Written by Mitch Cyrus

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With Cavs/Bulls at 3 PM tomorrow and the Buckeyes at 6 PM, Mitch isn't going anywhere near a theater this weekend. "Blades of Glory" is expected to destroy at the box office this weekend though, and Mitch previews that and the other new releases in this week's Crystal Ball. Also, in the rumors section, Mitch reports on the reunion of Leo and Kate ... as well as DiCaprio starring in another new Scorcese film that sounds freaking awesome.

Good thing it’s a week where not much is being released that would be of any interest to me...because isn’t there a basketball game or two this weekend that might be of interest? 

News & Rumors:  

~ Leo and Kate; together again.  Five years ago, the reported re-teaming of the two stars of “Titanic” might have induced a huge cringe.  Now; I am seriously stoked about the pairing of DiCaprio and Winslet, two of the best actors in Hollywood.  Especially when I learned that they’ll be working under the direction of the fantastic Sam Mendes (“American Beauty”, “Road to Perdition”...and also Kate Winslet’s husband).  The movie will be “Revolutionary Road”, and will be set in the 1950s post-war environment where a couple decides to move themselves and their two children from Connecticut to France in order to express their artistic talents.  But they find their relationship put in jeopardy as a result.  Sounds like a bit of a boring premise, but I get the feeling Mendes will make something great out of it. 

~ In other Leo News; he’ll be teaming back up with Martin Scorsese for “The Wolf of Wall Street”, playing a penny stockbroker who was involved with a massive 1990s securities fraud case that had ties to mob activity.  Marty, Leo, and the Mob.  Sounds like the right combination for a winner. 

~ In the name of all that is Holy, NOOOO!!!!  Mark Wahlberg has agreed to star in M. Night Shyamalan’s next bomb, “The Happening”.  Damn, Mark, what are you thinking?  Wasn’t “Planet of the Apes” enough for you? 

~ Ed Harris and Helen Mirren will join the cast of “National Treasure 2”.  I usually hate sequels, and Nicolas Cage usually makes crappy movies, but I liked the first one in spite of myself, and the addition of these two actors can only be seen as something good. 

~ A TV note...Showtime starts up a highly anticipated new series this week with “The Tudors”, with Johnathan Rhys Meyers (“Match Point”) as the young Henry VIII and Sam Neil as his henchman Cardinal Wolsey.  Looks to be a great series, and something besides “The Sopranos” to look forward to each week. 
 

This week’s new releases: 

Two movies coming out this weekend that will undoubtedly make tons and tons of money.  For me, I will probably try to catch the third one.

 

Blades of Glory 

Starring: Will Farrell, Jon Heder, Craig T. Nelson 

Plot: Two disgraced figure skaters get around a permanent ban by skating together in pairs competition.  

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz:  Will Farrell absolutely sucks as an actor.  If you need proof of that, rent the God-Awful attempt at “drama” called “Stranger Than Fiction”.  However...he is one funny individual, and no one other than Sacha Baron Cohen can equal him in talent when it comes to having no qualms in totally embarrassing himself in order to make people laugh.  This is going to be an absolute side-splitting movie that you will hate yourself for enjoying five minutes after you leave the theater...and then you’ll buy the DVD when it comes out later.

Meet the Robinsons

Starring: The voices of absolutely no one that is famous.

Plot:  A boy genius travels into the future to find his stolen invention and perhaps learn a secret or two about his own past.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz:  When it comes to animated flicks, I put them into two categories now.  The first is the type I have no problem ordering from Netflix and watching, despite the fact that I have no young children in my house.  “The Incredibles” and “Over the Hedge” are those types of movies.  The other type are the ones that you have no earthly reason to watch unless you’re watching it with the kids, such as “Chicken Little” or “Monster House”.  “Meet the Robinsons” definitely falls into the latter category.  The little ones will enjoy it, and you’ll find a few humorous moments between checking your wristwatch and calculating how much time is left before you can leave and go get a beer.

The Lookout 

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jeff Daniels, Matthew Goode 

Plot: A once promising high school athlete’s life is changed when he is slightly brain damaged after an accident.  Working as a janitor at a local bank, he’s targeted by a group of locals wanting to pull off a heist. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz:  The writer of “Minority Report” and “The Interpreter” is making his directorial debut in this taut crime thriller.  Very positive early buzz on this one, especially regarding the skills of the former “3^rd Rock From the Sun” star (Gordon-Levitt).  Might be everything we were hoping to see from “Alpha Dog”.

New DVD Releases on Tuesday, April 3^rd

Definitely one for the “must see” list.  If you have kids, you’ll also want to check out “Charlotte’s Web”. 

The Good Shepherd – Not quite the critical and box office success creator/director Robert De Niro hoped for, but still a well received movie about the early years of the CIA, with Matt Damon giving another exceptional performance.  Should do better on DVD, as it’s a llooonnngggg movie, and the ability to pause several times for bathroom breaks will be appreciated greatly. 

Charlotte’s Web – One of the best pictures for children to come out last year.  If you have younger children, buy this for them 

Volver – This is one of those for people who really like well made foreign language films.  Also for those who like to look at Penelope Cruz.  For me?  I’ll take Salma Hayek in an English language film, thank you. 

Black Christmas – When compared with other crappy, tasteless, exploitative wastes of time, this movie makes “The Hills Have Eyes 2” look like Casablanca in comparison. 

The Natural (Director’s Cut) – Roy Hobbs Rules!! 
 

Calendar Watch:

Next week - Grind House, Are We Done Yet, The Reaping, Firehouse Dog 

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers). 

Perfect Stranger – April 13^th – Hopefully Halle Berry is off the schneid with this thriller about a reporter investigating the death of a friend that through the internet got involved with a powerful married man (Bruce Willis) 

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie for Theaters – April 13^th – The Adult Swim cartoon featuring a floating drink, container of fries, and a meatball hits the big screen.  Why? 

Fracture – April 20^th – Anthony Hopkins back in Hannibal Lecter Full Creepy Mode as a man toying with a young D.A. (Ryan Gosling) after he is freed on a technicality for attempting to kill his wife. 

Next – April 27^th – Nic Cage in a sci-fi flick about a man with the ability to see into the future and therefore change it.  Also starring Julianne Moore and Jessica Biel. 

Spider-Man 3 – May 4^th - The webslinger versus Venom, Sandman, and Harry Osborne picking up his father’s GoblinGear. 

Lucky You – May 4^th – Long delayed film centered around the World Series of Poker with Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore.  Unlucky them...they’re opening the same weekend as Spider-Man 

Shrek the Third – May 18^th – Shrek & Donkey…together again.  This time with the jolly green Scottish ogre trying to push off the king’s crown onto a young Arthur. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: At the World’s End – May 25^th - Captain Jack goes for the hat trick. 

Ocean’s Thirteen – June 8^th – Ellen Barkin replaces Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones in this edition.  Talk about a “Brian Giles for Ricardo Rincon” level trade.  Al Pacino in a role sure to induce his characteristic overacting won’t help either.  Will someone please stick a fork in this franchise?  

Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer – June 15^th – This time the quartet go up against the Silver Surfer and the return of Dr. Doom.  Please be better than the first one! (the trailer does look awesome). 

Evan Almighty – June 22^nd – Steve Carell’s Evan Baxter from “Bruce Almighty” is now a Congressman chosen by God (Morgan Freeman) to receive His powers.  A reported budget of over $200 million on this will either make it this year’s “DaVinci Code” (big budget, big box office) or this year’s “Poseidon”. 

Live Free or Die Hard – June 29^th - John McClane strikes again (probably with his walker). 

Transformers – July 6^th – Michael Bay (hack, spit) tries to spin a former children’s cartoon into an “Independence Day” type Armageddon movie.  As much as I hate to admit it…the teaser trailer looks good. 

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – July 13^th – These movies keep getting darker and better as they go.  Voldemort (aka “relative of Art Modell”) is back and targeting Harry and his friends for some nasty payback. 

1408 – July 13^th – John Cusack as a famed debunker of paranormal activities encountering real terror in this adaptation of a Steven King tale.  Saw the trailer the other day, and it nearly scared the crap out of me. 

Hairspray – July 20^th – John Travolta in drag.  There are some things I really don’t need to see. 

The Simpsons Movie – July 27^th - ummmm…beeeerrrrrr  

The Bourne Ultimatum – August 3^rd - Superspy Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) is back and looking for his roots. 

Underdog – August 3^rd – Combination of animation and live action.  Let’s hope it’s more “George of the Jungle” than “Scooby-Doo”. 

The Invasion – August 17^th – Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig in a sci-fi flick about an alien epidemic.  

Shoot ‘em Up – September 7^th – Clive Owen and Monica Bellucci protecting a baby from sinister Paul Giamatti.  I was so there anyway, and then I found out that in one scene Owen and Bullucci are having sex while in a shoot out.  Totally Awesome! 

Eastern Promises – September 14^th – Naomi Watts as a London midwife drawn into the Russian Mob, headed by Viggo Mortensen. 

The Kingdom – September 28^th – Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, and Jennifer Garner in a story about an American team sent into the Middle East to investigate a terrorist attack on Americans in Riyadh.  

3:12 to Yuma – October 5^th – Russell Crowe and Christian Bale in a remake of a classic Western with Bale as a farmer volunteering to escort a criminal (Crowe) to Yuma by train, with a battle of wits ensuing. 

The Golden Age – October 5^th – Cate Blanchett and Clive Owen in a follow up of the award winning “Elizabeth”. 

American Gangster – November 2^nd – Denzel Washington as a heroin kingpin from the Vietnam War era (he smuggled it back in the body bags of dead soldiers) and Russell Crowe as the investigator on his trail. 

Lions for Lambs – November 9^th – Robert Redford directs himself, Tom Cruise (yeck) and Meryl Streep in this political thriller. 

Beowulf – November 16^th - Robert Zemeckis gets all medieval on us with a motion capture (like “Polar Express”) adaptation of the epic poem. 

His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass – December 7^th – Major, major push from the studios for this big budget fantasy...designed to be the first of a franchise.  Nicole Kidman and Paul Bettany star.