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Misc Movies/TV Movies Archive The Crystal Ball - Feb 1 Releases
Written by Mitch Cyrus

Mitch Cyrus
Super Bowl weekend is traditionally a poor one for theater and DVD releases, and this year is no exception to that rule.  On a bright note, the two top theater releases this weekend cast Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria as the leading ladies ... so if any of you guys out there get "chick flicked" this weekend, at least there's some eye candy involved.  And while the releases are weak, Mitch's "News & Rumors" section isn't, as Mitch has all the latest on "The Hobbit", "Cloverfield 2", and the revival of the "Friday The 13th" series.

Is it Spring yet? 

I keep hearing some rumors about a football game this weekend.  I wonder if I can find any news about it on television? 

News and Rumors  

~ I guess this shouldn't have been too hard to predict. "Last King of Scotland" director Kevin Macdonald will direct "Bobby Fischer Goes to War", based upon the book by David Edmonds and John Eidinow detailing the famous World Chess Championship in 1972 between Fischer and Boris Spassky.  I'm not sure if they'll touch upon Fischer's later years as a recluse, America hater, and general gold-plated loon. 

~ This didn't take long.  Paramount studios are already in negotiations to put together "Cloverfield 2".  Rumors still abound that it will switch from the single-point-of-view aspect of the first, and cover the monster battle in Manhattan from a more traditional perspective. 

~ Katherine Heigl is turning into the Sandra Bullock of her generation.  Heigl's next romantic comedy venture will be with "300" stud Gerard Butler in "The Ugly Truth".  Heigl will play a morning show producer bantering with her chauvinistic correspondent (Butler) in a series of outrageous tests to prove his theories about relationships. 

~ Looks like the next series to benefit from the popular new trend to "reboot" (James Bond, Batman, soon-to-be Star Trek) will be our old buddy Freddy Krueger, with a revival of the Friday the 13th series. 

~ Reports are out that Guillermo del Toro will direct Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" and its sequel.  Given del Toro's brilliant job of directing the disturbing/wonderful "Pan's Labyrinth", I think this was about as good of a choice as could be made.  "The Hobbit" will be out in 2010, and the sequel will follow in 2011...shot in the same back-to-back fashion as the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. 

This week's new movie releases: 

Last week stunk with the odor of "Rambo" and "Meet the Spartans" at such level as to make a Pittsburgh Squealer fan think of home. 

No real improvements this week, other than "There Will Be Blood" being released to over 1,000 additional theaters. 
 
They Eye 

Starring: Jessica Alba, Alessandro Nivola, Parker Posey 

Plot: A young woman receives an eye transplant which allows her to see into the supernatural world 

The BeerBuzz: This movie was not made available to critics for early screening...which means 99% of the time that it's going to blow chunks.  Maybe someone can do a real transplant of Jessica's eyes, and give her some that allow her to see better scripts ("Awake", "Good Luck Chuck"). Seriously...when is "Sin City 2" coming out? (answer: 2009). 

My Estimated Rating: Jeff Garcia (1 football) 

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Over Her Dead Body 

Starring: Eva Longoria Parker, Paul Rudd, Lake Bell 

Plot:  A ghost tries to sabotage the fledgling relationship between her old flame and his new, psychic girlfriend. 

The BeerBuzz:  Jeff Lowell was the screenwriter for the romantic-screwball flops "Just Like Heaven" and "My Super Ex-Girlfriend".  So now he gets to both write AND direct this mess?  The Peter Principal is alive and well in Hollywood. 

My Estimated Rating: Tim Couch (1 ½ footballs). 

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Strange Wilderness 

Starring: Steve Zahn, Allen Coert, Justin Long 

Plot:  Two stars of a struggling animal adventure show look to give their ratings a boost by getting footage of Bigfoot. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz:  Another movie not screened for critics.  But Zahn and Long are great comedic actors, so I expect this thing to be totally stupid and lame, but still offering a good dosage of laughter that you'll feel guilty about later 

My Estimated Rating: Kelly Holcomb (2 footballs). 

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Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour 

Starring: Miley Cyrus 

Plot:  3D concert film of the phenomenon that we are all just wishing would go away.  

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz:  $15 a ticket?  And it's already sold out for the entire weekend on most of the 800+ theaters where it's showing?  Something tells me that some people named Cyrus have better business sense than others (that would be the singing ones as opposed to the sardonic writing ones).  Those of you with daughters between the ages of 6 and 12: I know where you are going to be this weekend. 

My Estimated Rating: Hayden Panettiere (3 pom-poms) 

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There Will Be Blood (expanded release) 

Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Kevin J. O'Connor, Ciaran Hinds 

Plot:  A ruthlessly ambitious man becomes a feared oil-baron in the early days of the business. 

The BeerBuzz:  Daniel Day-Lewis is about as much of a lock for Best Actor as was Forest Whitaker last year for "Last King of Scotland".  The movie itself has been well received, but many have noted that it is much more memorable for Day-Lewis' mesmerizing performance, and that Paul Thomas Anderson's adaptation of the Upton Sinclair novel "Oil!" is a bit contrived at times.  You'll get my opinion during Oscar Week. 

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, February 5th  

A couple of new releases that might be worth looking into.  Nothing for the Action/Adventure set. 

Elizabeth: The Golden Age - Major disappointment financially (and critically) from the first episode with Cate Blanchette as the iconoclastic British Monarch. However, this still looks like the type of epic period piece that I love to watch, and it goes right to the top of the Netflix Queue. 

Across the Universe - Many years ago, some doped up idiot took the soundtrack to the Beatles' classic "Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band" and turned it into the biggest screen mess ever with the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton.  Now they try the same concept again, with Jum Sturgess as Jude and Marilyn Manson squeeze Evan Rachel Wood (a coupling that's about a 10.10 on the "Ick Scale") as Lucy.  Not to be viewed sober. 

Feast of Love - This one is notable as Clevelander (and avid Cleveland sports fan) Allison Burnett was the writer of the screenplay.  The movie follows numerous characters in a community of friends in Oregon as they explored the mysteries, joys, and pains of living and of love.  

The Jane Austen Book Club - Major Chick Flick alert!  Maria Bello, Emily Blunt, Kathy Baker, Amy Brenneman, and Maggie Grace all go ga-ga over Jane Austen's books and various pieces of beefcake.  

2 Days in Paris - Julie Delpy and Adam Goldberg star as a couple on the verge of a breakup that decide to try to rekindle their relationship with a visit to Paris to see the girl's parents. 

And that concludes this week's journey down Estrogen Lane. 
 
Calendar Watch  

Next week: Fool's Gold, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show. 

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers). 

Vantage Point - February 22nd - Dennis Quaid, Forest Whitaker, and Matthew Fox in a political thriller/mystery showing five different points of view to an attempted assassination of the President. 

The Other Boleyn Girl - February 29th - Natalie Portman as Anne Boleyn, Scarlett Johansson as her sister Mary, and Eric Bana as King Henry VIII.  I expect this to blow the tepid Showtime series "The Tudors" out of the English Channel...but since it's gotten pushed back to the waste-land of February releases, I don't have a good feeling about it. 

10,000 B.C. - March 7th - Roland Emmerich, he of "The Day After Tomorrow", gets to unleash his big-budget vision of mammoth hunters in this film that is NOT a remake of "One Million Years B.C."  Bummer.  I was hoping of a really good visual update to Rachel Welch in that fur bikini. 

Horton Hears a Who - March 14th - Not content to have made Dr. Suess spin in his grave with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", Jim Carrey now takes on the voice of Horton the Elephant in this animated tale. 

Pride and Glory - March 14th - Ed Norton and Colin Farrell in a tale of a multi-generational family of NYPD officers and an investigation of corruption that could tear the family apart. 

21. - March 28th - Swerb's favorite upcoming movie, the true tale of six MIT students that are trained by one of their professors (Kevin Spacey) in the art of card counting.  They later take down Vegas casinos for millions. 

Leatherheads - April 4th - George Clooney and Renee Zellweger in an old fashioned screwball comedy set in 1925 about an aging football legend and the college hotshot he's drafted for his pro team both fighting for the heart of an intrepid up-and-coming journalist. 

Iron Man - May 2nd - The latest mega-budgeted superhero flick.  Looks very promising, and the casting of Robert Downey, Jr. as the alcoholic billionaire who designs a supersuit. 

Speed Racer - May 9th - Emile Hirch, Matthew Fox, and Christina Ricci as Speed, Racer X, and Trixie in the Wachowski Brothers' ("The Matrix" trilogy) adaptation of the campy 1960s Japanese anime. 

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - May 16th - The same four kids from the first movie return to Narnia...1300 years after their last visit in that enchanted land's time frame, to help restore the throne to the rightful heir. 

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - May 23rd - Spielberg and Ford team up one more time, with Cate Blanchett as the romantic interest, and Shia LaBeouf ("Transformers") as Indy's son. 

Sex and the City - May 30th - The movie version of the HBO series hits the big screen.  Can we guys get our share of this pie and have a movie version of "Deadwood"? 

The Incredible Hulk - June 13th - Looks to be much, much better than the Ang Lee stink-fest, with Edward Norton taking on the role of Bruce Banner. 

Get Smart - June 20th - Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, and Alan Arkin take on the roles of Maxwell Smart, Agent 99 and The Chief.  As much as I hate movie adaptations of television shows, this one has potential. 

Wall-E - June 27th - Pixar's next masterpiece, about a garbage cleaning robot who dreams of the stars. 

Wanted - June 27th - Look for this to make a star out of James McAvoy ("The Last King of Scotland") as he plays a young man brought into a secret society of assassins by a hot, hot looking Angelina Jolie.  Morgan Freeman plays their boss. 

The Dark Knight - July 19th - Batman is back, and this time he's tracking the Joker, played by Heath Ledger.  Most likely the box office champion of 2008. 

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