Written by Steve Buffum

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The Indians lose to ex-Tribesman C.C. Sabathia as Carlos Carrasco goes down in flames.  Asdrubal Cabrera got hurt.  Left-handed hitters faced slightly better against Sabathia than the Patriots against the Bears in the ’86 Super Bowl.  Both of Cleveland’s runs scored on outs.  Every Yankee had two or more hits except Frank Cervelli.  The capital of Nebraska is Lincoln.  Yak’s milk is pink.  It is hard to come up with 80 words to talk about last night’s game.  Buff tries and fails.

 

 

FINAL	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	R	H	E
Pestilence (51-33)	0	5	0	1	0	0	0	3	0	9	17	0
Indians (45-39)	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	2	7	0

W: Sabathia (12-4)         L: Carrasco (8-5)

 

Well, that was over quick.

 

1) Hey, we had one of those!

 

I think I’m supposed to feel more bitter, or at least emotional, when C.C. Sabathia pitches.

 

The truth is, I’ll always have a soft spot for Sabathia because he was someone I identified as a real potential star.  Through all the wasted first-round draft picks over the years, Sabathia stuck out as a high-celing player who you could actually see becoming an excellent major-leaguer.  And, by golly, he HAS been an excellent major-leaguer.  He was very good with Cleveland, and he’s now very good with New York.  He had more Cy Youngs in Cleveland; he’s had more World Series rings in New York.

 

But when all was said and done, after all the wailing and gnashing of Manny Ramirez and Jim Thome and players I honestly thought it WAS possible to keep, it was patently obvious that C.C. Sabathia would not spend his entire career in Cleveland.  He was too good at too young an age and hit the market at a time when it was clear that not only would he make a truly enormous amount of money, but would actually be as likely as anyone to actually live up to the terms of an enormous amount of money.

 

Anyway, I don’t even have mixed feelings about watching Sabathia pitch in pinstripes.  I agonized more over Rick Sutcliffe or Greg Swindell.  Sure, 2009 was awfully painful, but it was still pretty fresh: in 2011, it feels like a LONG time since Sabathia was “Our Guy.”  He certainly did pitch well last night, although it’s hard to argue that the Tribe put the optimal lineup out there to face him, what with our 1-2-3 hitters after the first ending up terribly vulnerable to left-handers, especially large ones with low arm slots.

 

What he needs, of course, is a larger uniform.

 

2) Three-run swing, part I

 

With one out in the second inning, Carlos Carrasco loaded the bases on a hit and a pair of walks.  Frank Cervelli followed with a routine grounder to short.

 

Cervelli can move pretty well for a catcher, and the ball wasn’t hit that sharply, so there was no guarantee that even a good turn would have resulted in a double play.  The fact remains that Bob Phelps’ throw to first was Peraltaesque, Cervelli was safe, a run scored, the inning extended, and Derek Jeter hit the ball to the wall to score two more.

 

3) Three-run swing, part II

 

On the other hand, let’s go ahead and give Cervelli his base and RBI.  The man has 14 RBI and each of his slash numbers is lower than Tofu Lou Marson’s.  It seems cruel to take something like that away from him.

 

Let’s say instead that Carlos Carrasco, who has pitched so well of late, could actually retire Derek Jeter, who is not a good hitter any more.  Instead of a two-run shot by Curt Granderson that followed, it’s a leadoff solo blast, and the Yankees score one run in the second and one in the third instead of five in the second.

 

4) Dept. of Pedanticism

 

Neither of these lets Carrasco off the hook for what can only be termed a Clunker Start.  Back-to-back walks to the bottom third of the order is awful.  10 hits in 4 innings is atrocious.  A 1-to-1 walk-to-strikeout ratio is putrid.  6 runs in 4 innings is lame-assed.  It was a bad start.

 

Frankly, with 4 swings-and-misses, nearly a walk an inning, and a pair of taters to the one guy in the lineup you really must avoid as a right-hander, I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that Carrasco did not have his best command last night.

 

5) Let’s hear it for the Goon Squad!

 

I’m reminded of Bill Cosby’s description of his football-playing days at Temple, specifically talking about a tilt with the dreaded Hofstra, in which he describes his role as Nth-stringer on the “Goon Squad.”  Not to call either player a Goon or suggest they don’t belong on the roster, but it’s pretty clear that the bullpen A-Team consists of Joe Smiff, Tony Sipp, Raffy Perez, Vinnie Pestano, and Chris Perez.  These guys all have ERA’s under 3.00 and pitch very effectively very often.

 

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Frank Herrmann and Josh Judy are not on the A-Team.  They are the Goon Squad.  They pitch when bulk innings are required or the outcome is not exactly “in doubt.”  Herrmann actually earned his first win of the season in such a role in Cincinnati, so this is not to say neither player has a positive contribution to make.  They just aren’t going to pitch a lot or be one of the first five choices to do so.

 

Last night, they made the most of their opportunity, tossing 3 scoreless innings between the two of them (Herrmann 2 IP, Judy 1).  Judy is likely to be waving adieu as a spot-starter is called up today, but if last night represents his swan song for a while, it was pretty well done.

 

Note: both men throw strikes.  I like this.

 

6) The Missing Piece

 

Chad Durbin was awesome in Cincinnati.

 

Char Durbin was not awesome last night.

 

I cannot in good conscience promote Durbin to the A-Team, nor banish him to the Good Squad.  He sure can stink now and then, though.

 

7) Casting Billy Barty in the role of Fezzik

 

When Asdrubal Cabrera turned his ankle, it was perfectly reasonable to put Lonnie Chisenhall into the game.  Orly Cabrera was already in the game, as was Bob Phelps, and Chisenhall probably needs the PT in a blowout more than Erstwhile Jack Hannahan.

 

Still, watching Chisenhall attempt to hit Sabathia was like having Patrick Star as a guest on “Crossfire.”  Lonnie has a LONG way to go before he can face the best left-handed pitchers in the game with a reasonable chance to get on base.

 

Note: Chisenhall struck out three times vs. Sabathia.  He got a hit against non-Sabathians.

 

8) Casting Frankie Muniz in the role of Fezzik

 

Is there a compelling reason to have Mike Brantley lead off against C.C. Sabathia?  Three strikeouts later, Brantley did drive in a run with a sac fly off Lance Pendlegoober..

 

9) Casting Ralph Nader in the role of Fezzik

 

At least Nader is tall: Grady Sizemore DID smack a double off Sabathia, but also struck out in his other two plate appearances.

 

10) Walk this way!

 

Bob Phelps drew three walks.

 

His defense remains execrable.

 

11) Ducks on the pond!

 

The Indians went 0-for-10 with runners in scoring position.  Had they gone as much as 3-for-10, they would have lost by only 4 runs.