Written by Mitch Cyrus

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Recap: Tony is still in his coma, dreaming about life as Kevin Finnerty. Back on planet Earth, Silvio finds (and actually states) that “with great power comes great responsibility”. Too bad the Spider-Man tights choke his fat neck, because Sil ends up having an asthma and/or panic attack, and has to get wheeled off to the hospital due to the stress. I think I’ve seen a few managers in my career that handle responsibility in that manner.

Vito tips Paulie off regarding a Columbian drug money laundering site, telling him the place will be empty. Oops…guess not; leading to the first gruesome killings of the year, and Paulie getting Phil Dawson’d to the nut sac. Classic.

Back at Our Lady of Garish Fingernails, AJ is still looking for a gun to use on Uncle Mummyhead, prompting Christuhfuh to give him a noogie. And Finn is back, receiving from Vito the creepiest arm caress ever filmed.

Carmela goes ape shit on AJ, which pisses off Mom, Dad, and Meadow, after catching AJ’s outburst on film during a gossip new magazine. They may not have liked her blowup, but she gets a standing ovation from me. She also has a great session with Dr. Melfi (no, not THAT kind, dammit), where she admits to not ever being really bothered by the fact that he is a mobster. She also confesses that she’s concerned that if Tony comes out of it, she may never feel love towards him. Later, she rushes back home to her battery powered Furio.

Christuhfuh has the movie bug again, so he gently persuades fellow addict JT to help write a script that “combines Saw with Godfather II” (gently, as in having him hit over the head with an Apple laptop). The meeting of the potential investors is hilarious, as Carmine Jr, Silvio and the boys all discuss the slasher/gangster flick. Somewhere, Martin Scorsese cries.

I’ve heard of people being able to bore you to death, but Paulie makes it almost true, as Tony goes into v-fib while Paulie is yammering on and on about everything that bugs him. In Tony’s dream world, he’s banging the wall at his hotel to get him to shut up. Great visual. Tony then drives to the “Finnerty” family reunion, where Steve Buscemi!!!! stands outside an old house and welcomes him as the Guest Of Honor. He keeps telling Tony to give up his briefcase and go on in, because “everyone is there”…as we see a woman (Livia?) briefly pass by the front door. But Tony won’t give up the briefcase…and this could be homage to a rumor that Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase in Pulp Fiction contained his soul. He then hears a child’s voice calling “Daddy, don’t leave”, prompting him to wake up first seeing Meadow and Carmela over him.

When he hears about the shit that’s been going down, a lot of people may wish he did go to the light.

This may come soon as Vito first tried to find a way to back out of Sil’s order to kick 100 grand of the Columbian take to Carmela. Paulie was all for this, as he’s a cheap bastard who was actually clipping coupons despite having almost a quarter mil in his pocket. After Tony comes out of it, they realize that if they don’t kick in, they’re screwed, so they finally relent and give it to Carmela. However, she catches them giving a pissed off look as they get on the elevator as if their last baby carrot or coupon had been taken

Best Scene: Tony’s scene with Tony B. welcoming him (almost) to eternity.

Most Humorous Scene: Paulie being told to not say anything negative when seeing Tony, and then going haywire, yelling out “he looks terrible!” when he actually does see him.

Best Line: “It was fucking mayham! The doctor wants to ultrasound my groin and balls” - Paulie

Latest Whacking Odds

1) Vito – Still our leader in the clubhouse. The only question is whether he kills Finn first.

2) Finn – See above.

3) Phil – I think The Hairdo still has some mischief in him that gets him iced shortly after Vito.

4) Uncle JuniorMummyHead – AJ’s gotta gun.

5) JT – No chance Christuhfuh and the boys take his upcoming shitty script with anything other than extreme prejudice.

6) Paulie – I get the feeling that one of the main players gets offed this year. Prickly Paulie has pissed off many more people than Bobby, Chris, or Silvio.