Once, someone tried to tell
Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who
was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.....
I sure am glad that the first
thing they did on “24” this week was to let us know what happened
to ex-President Logan after he flat lined at the end of the last episode.
What?
Oh.
Nevermind.
Recap.
As Jack heads back to CTU to have
his damaged ribs looked at, Fayed and Gredenko put the final touches
on one of the drones, and manage to wind up the rubber band propelling
it enough to get it to launch. Fayed is none too happy about Markov
having spilled the beans about their location, but as Markov has since
spilled about 8 pints of blood all over his office due to getting ventilated
by M-16 fire, it’s doubtful Fayed can do much more than bitch about
it...and hit the road with the other two drones and bombs since they
could only get one ready in time. How convenient...two more bombs,
ten more hours.
If you thought I was totally unenthusiastic
about the Milo-Chloe-Morris triangle, image how many yawns were there
when we see Nadia drug into this soap opera when Milo takes her hand
in a touchy way that could only be described as “ick”. Chloe
catches that little bit of office fraternization, and responds by letting
them know that she’s aware that Milo committed a felony by logging
Nadia into her workstation by supplying his credentials, but she won’t
say anything...yet. She later responds to Milo’s continued harping
about Morris’s condition by going over and laying a big sloppy kiss
on him, “just to check his breath”. Yes, the geeks at CTU
still are at the emotional maturity level of seventh graders.
But that’s not the only romantic
intrigue going on at CTU this hour. We also have Jack meeting
back up with Marilyn, who tells him that she “always regretted that
things didn’t work out between them” as she leans in to try to play
some tonsil hockey with Jack, despite the fact that her husband’s
not-yet-room-temperature body is probably laying within 100 feet of
her. Jack dodges the Black Widow’s attempt, muttering something
about his involvement with another woman before being abducted by Those
Chinese Bastards!!!® . “Oh, you mean Audrey Raines, who went
over to China to look for you and got killed dead?”, Marilyn asks.
OOF!! How are those ribs
doing now, Jack, after that last punch to them?
Forgetting all about the minute
details of how, at that moment, there is a nuclear device in the air
that could take out most of Vegas, Phoenix, or San Francisco, Jack goes
after Chloe and then Buchanan for details about Audrey, and questions
why he wasn’t told anything. Well, Jack, it’s like this:
First, you were SUPPOSED to be first hour fish food for Fayed (alliteration
is a wonderful thing), and letting you know that your girlfriend croaked
while trying to help you just before you suffer a horrible death by
torture just might have been considered a tad cruel...but maybe
that’s just me. And secondly, everyone has been a bit BUSY over
the last ten hours trying to save the country and bail Jack’s ass
out of one sling or another.
Oh, yeah...even I forgot...Da
Plane! Da Plane! While we were enduing another episode of
“As the Stomach Turns”, VP Daniels has totally freaked out when
he learns that the drone has disappeared from radar. He tells
Lisa to get the Joint Chiefs together after he consulted his Magic Eight
Ball (and I don’t mean the one that landed Jamal Lewis in prison for
a few months), and it comes up “Nuke Something”.
It turns out that CTU is evidently
the only place in the world with tracking capabilities, and what else
can we expect from the efficiency that IS the US Government than for
them to make a place into a Single Point of Failure that has had numerous
security breakdowns over the years? Perhaps they were thinking
that after so many security breaches, that what were the odds of ANOTHER
one happening?
Something like “a lead pipe
cinch”.
Nadia is blamed, of course, which
now completely means that it’s not her...but it does give a chance
for Mike Doyle to show that not only is he a “books be damned” hard-ass
(like Jack), he is also a sadist that really, really enjoys hurting
people. Nadia insists she is innocent, and chides Doyle about
knowing “what he did in Denver”. If Doyle used to play on
the defensive line in Cleveland, we all know what he did...signed a
four year contract with the Broncos.
In Washington, Karen Hayes has
joined the Vice President’s meeting, much to the chagrin of Daniels,
“to represent President Palmer”. She quizzes Lennox on his
support of Daniels’ plans, and Tom does so much waffling that there
is now a “Lennox” breakfast served at IHOP. Karen also voices
her objections to Daniels, stating that dropping a nuclear device on
“Fayed’s country” (psst...it’s Iran) could lead to a world war.
We also learn that President Palmer is in a medically induced coma...which
begs the question; “how can you tell?”. Waking him up to make
an important decision such as “overruling a warmongering idiot of
a vice president before he kills millions” could be a life threatening
event; one that would require the consent of Sandra Palmer, meaning
we have to put up with her again at some point, I fear.
Will wonders ever cease?
It seems that Chloe was able to determine that the drone pilot was able
to access their satellites because he’s only a couple of blocks away
from CTU. Oh, yeah, and they also find out that the drone is heading
to San Francisco. So Jack slips into some major rib taping, and
Doyle leaves Nadia’s throat alone and slips into his Second Banana
suit as they head off to kill some more bad guys.
Which happened with a lot less
suspense than we normally see. Jack winces once on the approach,
and Doyle asks him if he needs someone else to lead. Jack proves
his abilities by quickly blowing away a couple of baddies, and then
the drone pilot, who was trying to light off a grenade. Jack then
takes up the controls on the drone, needing to divert it without stalling
before it gets within a thirty mile radius of the city’s center, where
it would detonate. He manages to do so, but needs to land it somewhere
quickly, and Chloe finds an abandoned Industrial Park for it to land.
Unfortunately, it’s not a smooth landing, and the drone takes on some
serious damage, causing the core of the bomb to be exposed, leaking
out radiation.
Too damn bad for those first responders
that will now be dying of radiation poisoning in the next two hours.
But great news for Daniels, as he will use their deaths as his excuse
to go ahead and launch, as he consulted his Technicality Book and determined
that the terrorists have therefore “detonated” a dirty bomb. The
sub with the nukes will be in position within an hour.
Final Thoughts.
If there is one person out there
that thinks Audrey Raines is actually dead, please arrange to play me
in some poker very soon, as that level of naiveté must be punished.
Especially when we know that Kim Raver will be appearing on the show
during the last few episodes. Then again, maybe “24” is about
to take a page from “Six Feet Under” and “Rescue Me” and Jack
will start communicating with ghosts. Now THAT could open up some
interesting avenues for next season...let’s combine “24” with
“Ghost Whisperer” and have Jack find ways to torture ghosts!
Anything involving cigar cutters would be worthless, but I bet even
ghosts could be tortured by the Barbra Steisand Music Methods.
In any case, the Audrey Revelation
was a biggie, and a surprise to me. It will be interesting to
see where this goes over the next several episodes. I wonder if
Audrey is actually back in the States or is she in the same prison system
in China that housed Jack? Does Jack give himself back up to those
Chinese Bastards!!!® again in exchange for her?
Totally blew the pick in saying
that Nadia was the mole. Moles always get away with it at the
start, and are never the first person fingered. The shake up is
listed below.
Waking Palmer up (how could they
tell?) will be the major conflict next week, as Sandra will do more
vacillating than Lennox ever thought about. This one is a little
too obvious for me. Of course he’ll wake up in time to stop
Daniels, and of course he won’t die from it, as that would just give
the power right back to Powers.
Best Scene: The Audrey
Revelation bits. Looks like Marilyn will have to find another
Bauer to go after. Oediupus/smeadipus...c’mere, Josh.
Jack Bauer Death
Count: 13. I don’t think the drone pilot Jack wounded
has any real use to CTU...but I won’t put him on the list as #14 until
we see for certain.
Who’s the Traitor?:
Big ole’ whiff last week
1. Milo. Odds of 3:1.
He was giving some really guilty looks there at the end.
2. Morris. Odds of 10:1.
Maybe that’s the reason he gave in so quickly to Fayed earlier?
3. Nadia. Odds of 25:1.
Could “24” actually break from tradition and have the Red Herring
be the actual traitor?
4. Doyle. Odds of 25:1.
So what really happened in Denver? Was it outrageous enough to
turn the Mikey De Sade into a traitor?
5. Chloe. Odds of 50:1.
Only if she was distracted in her snooping of Milo helping Nadia, and
that opened up the portal to hackers.
6. Unknown, little used
CTU flunky. Odds of 25:1. I scoffed at this last week, but
it’s more of a possibility now; someone that hacked their way or used
Nadia’s workstation when she was away from it.
Life Expectancy:
Unscientific wild assed guesses on how much longer certain people will
still be breathing and the chance they have of living through the day.
10 hours to go.
Daniel’s tenure as Commander-In-Chief
– 1 more hour. Palmer’s the only person that can stop the
US from bombing Iran...er...Fayed’s country. So you know that’s
going to happen.
Morris – 2 more hours.
Same as before, just changing the name of the person whose betrayal
leads to his death (Milo). I’m also pushing his Time of Death
time back a bit, as it looks like they’ll be too busy dealing with
the Daniels/Palmer issue next week to concentrate on this . Chance
of living through the day? 10%
Milo – 3 more hours. Last
week, it was Nadia in this space...this week it’s Milo. Stay
tuned to see who I change it to later, once I find out I’m totally
wrong again. Chance of living through the day? 33%
Phillip Bauer – 5 more hours.
Two more bombs...and now the Audrey Revelation...both might lead to
a need for Phillip’s connections, especially now that Logan is dead.
Chance of living through the day? 50%.
Tom Lennox – 7 more hours.
The more he acts like a spineless jerk, the more I’m convinced he’ll
grow one at some point and prove his bravery. Chance of living
through the day? 75%
Fayed – 8 more hours.
He ain’t no Victor Drazen, that’s for sure. Chance of living
through the day? 0%
Mike Doyle – 8 more hours.
There are some more twists coming in regards to him. Chance of
living through the day? 80%