Written by Mitch Cyrus

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It was a busy week on "24". President Logan's status was left as a cliffhanger as they didn't even address his stabbing at the end of last week's episode. We still don't know who the mole in CTU is. Ricky Schroeder became even more abrasive in his role as "Mike Doyle". And Jack found out that former love Audrey Raines is dead ... which we all know means that she is really alive. Confused? Mitch is here to make sense of it all for us.

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was..... 

I sure am glad that the first thing they did on “24” this week was to let us know what happened to ex-President Logan after he flat lined at the end of the last episode. 

What? 

Oh. 

Nevermind. 

 
Recap.  

As Jack heads back to CTU to have his damaged ribs looked at, Fayed and Gredenko put the final touches on one of the drones, and manage to wind up the rubber band propelling it enough to get it to launch.  Fayed is none too happy about Markov having spilled the beans about their location, but as Markov has since spilled about 8 pints of blood all over his office due to getting ventilated by M-16 fire, it’s doubtful Fayed can do much more than bitch about it...and hit the road with the other two drones and bombs since they could only get one ready in time.  How convenient...two more bombs, ten more hours. 

If you thought I was totally unenthusiastic about the Milo-Chloe-Morris triangle, image how many yawns were there when we see Nadia drug into this soap opera when Milo takes her hand in a touchy way that could only be described as “ick”.  Chloe catches that little bit of office fraternization, and responds by letting them know that she’s aware that Milo committed a felony by logging Nadia into her workstation by supplying his credentials, but she won’t say anything...yet.  She later responds to Milo’s continued harping about Morris’s condition by going over and laying a big sloppy kiss on him, “just to check his breath”.  Yes, the geeks at CTU still are at the emotional maturity level of seventh graders. 

But that’s not the only romantic intrigue going on at CTU this hour.  We also have Jack meeting back up with Marilyn, who tells him that she “always regretted that things didn’t work out between them” as she leans in to try to play some tonsil hockey with Jack, despite the fact that her husband’s not-yet-room-temperature body is probably laying within 100 feet of her.  Jack dodges the Black Widow’s attempt, muttering something about his involvement with another woman before being abducted by Those Chinese Bastards!!!® .  “Oh, you mean Audrey Raines, who went over to China to look for you and got killed dead?”, Marilyn asks. 

OOF!!  How are those ribs doing now, Jack, after that last punch to them? 

Forgetting all about the minute details of how, at that moment, there is a nuclear device in the air that could take out most of Vegas, Phoenix, or San Francisco, Jack goes after Chloe and then Buchanan for details about Audrey, and questions why he wasn’t told anything.  Well, Jack, it’s like this:  First, you were SUPPOSED to be first hour fish food for Fayed (alliteration is a wonderful thing), and letting you know that your girlfriend croaked while trying to help you just before you suffer a horrible death by torture just might have been considered a tad cruel...but maybe that’s just me.  And secondly, everyone has been a bit BUSY over the last ten hours trying to save the country and bail Jack’s ass out of one sling or another. 

Oh, yeah...even I forgot...Da Plane!  Da Plane!  While we were enduing another episode of “As the Stomach Turns”, VP Daniels has totally freaked out when he learns that the drone has disappeared from radar.  He tells Lisa to get the Joint Chiefs together after he consulted his Magic Eight Ball (and I don’t mean the one that landed Jamal Lewis in prison for a few months), and it comes up “Nuke Something”. 

It turns out that CTU is evidently the only place in the world with tracking capabilities, and what else can we expect from the efficiency that IS the US Government than for them to make a place into a Single Point of Failure that has had numerous security breakdowns over the years?  Perhaps they were thinking that after so many security breaches, that what were the odds of ANOTHER one happening? 

Something like “a lead pipe cinch”. 

Nadia is blamed, of course, which now completely means that it’s not her...but it does give a chance for Mike Doyle to show that not only is he a “books be damned” hard-ass (like Jack), he is also a sadist that really, really enjoys hurting people.  Nadia insists she is innocent, and chides Doyle about knowing “what he did in Denver”.  If Doyle used to play on the defensive line in Cleveland, we all know what he did...signed a four year contract with the Broncos. 

In Washington, Karen Hayes has joined the Vice President’s meeting, much to the chagrin of Daniels, “to represent President Palmer”.  She quizzes Lennox on his support of Daniels’ plans, and Tom does so much waffling that there is now a “Lennox” breakfast served at IHOP.  Karen also voices her objections to Daniels, stating that dropping a nuclear device on “Fayed’s country” (psst...it’s Iran) could lead to a world war.  We also learn that President Palmer is in a medically induced coma...which begs the question; “how can you tell?”.  Waking him up to make an important decision such as “overruling a warmongering idiot of a vice president before he kills millions” could be a life threatening event; one that would require the consent of Sandra Palmer, meaning we have to put up with her again at some point, I fear. 

Will wonders ever cease?  It seems that Chloe was able to determine that the drone pilot was able to access their satellites because he’s only a couple of blocks away from CTU.  Oh, yeah, and they also find out that the drone is heading to San Francisco.  So Jack slips into some major rib taping, and Doyle leaves Nadia’s throat alone and slips into his Second Banana suit as they head off to kill some more bad guys. 

Which happened with a lot less suspense than we normally see.  Jack winces once on the approach, and Doyle asks him if he needs someone else to lead.  Jack proves his abilities by quickly blowing away a couple of baddies, and then the drone pilot, who was trying to light off a grenade.  Jack then takes up the controls on the drone, needing to divert it without stalling before it gets within a thirty mile radius of the city’s center, where it would detonate.  He manages to do so, but needs to land it somewhere quickly, and Chloe finds an abandoned Industrial Park for it to land.  Unfortunately, it’s not a smooth landing, and the drone takes on some serious damage, causing the core of the bomb to be exposed, leaking out radiation. 

Too damn bad for those first responders that will now be dying of radiation poisoning in the next two hours.  But great news for Daniels, as he will use their deaths as his excuse to go ahead and launch, as he consulted his Technicality Book and determined that the terrorists have therefore “detonated” a dirty bomb. The sub with the nukes will be in position within an hour. 
 

Final Thoughts.   

If there is one person out there that thinks Audrey Raines is actually dead, please arrange to play me in some poker very soon, as that level of naiveté must be punished.  Especially when we know that Kim Raver will be appearing on the show during the last few episodes.  Then again, maybe “24” is about to take a page from “Six Feet Under” and “Rescue Me” and Jack will start communicating with ghosts.  Now THAT could open up some interesting avenues for next season...let’s combine “24” with “Ghost Whisperer” and have Jack find ways to torture ghosts!  Anything involving cigar cutters would be worthless, but I bet even ghosts could be tortured by the Barbra Steisand Music Methods. 

In any case, the Audrey Revelation was a biggie, and a surprise to me.  It will be interesting to see where this goes over the next several episodes.  I wonder if Audrey is actually back in the States or is she in the same prison system in China that housed Jack?  Does Jack give himself back up to those Chinese Bastards!!!® again in exchange for her? 

Totally blew the pick in saying that Nadia was the mole.  Moles always get away with it at the start, and are never the first person fingered.  The shake up is listed below. 

Waking Palmer up (how could they tell?) will be the major conflict next week, as Sandra will do more vacillating than Lennox ever thought about.  This one is a little too obvious for me.  Of course he’ll wake up in time to stop Daniels, and of course he won’t die from it, as that would just give the power right back to Powers. 
 

Best Scene: The Audrey Revelation bits.  Looks like Marilyn will have to find another Bauer to go after.  Oediupus/smeadipus...c’mere, Josh. 
 

Jack Bauer Death Count:  13.  I don’t think the drone pilot Jack wounded has any real use to CTU...but I won’t put him on the list as #14 until we see for certain. 
 

Who’s the Traitor?:  Big ole’ whiff last week 

1. Milo.  Odds of 3:1.  He was giving some really guilty looks there at the end. 

2. Morris.  Odds of 10:1.  Maybe that’s the reason he gave in so quickly to Fayed earlier? 

3. Nadia.  Odds of 25:1.  Could “24” actually break from tradition and have the Red Herring be the actual traitor?  

4. Doyle.  Odds of 25:1.  So what really happened in Denver?  Was it outrageous enough to turn the Mikey De Sade into a traitor? 

5. Chloe.  Odds of 50:1.  Only if she was distracted in her snooping of Milo helping Nadia, and that opened up the portal to hackers. 

6.  Unknown, little used CTU flunky.  Odds of 25:1.  I scoffed at this last week, but it’s more of a possibility now; someone that hacked their way or used Nadia’s workstation when she was away from it. 
 

Life Expectancy:  Unscientific wild assed guesses on how much longer certain people will still be breathing and the chance they have of living through the day.  10 hours to go. 

Daniel’s tenure as Commander-In-Chief – 1 more hour.  Palmer’s the only person that can stop the US from bombing Iran...er...Fayed’s country.  So you know that’s going to happen. 

Morris – 2 more hours.  Same as before, just changing the name of the person whose betrayal leads to his death (Milo).  I’m also pushing his Time of Death time back a bit, as it looks like they’ll be too busy dealing with the Daniels/Palmer issue next week to concentrate on this . Chance of living through the day?  10% 

Milo – 3 more hours.  Last week, it was Nadia in this space...this week it’s Milo.  Stay tuned to see who I change it to later, once I find out I’m totally wrong again.  Chance of living through the day?  33%  

Phillip Bauer – 5 more hours.  Two more bombs...and now the Audrey Revelation...both might lead to a need for Phillip’s connections, especially now that Logan is dead.  Chance of living through the day? 50%.   

Tom Lennox – 7 more hours.  The more he acts like a spineless jerk, the more I’m convinced he’ll grow one at some point and prove his bravery.  Chance of living through the day? 75% 

Fayed – 8 more hours.  He ain’t no Victor Drazen, that’s for sure.  Chance of living through the day?  0% 

Mike Doyle – 8 more hours.  There are some more twists coming in regards to him.  Chance of living through the day?  80%  

Gredenko – 9 more hours.  Rent “Snatch” to see how he should best be dealt with.  Chance of living through the day?  0%