The B-List: 5/1

Written by Steve Buffum

Any column that starts with "I hate the White Sox" is OK in my book, and that is just the start of the vitrol in today's B-List. In addition to his daily detailed recap of yesterdays game, Buff also manages to take a shot at Jim "It can't be all about greed" Thome, and applaud the beaning of the most annoying player in baseball, A.J. Pierzynski.

I hate the White Sox.

Now that it's May and the Indians still play profoundly stupid baseball, I'd like to announce the First Walt Svirsky Commemorative Haiku Contest: send me a three-line poem in 5-7-5 format (that's the number of syllables per line). The topic is "Eric Wedge." For example:

I prefer to bunt

When Sizemore leads with a hit

It wastes precious outs

Send as many as you like. The winner will receive whatever I can talk Rich into sending you (I am thinking a bumper sticker).

1) My Favorite Player is Totally Blameless!

Except for the things that were his fault, of course. In retrospect, it wouldn't have made much difference, but pitching to Konerko with runners on 2nd and 3rd and 1 out (with Pierzynski, Crede, and mACKowiACK following) seemed like false bravado. Sure, he gave up two more singles, but the home run to Konerko set a bad tone.

But the two runs in the third were truly maddening. Butchery followed by more butchery. Thank you, left side of the infield! Your flowers are in the mail. (They may be dead when they arrive. They were when I sent them.)

What can I say? No walks is good. 2 hits an inning is less good. Not exactly "sharp."

2) Inertia Man moves!

Wedge finally saw the light and moved the left fielder out of the two hole: Casey Blake rises to the occasion with 2 hits and a walk. (He can probably even bunt, which Michaels has shown he cannot ... but having a .340 hitter bunt is like jamming an pencil in your ear: yes, it fits, but it's not the optimal use of either the pencil or the ear.)

I understand the logic of having Michaels bat second: it was thought he would post around a .380 OBP, which is great for your #2 hitter. Since he posts about a .004 OBP, it was time for him to move. But the logic of letting Hollandsworth drop into the same slot just because he's the left fielder du jour totally escaped me. Yes, there's something to be said for the other players staying "comfortable" in their given lineup slots. That something would be, "Hogwash."

3) Travis Hafner may lift weights

It's a possibility.

4) Brian Slocum may have brain cells

It, too, is a possibility. Not a probability, but it is possible.

Look, I understand the desire to pick Podsednik off second. He stole thirty-two bases last night. I believe he is still running around the bases as we speak. But there are very few situations calling for throwing the ball into center field. You weren't going to catch Podsednik. You just weren't.

There is no reason to pick Jim Thome off first base. Jim Thome is not going anywhere. Jim Thome's speed is largely theoretical at this point in his career. Was he taking a large lead? Who the heck cares? Leave him alone, fer crine out loud. (On the off chance that you DO try, though, you might consider not throwing a split-finger knuckle slider, or whatever the hell that was.)

5) Ozzie Guillen's Inertia moment

Brandon McCarthy is a hotshot young reliever, and he had a six-run lead. I can dig it. But letting him face Hafner with the bases juiced when Boone Logan was up (heck, he came in to face Martinez immediately after) seems d-u-m dumb.

By the way, the White Sox wanted a second left-handed to go with Cotts, so they brought up the Guy No One Heard Of from Way Down Deep. Boone Logan (which sounds like a made-up name in a sports story for fifth-graders, like, "Trouble at the Ball Yard") has a 2.45 ERA and got 2 outs on 4 pitches last night. We have Scott Sauerbeck. Is it too late to ask for a refund?

6) Too many goddam ducks!

Eleven guys left on base! It seemed like fifty-three in the last two innings alone. I'm tired of reading about Javier Vazquez' "dominant" performance: the man gave up 6 hits and 3 walks in 6 innings for a WHIP of 1.50. No earned runs is good, and 7 Ks is nice, but that's not "dominant." Tim Hudson was dominant. Vazquez was frustrating.

But the vaunted ChiSox bullpen gave up 6 hits, 2 walks, and 5 runs (all earned) in 3 innings. Nice to see. (Of course, we see that a lot. Just not from White Sox.)

By the way, the Sox stranded 14. The game took 3:44 to play. That's some pretty bad baseball.

7) The triumphant return is less triumphant than I'd hoped

Ferd Cabrera throws some mean stuff. He really does. He dominated in Beefalo during his "rehab," and struck out two of the three hitters he faced. He also gave up a hit to Podsednik, who promptly stole second and third and scored when Sauerbeck came in and Sauerbecked. I would like a scoreless inning from this man. (I would also like him to consider holding a runner: that's not all Victor's fault, although it's not good on his part, either.)

8) Jim Thome is retarded

You don't understand why you were booed? Are you serious?

Did Johnny Damon act surprised last night?

9) Dee-fense!

Would be good. Let me know when you see some. Four errors (and Peralta's play in the third wasn't exactly superb, even if not technically an error), a passed ball, and six stolen bases. It was nice that Lee picked off Podsednik (on the "wrong" side for the lefty, no less), and Guthrie started a superior 1-2-3 bases-loaded double play, but that was not a good "concentration night" by the boys in white.

The B-List: 5/1

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