Written by Brian McPeek

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I think tonight’s game against the New Jersey Nets could be a magical Twe-cap™ Cavs fans. You know what a Twe-cap™ is: it’s where I write a recap of a Cavalier game but save myself the retina-frying experience that accompanies actually watching them. Anyway, it’s not often you find a team against whom the Cavaliers look…well... not as bad as usual, but the Nets might be it. Yes, they have 50% more wins than the Cavaliers do but they’re still 12-32.

I’m telling you, I haven’t been this excited about not watching a Cavs game in a long, long time.

 

First Quarter

RealMYoung23 Michael A. Young

#Cavs are off to a rare good start. They are outworking the Nets so far.

Nets owner Ivan Drago ain’t gonna take kindly to his boys getting outworked. It cost him the Balboa fight in Moscow while he was busy taking the Barry Bonds route.

LANGNUGGINS Mike Langley

three cavs just went on the ground going after the ball in the first quater. That might be a season high

Any word on how many got hurt on that play and are out for the year?

 

Ronboy21 Ronny Faddoul

#Cavs assistant coach Jamahl Mosley is a #Packers fan... But, #Cavs head coach Byron Scott is a #Steelers fan... Haha.

Oh my God….wait…give me a second to catch my breath after laughing so hard.  That is the craziest and funniest thing I’ve heard in my life. What are the chances of something that wild and extraordinary being the case?

 

Rajon9RondoNews Rondo #9

Lmao!! Ther is about 100 ppl in NJ at the #Nets vs #Cavs game Smh!! And some of them have on #Cavs jerseys what a shame

I thought the game was in Cleveland. Who knew? My God it would have been embarrassing to have picked tonight to take the kids down to The Q. Unless they were hoping to avoid seeing a loss. Then tonight might have a been a good to take them down there. Tickets and parking would have been cheaper too. Shit. I missed an opportunity to not see a loss and get away with dropping less than $500.

 

rickwfny rick grayshock

I know everyone has already tweeted it, but wow is that arena empty

And heeeere we go. The prophetic and insightful stylings of the WFNY guys. Yeah, 30 people commented on the attendance. Yet you had to put your stamp of approval on it and tweet it anyway. We have a leader in the clubhouse for Douchebag of the Night.

 

RealMYoung23 Michael A. Young

#Cavs up 29-26 after one quarter. Now they have to avoid that 4-5 minute scoring drought in the 2nd quarter.

I don’t know. The four or five minute Cavakiers scoring dought doesn’t bother nearly as much as the six or seven minute Cavalier scoring drought.

It’s 29-26 Cavaliers after one quarter of play. I told you folks. Magical night on tap.

Second Quarter

TJBogo Tom Bogomolny

#Cavs are winning

People are paralyzed with the shock. They can’t express anything more than the very most basic of facts. Thankfully for you I am verbose regardless of the situation and can easily fill a couple pages with almost nothing.

YouKnowI_Will92 William Craft

#Cavs up 10

 

See? You guys thought I cherry-picked a post just so I could play off it with a long-winded diatribe about how I could power on past the paralysis of surprise. I didn’t. People are literally stunned and incapable of typing past their tears of joy.

 

The_Abrahammer Abrahammer

#Cavs going for 17 straight in NJ in front of #Nets employees, family members & friends.

 

There’s always one. Or in this case two. Hey, Rickwfny, I’d like to introduce you to The Abrahammer. You two should go get a glass of Merlot and see who’s funnier.

 

ballchat Ball Chat

Hickson is the worst ive ever seen at putbacks\tip-ins. #NBA #Cavs

 

You know who was worse? Billy Barty, Herve Villechaize and Verne Troyer. Those guys were horrible.

 

KP3theNUPE1911 KP3theNUPE1911

Tuned into my #Cavs

Funny how many people will claim a winning team. Even if said team has a short-lived second quarter lead against another shitty team. This band-wagoning phenomena can be seen on a mass scale at Wal-Mart’s and Waffle Houses for the next two weeks. Just look for the obese people in need of deodorant and some Scope dressed in their Steelers gear. If you really want to have fun, ask them to name two defensive linemen to prove their fandom and offer them breakfast if they can. Your money is safe.

 

RealMYoung23 Michael A. Young

JJ Hickson has missed 4 layups already. #Cavs

 

Given the proximity to halftime this would appear just about statistically correct if you figure he’s headed toward his game average of eight.

 

drubarbz Judy

Cavs lead 54-48.Someone know the last time this happened?Still afraid to cheer for anything for fear of anything going wrong.

 

That is Cleveland born and raised right there. I’d bet Rickwfny’s life on it. Wonder where all my Euro bookies and numbers runners are tonight. Very little espanol on the twitter #Cavs feed.

 

Cadavalier Robert Attenweiler

Today, it's #Cavs turn to break 50 for the half. Suck it, Universe!

Yeah!!! That’s what I’m talking about Dog!! I hear you!!! Right there witcha!!!  /Shhh……. Who wants to bet that Robert isn’t around at the end of the night when the Cavs are down 12 with 27 seconds to play?

Halftime- Cavs 54  Nets 48

Wolfensteins Chris Glenn

The Cavaliers have a shot to snap the 16 game losing streak tonight. Sadly, they will start another tomorrow vs the Celtics.

Another utterly Cleveland point of view. I promise you that one day, when one of these teams wins a championship and the city celebrates, within ten minutes of pandemonium breaking out and strangers hugging, some asshole who’s not happy unless he’s miserable will be tweeting that there’s no way they can repeat next season.

Mark it down.

chris_markel chris markel

I want to go out but im sooooo tired. Go #cavs!

This isn’t Facebook you tool. Tell your friends and the hundreds you haunt over there how tired you are and all about your precious kids or Pomeranians or whatever you have.

 

ABJCavsInsider Jason Lloyd

ejmaroun Sorry, that's the type of night it has been. #Cavs are winning and 8 year old boys are wearing pimp hats. News at 11.

S'mo fo butter layin' to the bone. Jackin' me up. Tightly.

 

RealMYoung23 Michael A. Young

Nets are running a pick-n-roll with Brook Lopez then a back pick to the opposite box. #Cavs dont know how to defend the play.

Oh no. Here it comes. This is always the harbinger of an onslaught of negative tweets. Michael seems to know his shit too. Get ready for “Cavs blowing a lead/smh” hits.

 

AKimberellaTale Shannon Kimberly

I don't get it, you get paid for the ball to make it in the basket... What are you doing???

You don’t work where I work Shannon. Tons of people there getting paid good money to not do their jobs too. I don’t think it’s a Cavs or NBA-specific issue.

 

smooth1318 M Rosario

Can the #Cavs beat the #Nets please? Did you see how many people are actually at the game? #NBA

No Smooth. No one has mentioned or noticed that tonight. You breaking the story that attendance is low?

 

chucknicklow Charles Nicklow

deardangilbert In my haste this morning, I forgot to set DVR - I think this means #Cavs will close out Nets and end losing streak!

You record that crap? Yuck. I’d rather watch lung replacement surgery on PBS. Less gore.

At the end of the third quarter the Cavs lead the Nets 77-73. I’m still confident they could lose this game by a double digit margin.

 

PDcavsinsider Mary Schmitt Boyer

#Cavs still lead Nets, 77-73, after 3 quarters...can they hold on?

Oh. My. God. This is just like Game 7 in ’97. I can’t contain myself.

 

Boobelladonna boomboo3

They better or ime givingRT PDcavsinsider #Cavs still lead Nets, 77-73, after 3 quarters...can they hold on?

It’s time for the “Don’t Know, Don’t Care What the Hell They Said” tweet of the night. Because ‘Boobelladonna’s” full profile says it all:

No words, I describe me with letters best. Im pretty as can B, curvy as the letter S I keep it G, sweet as T. Look good in the passenger seat of V.

Suck it Mary Schmitt Boyer. This is how game recaps..err…Twe-caps™ were meant to be written. With a little bit of flava.

 

Jz82983 Jz

What a shit fest #Cavs #Nets

Duh. That’s why I watch you guys tweeting about watching the game. Watching the game itself would be like watching a monkey hump a doorknob.

 

deardangilbert Dear Dan Gilbert

#Nets take lead over #Cavs 86-85 with about five and a half to go in the 4Q.

Du-Dun-Dunnnnn  (That was ominous sounding music). You’d think I’d want to run to the television and make sure I see this momentous occasion. As it turns out I’m good where I am, thanks.

 

judeo15 Jude

For a point guard, Ramon sessions is allergic to passing and good decisions. #cavs

Replace ‘point guard’ with ‘quarterback’ and you also have the scouting report for Derek Anderson…and Charlie Frye…and Brady Quinn…and Tim Couch….

 

blogdiva Liza Sabater

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH CLEVELAND, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?! #CAVS #NBA

I’m assuming things have gone downhill in New Jersey? And yet I still have no inclination to actually watch.

 

rafamventura Rafael Ventura

#CAVS neles!!! Ganhando..intervalo de jogo!!

There’s my boy. I think he just said Joey Graham hit a three-pointer to tie the Nets at 101 with 7 seconds left. Or he gave the orders for a mob hit. One stop away from overtime here Cavs fans.

 

cdonahue728 Chris Donahue

#cavs plan for defense to send it to OT? Have ryan hollins look retarded while slapping brook Lopez on the back.

That didn’t work? It’s actually more defensive planning than I would have expected from Byron Scott. They lost didn’t they? Yup, they did.

 

KenCarman Ken Carman

Byron Scott's expression: "You got to be s%&^ing me #cavs

I know the intent was to convey what happened in the final 7 seconds, but Byron has been wearing that expression since July 9^th.

I’ll spare you the bloody detail but suffice it to say that when two bad teams hook up that one of them will find a way to lose. Usually the worse of the two.

Tonight was no exception. 103-101 Nets. 17 in a row.  At least we as fans can take heart that the Cavs will likely get some national publicity again.

Til whenever I can’t get out of this horrific Twe-cap™ duty again.