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Written by Paul Cousineau

Paul Cousineau
Just as any self-respecting Cleveland fan should, Paul Cousineau hates the Yankees and Yankee fans. And with the Tribe in the process of getting spanked by the Yanks in the Bronx, what better time than now to pen a column about it? Paul gets loose on the "Yankee Mystique" in his latest.

With the Yankees welcoming the Featherheads to the Bronx, it's as good a time as any to spit some vitriol regarding the Bronx Babies.

I hate the Yankees because their fans and their media view the rest of the league as their minor-league system. Ever sit with a Yankees fan when they say something like, “Sizemore's a great player and is sure to make a great Yankee one day”?

To wit, reported this nugget today via the New York Post:

Later in the season, the Indians may decide lefty ace C.C. Sabathia will be too expensive to sign to a long-term deal and look to move him. The Yankees would have to be interested.


The mighty Yankees would be interested?!?

Boy, we should start exploring this trade RIGHT NOW!

We can't miss a chance to deal C.C. to (head bowed in worshipful awe) the Yankees!

How lazy is this reporting? Did a NY beat writer look at which pitchers are doing well this season, not check to see that he's under contract until the end of 2008(!), and “report” this nonsense - only to have the mindless Yankee fans nod along - “Yeah, I guess we'd take Sabathia.”

Couldn't you replace the word “Yankees” in that sentence with just about any team in MLB? Who wouldn't want a 26-year-old ace pitching the next two years under a reasonable contract? But, do the beat writers at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer write this garbage? No, because they don't possess the insufferable arrogance of everything that surrounds the Yankee organization.

Speaking of arrogance, how badly would you like to wipe that smug little grin off of Jeter's face? My wife can hardly contain herself when Jeter comes up to the plate. Before she knew too much about Jeter, she spotted him on TV.

Wife: “Who's this hack? What's he so happy about? Look at that smile. He's so cocky. Who is that guy?”

Me (grinning ear to ear): “That's Derek Jeter. He's a great ballplayer (he is) who has done nothing but win the World Series since he got into the league.” (Note: this was about 2001.)

Wife: “I don't care who he is. I think I hate him…no, I'm sure of it…I hate him.”

OK, maybe she didn't say that last line…and maybe I just saw Tombstone again last week, but it went something like that.

But Jeter has his fans, right?

Ever been to a Tribe-Yankees series at the Jake? I've never seen so many big-boned girls in one place as I do then wearing Jeter jerseys. I think there's a rule that only girls whose weight starts with a “2” can comfortably wear the “2”.

Speaking of Yankee “fans” (term used loosely) at the Jake, a few years ago I ended up yelling at some kid in an A-Rod jersey, asking him what borough he was from, then pointing out that Wadsworth and Brunswick are not technically boroughs of NYC. He shot back that A-Rod was better than Boone. REALLY?

The infuriating thing about Yankees fans at the Jake (outside of their obnoxiousness) is their sheer ignorance of baseball and their belief that counting World Championships ends arguments.

26 pennants? So sorry, sir, I'll go sit in the corner.

If somebody tells you that they're a Yankees fan, ask them who plays 2B for them. If they can't name Cano (who's an excellent young player) and come back with something like, “Whoever it is, I'm sure he's better than the Indians' 2B”, just walk away.

It would be easy to destroy this idiotic bandwagoner with mocking that how, with a payroll of over $189M, they are forced to throw Chase Wright and Darrell Rasner in a series, regardless of injuries. With that payroll, they should be able to afford a whole second MLB rotation in Scranton-Wilkes Barre.


Your mental health will thank you.

I'm all for recognizing the history of the game and the Yankees are a very large part of that history. But, the elitist obnoxiousness and insufferable arrogance that dominates so much of the “Yankee Mystique” these days has gone from respectable to ridiculous.

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