Written by Andrew Clayman

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On Friday night, the Cleveland Cavaliers finally got their ninth win on their 27th try, leading to a triumphant confetti celebration that wasn’t remotely embarrassing at all. Now, two nights later, with warmth and love in their hearts, they turned their attentions to a fellow team in need—in this case, of a road win. And win those Wizards did! Easily. Like, ridiculously easily. 115-100.

While not quite as monumentally pathetic as a 26-game losing streak, the Washington Wizards’ 25-game road losing streak certainly demands some respect. In fact, in the weeks leading up to this contest, many onlookers were desperately hoping for both teams’ craptacular skids to remain in tact, setting up the sort of “something’s gotta give” scenario that always makes for good drama. Actually, it probably has more to do with the bizarre enjoyment Americans seem to get out of seeing a whole lot of desperate, talentless people gathered in one room, like any show on VH1. But alas, it wasn’t to be. The Cavs beat the Clippers, so the pressure shifted to the Wiz to get over their lingering phobia of different colored basketball courts.

In a subplot devoid of intrigue, this was also Antawn Jamison’s first game against his old mates from Washington—assuming any of the players on this Wizards team actually played with Jamison last year. I don’t feel like looking that up.

One guy that I’m pretty sure was a Wizard last year, though, is USC grad Nick Young, who has suddenly emerged as the team’s top offensive threat—at least while John Wall is still getting his sea legs. Young’s gone from a 9-point scorer last season to 17 PPG this year. Adjusted for CDI (Cleveland Defense Inflation), he came in projected for a 30+ point evening, and he did not disappoint, leading a ridiculous Washington run right out of the gate with back-to-back 3-point plays. To their credit, the remarkably slow Jamison and Anthony Parker were visible on screen during several Wizard possessions in the first quarter. However, they were careful not to steal the spotlight from Young, Wall, or former Maverick and ganja advocate Josh Howard—who’d been out for a month with a sore knee. Too bad there’s not a cheap, non-habit forming drug that could have helped Josh deal with the pain of that sore knee.

Anyway, the Wiz took the crowd out of it in a hurry, leading by as much as 17 in the first quarter and going into the half with a stupid 68-46 advantage. The ineptitude of the Cleveland defense is hard to quantify. Actually, no. It’s easy to quantify. They’re giving up 106 points per game! And teams are shooting 48% against them. What I meant to say is that the Cleveland defense is hard to watch.

Washington came in averaging 96.7 points and shooting 44% from the field for the year. But with CDI in effect, they ran up 115 points and shot it at a 54% clip. Nick Young (a 44 % shooter on the year) managed to connect on 14 of 21 (67%) to finish with a game-high 31. Andray Blatche (a 42% shooter) went 8-11 (73%) for 17 points. And Kirk Hinrich (44%) came off the bench to score 17 on 8-13 (63%) shooting. The Cavs managed to hold John Wall (40%) to a mere 8-19, but he still finished with 19 points and a game-best 14 dimes. Even a rusty Josh Howard on his gimpy knee managed to drain a trio of triples and finish with 16 points.

The bright spots for the Cavs can basically be cut and pasted from most of the other games during the sadly departed streak. Despite trailing by 22 points at the half, the team came out and fought hard (on offense, anyway) in the second half, eventually cutting the lead down to 11 in the fourth quarter. Jamison led the way yet again (21 points, 7 boards), as he continues to make a legit case for himself as a worthwhile acquisition for a contender (presuming they overlook how he faired in that role a year ago). Ramon Sessions is back on the bench with Mo back in the fold, but he showed no signs of demoralization, scoring 14 and adding 6 assists. In even better news, J.J. Hickson again played like someone worthy of being prematurely placed on a website banner, putting in another solid double-double with 16 points and 13 rebounds.

On the negative end: Mo Williams was decidedly less stellar in his second game back, going 3-9 for 10 points in 27 minutes. His return to the starting line-up was also balanced out by Daniel Gibson exiting the game in the second quarter with a quad injury of some kind. Seriousness to be determined.

Oh, and the other negative takeaway from this game is that the Cavaliers came off of a hard-fought emotional win and completely laid an egg two nights later. No pride (on the defensive end, anyway), no sense of urgency (on the defensive end, anyway), no aggressiveness (on the defensive end, anyway). Did I mention they played no defense? The existence of the Cavalier defense is an urban legend. In the film Urban Legend: Final Cut (starring future House starlet Jennifer Morrison), there is a scene in which a guy is murdered and posed in a 2010-2011 Cavalier jersey with his arms raised in a standard defensive position. I’m not going to explain that reference nor do I suggest watching the film to understand it. We don’t need to pour salt on an open wound.