkness and shadow) planted himself firmly in the skies over Detroit, where the Pistons had been a perennial Central Division champion before they imploded this season.
Hades (the Greek god of the underworld) has almost completed his task of banishing the evil Celtics and Lakers to subordinate positions in the season-long battle for the league's best overall won-loss record.
Asclepius (the Greek the god of healing) has given new life to Delonte West, Sasha Pavlovic, Boobie Gibson and Wally Szczerbiak -- and promises to soon shower his blessings upon Ben Wallace.
Artemis (the Greek god of wild things) no doubt has spurred Anderson Varejao to new heights.
Dionysus (the Greek god of parties and festivals) has inspired the players to exhibit an unmatchable camaraderie and, as they say, "chemistry."
Hephaestus (the Greek god of fire) has supplied the Q with enough pre-game pyrotechnics to last through the NBA Finals.
Venus (the Roman goddess of love and beauty) has given us the voluptuous, effervescent, jiggilicious Cavalier Girls, or Cavalettes, or whatever they're calling themselves nowadays.
Poseidon (the Greek god of earthquakes) has fortified the Q's rims with the strength to endure a season-long onslaught of Cavalier slam-dunks.
Nike (the Greek goddess of victory) has planted winged shoes on the feet of the deserving Cavaliers.
It's also evident, long-suffering fellow Cleveland fans, that Justitia (the Roman goddess of justice), Astraea (the Greek virgin goddess of justice) and Caerus (the Roman god of luck and opportunity) have swung their pendulum the way of our beloved town, for the first time in 45 years.
Finally, Voluptas (the Roman goddess of pleasure) has given us LeBron James, Mo Williams, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Delonte West, Anderson Varejao, Ben Wallace, Joe Smith, Sasha Pavlovic, Wally Szczerbiak, Boobie Gibson, Tarence Kinsey, J.J. Hickson, Darnell Jackson and Lorenzen Wright -- all of whom will be hoisting the Larry O'Brien Trophy come June.
Thanks be to the gods.