I think I picked the right month to go on a bit of a break. The movies were better this month, but being “better” than what we saw in January and February is a bit like saying someone is taller than your average jockey…
Last week finally saw the first movie cross the $100 million mark. “Rango” has the honors, but in the five years I’ve been writing this column, this is the longest I’ve ever seen it take for the first new release of the year to accomplish this. And it’s all because of the completely mediocre offerings we’ve been given.
Now March did finally provide us with a few decent movies that will be worth watching at home on DVD, but nothing has come anywhere close to capturing the imagination of the public. Will it happen this month? Probably not. There are two movies that may end up surprising us by being very buzz worthy, but my money is on another “bleh” month…and then things will explode in May with “Thor” coming out the first weekend of the month, heralding in the Summer of the Superhero (and the Sequel…but that unfortunately describes almost every summer).
News and Rumors
~ Many of us have been following the real-life soap opera that is the negotiations between AMC and “Mad Men” creator Matt Wiener on the future of the Best Show on Television. There were all kinds of scary stories coming out regarding a standoff between the two parties. Threats of additional commercials, product placements, and cuts in the cast were flying about. In the end, it’s all good, and we will have at least two more seasons of this fantastic series (and possibly ending with Season 7). The bad news; we won’t get Season 5 started until March, 2012. Oh well, at least Season 4 came out this week on DVD and Blu Ray.
~ Speaking of TV, we have two new cable series coming out that I am very interested in watching. HBO is coming out with “Game of Thrones”, a fantasy/medieval melodrama staring Sean Bean (Boromir from “Lord of the Rings”). The tie in is interesting, as it’s been described as somewhat of a “LoTR with more violence and sex”. And speaking of violence and sex, they will both be in abundance with Showtime’s “The Borgias”, with Jeremy Irons as the Machiavellian head of a Renaissance era crime family…with their version of The Godfather actually becoming The Pope.
~ There is talk of a “reboot” for the weird Terry Gilliam film “Time Bandits”. (OK, saying “weird” and “Terry Gilliam” in the same sentence is totally redundant). But they are talking about making more than one film, and toning down the darkness, making it more of a “kids’ action franchise”. Color me as “not pleased”.
~ Lot’s of new casting news for the Christopher Nolan produced reboot of “Superman: Man of Steel”, staring Henry Cavill. Diane Lane as Martha Kent, Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent, and Amy Adams as Lois Lane. I’ve got to say; I’m excited about the possibilities. Of course, I said that a few years ago when it was announced that Kevin Spacey was to play Lex Luthor…and we all saw how that worked out.
~ Speaking of Superman, it looks like they are finally going forward with the Justice League movie which will include Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, Flash, and perhaps Aquaman and a few others from the comic books. However, it is being said that the Superman and Batman characters will be totally separate from the individual movies about them. Does this mean the dreaded “Alternate Universe”?
April new movie releases
Movies That I’m Anticipating
Source Code
April 1
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga
Plot : An experimental government program sends a soldier back in time, where he wakes up in the body of a commuter who witnesses a train bombing. Presented with just 8 minutes to figure out who is responsible, his mission is further complicated by his feelings for a fellow passenger
The BeerBuzz: As of today, this is the second highest rated movie for the year on Rotten Tomatoes, only behind “Rango”. There have been some interesting Sci-Fi type films released over the past several weeks in “The Adjustment Bureau” and “Limitless”, but this one appears to have the advantage of very good character development and an adrenaline packed script in addition to the sci-fi components.
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Hanna
April 8
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Cate Blanchett, Eric Bana
Plot : A 16-year-old who was raised by her father is dispatched on a mission across Europe, tracked by a ruthless intelligence agent and her operatives.
The BeerBuzz: So what would have happened if Mathilda had been able to complete her training from León in “The Professional”? That has been my thoughts about this movie since it was first announced. I find it interesting that they changed the age of Hanna from 14 to 16…I guess to avoid controversy, but this is sure to have some anyway. The cast alone is enough to watch this tense thriller.
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Your Highness
April 8
Starring: Danny McBride, Natalie Portman, James Franco
Plot : A fantasy comedy about an arrogant, lazy prince who must complete a quest in order to save his father’s kingdom.
The BeerBuzz: I’m not really sure why I’m putting this movie in this category. I’m not a big fan of Danny McBride, James Franco is overrated, I didn’t like “Pineapple Express” at all, and as much as I love me some Natalie, she’s been a bit overexposed lately. Despite all of that…this movie looks like it will be a lot of fun, and overexposed or not; I love the concept of Natalie kicking some ass.
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Movies That Might Be OK
Insidious
April 1
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins
Plot : A family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further
The BeerBuzz: Looks like a bit of a cross between “The Omen” and “The Exorcist”, with a lot more gore. Not really my thing…but it is getting pretty decent reviews so if you are a fan of horror flicks, this would be a good one to go to.
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Arthur
April 8
Starring: Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Garner
Plot : A drunken playboy stands to lose his inheritance when he falls for a woman his family doesn’t like
The BeerBuzz: Why this movie might be OK? Helen Mirren. It was a genius bit of casting to have Mirren take on the iconic role of Arthur’s servant, the role that won Jon Gielgud and Oscar. Why this movie may suck? Russell Brand. Now I’ll never come out and say that Dudley Moore was a good actor (he wasn’t), but Arthur was his perfect role and his perfect performance. I just don’t think Brand has the talent to come close to comparing…but I may be wrong.
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Soul Surfer
April 8
Starring: AnnaSophia Robb, Dennis Quaid, Helen Hunt
Plot : Based on the true story of Bethany Hamilton, a young surfing prodigy who summons the courage to return to the ocean after losing an arm in a shark attack.
The BeerBuzz: Looks to be something that should be airing on the Hallmark Channel, or perhaps even ESPN…but the story is inspirational. It would probably be something that I’ll want to catch on DVD…assuming they don’t go too sappy on the story.
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Rio
April 15
Starring: the voices of Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Jamie Foxx
Plot : When Blu, a domesticated macaw from small-town Minnesota, meets the fiercely independent Jewel, he takes off on an adventure to Rio de Janeiro with this bird of his dreams.
The BeerBuzz: Something that the kids are going to love…much in line with “Tangled” or “Ice Age”. Don’t expect much sophistication for the adults getting drug to this.
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Fast Five
April 29
Starring: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson
Plot : A federal agent is dispatched to Rio de Janeiro, where a former cop and an ex-con are assembling a final race as a desperate chance to gain their freedom.
The BeerBuzz: Hey, two movies in the same month about Rio! This one is sure to have a lot better eye candy for the guys. Other than that…just milking out another paycheck for the same actors. Why do I get the feeling that this may be setting up The Rock (Johnson) as the future caretaker of this franchise?
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Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil
April 29
Starring: the voices of Hayden Panettiere, Glenn Close, Patrick Warburton
Plot : In their second adventure, Red Riding Hood and the Wolf investigate the disappearance of Hansel and Gretel
The BeerBuzz: The first one was amusing…so is this a continuation of the same, or just a lame attempt to make a buck? Although I have this in the “might be OK” category, I feel it will probably stink.
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Movies That Aren’t Worth Wasting Your Time
Hop
April 1
Starring: James Marsden, Kaley Cuoco, and the voice of Russell Brand
Plot : E.B., the Easter Bunny's teenage son, heads to Hollywood, determined to become a drummer in a rock 'n' roll band. In LA, he's taken in by Fred after the out-of-work slacker hits E.B. with his car.
The BeerBuzz: The Easter Bunny takes a dump, and what comes out are jelly beans. What a wonderful visual for children! This may be the same group that put together “Despicable Me”, but I somehow don’t think they’re going to see the same results here.
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Scream 4
April 15
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette
Plot: Ten years have passed, and Sidney Prescott, who has put herself back together thanks in part to the self-help book she authored, returns to Woodsboro on the last stop of her book tour. Reconnecting with her family and friends, her appearance also brings about the return of Ghostface
The BeerBuzz: They are trying for both a sequel AND a franchise reboot with this one, adding young cast members Hayden Panettiere, Emma Roberts, Brittany Robertson, Alison Brie and Kristen Bell. Nothing to see here…move along.
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Water for Elephants
April 22
Starring: Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Chistoph Waltz
Plot : Set during the Great Depression, a veterinary student abandons his studies after his parents are killed in a car accident. Taking up with a third-rate traveling circus, his bond with a difficult animal begins to turn the show around, though his feelings for the star performer prove dangerous since she's the wife of the sadistic ringmaster.
The BeerBuzz: I can feel the testosterone oozing out of my body just READING that description. Guys, there is only one reason any of you should see this, the biggest chicks-only film since “Eat, Pray, Love”…the chance to get laid afterwards by your date/girlfriend/significant other.
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Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family
April 22
Starring: Tyler Perry, Loretta Devine, Bow Wow
Plot : Madea helps her niece Shirley rally her five preoccupied children so they can hear about their mother’s health diagnosis
The BeerBuzz: I guess it’s not officially Spring unless we have Tyler Perry in drag.
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Prom
April 29
Starring: Aimee Teegarden, Nicholas Braun, Christine Elise
Plot : Follows a group of high school students as they get ready for their prom.
The BeerBuzz: A Disney film…cast by a bunch of actors I’ve never heard of before…and I doubt I’ll ever hear from again.
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New DVD/Pay-Per-View Releases
As mentioned in previous columns, these dates are when the movies are released to be purchased as DVDs, or released for DirecTV/Cable/Dish Network Pay-Per-Views. The actual release to Netflix or Blockbuster may be as much as 28 days later.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – Apr. 5 – the continuing adventures of the Pevensie children…supposedly stands up well to the other two films.
Little Fockers – Apr. 5 – Ben Stiller proves that it is possible to go to the well one time too many, as this film is even more lame than the last (and suffered at the box office relative to the others because of it).
Country Strong – Apr. 12 – Gwyneth Paltrow as a hard living country singer attempting a bit of a comeback. Female (and inferior) version of Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow: Part 1 – Apr. 15 – A Friday release…expect huge sales for this, the darkest Harry Potter yet…and a movie that I thought should have been nominated for Best Picture.
The King’s Speech – Apr. 19 - Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, and Best Screenplay were among the many awards deservedly won by this incredible movie.
Gulliver’s travels – Apr. 19. – One of these days, producers will realize that while Jack Black is very talented; he is NOT leading man material.
Calendar Watch
High profile movies coming to a screen near you in 2011.
Trailers available wherever you see a hyperlink.
Thor – May 6 – The summer blockbuster season kicks off with the Marvel comic superhero, played by Chris Hemsworth, and directed by Kenneth Branagh. Natalie Portman plays Thor’s love interest, so it has that going for it, which is nice.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides – May 20 – Captain Jack Sparrow is back. Without Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, and with Ian McShane and Penelope Cruz. I haven’t seen a more positive lopsided trade since Peyton Hillis for Brady Quinn.
The Hangover; Part II – May 27 – The boys are back…but in Thailand, not Vegas.
X-Men: First Class – June 3 – The origins of the X-Men, with Professor X and Magneto as younger men banding together. I really like the casting and the characters for this one, and have high hopes that it can get the franchise back on track.
Super 8 – June 10 – The latest big film from J.J. Abrams about an alien entity from Area 51 breaking free en route to an Ohio facility in 1979. An Ohio alien facility in 1979? Must have been in Cincinnati.
Green Lantern – June 17 – Here it is geekboys…the Holy Grail of your comic book fantasies.
Cars 2: - June 24 – It’s from Pixar, so expect greatness.
Rise of the Apes – June 24 – James Franco as the experimental scientist who creates Caesar, the first talking chimpanzee, kicking off the whole “Planet of the Apes” thing.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon – July 1 – Please don’t let this be as crappy as the last one.
Larry Crowne – July 1 – Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in a comedy about a middle-aged man going back to community college after losing his job, and falling for a local teacher.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 – July 15 – The End finally comes to this great franchise.
Captain America: The First Avenger – July 22 – Chris Evans, who played the Human Torch in the awful “Fantastic Four” movies, now becomes the famed WWII hero. Oh well…since Marvel Comics killed off the Torch a few months back, he needs a new gig.
Cowboys and Aliens – July 29 – Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig as cowboys teaming with Indians to fight aliens in the 19th Century Old West. And Craig has a mysterious high tech blaster attached to his left arm. And he has no idea how it got there! I am SO there for this one.
The Smurfs – Aug. 3 – Just shoot me now.
Conan the Barbarian – Aug. 19 – Another remake from the 80s that we’ll probably wish hadn’t been done.
Moneyball – Sept 23 – Brad Pitt as Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane. I really have no idea how this book could be turned into a movie worth watching, but we’ll see.
Real Steel – Oct. 7 – Hugh Jackman as a manager/controller of real life, 10 foot tall Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.
Footloose – Oct. 14 – Pushed back from 2010. We can only hope it gets pushed back to 3010.
The Three Musketeers – Oct. 14 – Another remake, but this one with Brits Matthew Macfadyen (“MI-5”), Ray Stevenson (“Rome”), and Luke Evans as the main three, with young Logan Lerman (“Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief”) as D’Artagnan. Also with Christoph Waltz, Milla Jovovich and Orlando Bloom.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 – Nov. 18 – Only two more of these awful movies to go.
Hugo Cabret – Dec. 9 – Martin Scorsese directs the story of a 1930s orphan living in the walls of a train station.
Mission Impossible 4 – Dec. 16 – Tom Cruise sets the stage for Jeremy Renner taking over the role of the leader of the IMF for future movies. Well played, Tom.
Sherlock Holmes 2 – Dec. 16 – Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, and director Guy Ritchie make another run at it.
The Adventures of Tintin – Dec. 23 – Steven Spielberg takes on the classic French tale, using motion capture animation.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – Dec. 23 – English version of the outstanding Swedish film with Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara.