Written by Brian McPeek

---

There’s a pretty good chance these Twitter recaps are going to be copied and utilized extensively so that others don’t have to watch Cleveland Cavaliers games. In fact, I can see this epidemic going viral in pretty much every city but 6-8 or so where actual NBA teams play.

It’s gotten that huge.

One day, like Jonas Salk, I’ll be hailed as the man who vaccinated the blogosphere of the need to actually watch sporting events.

By popular demand (or because you read my crap before I went this route) it’s the Cavs Twitter-cast for the game in Chicago against the Bulls.

First Quarter

Peeker643 Brian McPeek

That shit happens when no one likes you KingJames Living by yourself is for the birds!

Hey!! That’s not a Cavs Tweet. How’d that offensive response to LBJ’s ‘living alone’ tweet get in the Cavs recap. What an insensitive prick writing that.

 

hioktane Tom Oktavec

We should nickname JJ Hickson the "Scarecrow". Flails around, has no brains, & gets the straw knocked out of him by opposing bigs.

Ahh yes. There’s the #Cavs stuff.

 

Ringman18 Gene Ringler

I just got excited when I saw the cavs on tv. Then I realized that they're playing the bulls and the #cavs are the worse team in the nba

They are not the ‘worse’ team in the NBA Ringman18. They are the ‘worst’ team in the NBA. Dummy.

 

EdouardWeevil Edouard Weevil

I should probably find something better to do on my Saturday nights instead of tweeting during #Cavs games.

You’re single aren’t you Edouard? Yeah…you’re single.

 

nerrad127 Darren Doxey

Cleveland #Cavs are terrible

Nerrad is not a guy you want to try and have a conversation with at the company Christmas party. But he is clear, concise and will get by perfectly fine if Twitter reduces each tweet to 30 characters.

 

dmansworldpd Dennis Manoloff

#cavs have four points with 5:43 left in first quarter. Four.

That’s the kind of hard hitting, fact-based reporting you can expect from Cleveland’s biggest daily paper. To the point of the tweet, it must mean Ramon Sessions is getting a lot of open looks.

 

Anthowatson Anthony Watson

The #Cavs are so bad they should get 2 lottery picks.

Oooh.  A guy like Jim Paxson could turn that into Dajuan Wagner and Chris Mihm but in the same year.

 

Bulls 22 Cavs 17 after one quarter of play.

 

Second Quarter

DaRealJubilee Phylicia 2 Yu

everybody on the #cavs is ugly but boobie

That’s because there’s no such thing as an ugly boobie.

 

Isley23 Ryan

After watching the CSU women shoot 25% and turn it over 22 times in a 16 point loss, no way I can see uglier  basketball with the #Cavs

Mmmm…..yeah…you’d think but….well…why take that chance. And hey, way to have a wild and crazy weekend dude.

 

EFelkey86 Eric Felkey

#Cavs have gone almost 6 mins without a FG and a 2-pt deficit has turned into 17. So basically, it's like any other game.

Whoever had the “2^nd” as quarter game would get away from Cavs wins again.

 

AriWassermanBG Ari Wasserman

Is there anyone left?? Plain Dealer- Ramon Sessions, right abdominal strain, is done for the night for the #Cavs.

There are guys left. But Sessions was a real key to the current streak the Cavs are on. Not sure what they’ll do without him.

 

SlotSlut_23 Kristy Crenshaw

Wow! RT ABJCavsInsider: Here we go again: #Cavs guard Ramon Sessions has a right abdominal strain and won't return.

She added nothing but I thought the Twitter name was post-worthy. No idea what it means but I enjoy the thought of her mom and dad (or younger siblings) sending a follow request to their little princess SlotSlut_23.

 

48-38 Bulls at the half. I should introduce SlotSlut_23 to EdouardWeevil. Give two desperate and lonely people a chance at love.

 

Meh. Screw them both.

 

Third Quarter

amauritadeu Amauri Tadeu

E pra minha surpresa os #Cavs estão perdendo o 2ºquarto ¬¬ #NBA

It’s worth signing up for a Twitter account to see what this douche bag looks like. I kid you not. He looks like the Michael Cera alter-ego from 'Youth in Revolt'.

 

rickwfny rick grayshock

If everyone was suddenly healthy, who would even be in the 8 man rotation? #Cavs

The answer is five shitty players Rick. And don’t you boys get squirrely over there and try and run off with my twitterific Cavs recaps idea ;-)

 

rafacastros Rafael Castro

e ja estamos perdendo mais uma #CAVS 38 x 48 #BULLS

These Euros have to be running numbers and tickets. No one from outside a radius of The Q extending to W25th St and east to MLK is interested in this shit but these guys are barking halftime scores? Stick it to the man fellas. Buena suerte amigos.

 

CLE_Optimist Erin

Did you see the fat bald guy mocking us with the O-H? #cavs

Apparently Shaq is in attendance.

 

cbusdawg15 cbusdawg

#Cavs have to have set the record for number of injuries in a single season....

Wrong! Germans. The season was winter and it was 1944 in Ardennes, Belgium. Way more and serious injuries than this year's Cavs. Suck it.

 

joeyjoe joey morona

watching #cavs game on WGN. I'm pretty sure these announcers have no idea who any of these cavs players are.

To be fair, neither do most Cavs fans nor Cavs owner Dan Gilbert.

 

PDcavsinsider Mary Schmitt Boyer

#Cavs use a 17-4 run to get within 67060…..

Ladies and gentlemen, the nimble fingers and mental stylings of Mary Schmitt Boyer of the city’s biggest newspaper. Mary, it only seems like they’re down by 67,000 points.

 

72-62 Bulls after three.

 

Fourth Quarter

MikeSGallagher Michael Gallagher

Manny Harris running the point for #Cavs with Boobie on the bench. I think #Villanova could beat them with Sessions hurt.

There are people who actually think Sessions is the only thing separating the Cavs and Villanova. The Cavs would have a better chance if they made Villanova play with Sessions running their show.

 

kurt_nz Kurt Christensen

#Cavs digging deep in Chicago. Only down by 6, 10.22 to play.

Dammit. When you said, “digging deep” I got my hopes up that they were getting set to bury Ryan Hollins alive.

 

MAP_PHENOMENAL Marcus A. Penn

Cavs cut it to 4.. lets see what we do with this momentum. #CAVS

Sigh….Here comes the buildup to the inevitable letdown. Must be a young fella.

 

BlackVinyLImage Black VinyL Image

Wow! #Cavs cut it to a 2 pt deficit!

Just like last year when were so excited to trail mediocre and flawed teams by just a basket.

 

EdouardWeevil Edouard Weevil

I can't believe the #Cavs got within 2 points, and then decided to give up. Down 8 now in a game they had a chance to lead.

And there we go. Actually Edouard, I can’t believe you can’t believe it. A quick look at the roster, the standings and, oh, the last 26 games or so shoulda had you a bit more dialed in. No SlotSlut_23 intro for you. You don’t deserve her.

 

rickwfny rick grayshock

When the game is on the line the #Bulls go with a Rose/Boozed pick and roll. What would the #Cavs do in the same position?

Oh!! Oh!! I know this….Oh…umm…they’d lose.  Wait…wait…hold on…no….yeah…. I’ll stick with ‘lose’ as my final answer. Seriously, you guys over there don’t appear to be all that sharp.

 

RealMYoung23 Michael A. Young

#Cavs went from down 2 to down 13 in less than 2 minutes.

 

Yeah? I don’t see how anyone could have seen that coming.

Bulls 92 and the Cavs 79.

Back at you Monday night for #17? Sweet.