Written by Mitch Cyrus

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Good movie weekend here in CTown, as we get absolutely buried with snow.  We've got two intriguing theater releases in "10,000 B.C." and "The Bank Job" at the theaters.  And Oscar Best Picture winner "No Country For Old Men" comes out on DVD.  Mitch covers it all for us this Friday for us in "The Crystal Ball", and also has news on the latest with Jack Bauer and the "24" movie FOX is bringing to the airwaves this fall.

Maybe the country has finally wised up. 

"Semi-Pro" opened as the #1 movie last weekend, but it was like saying you were the tallest jockey in your class...it didn't mean much.  The film only took in $15 million, far lower than Farrell's last two attempts at playing the exact same stupid character in a sports movie; "Talladega Nights" and "Blades of Glory". 

The consensus has been: "seen one, seen them all". 

News and Rumors  

~ Some good news from Fox for all us "24" fanatics.  Since last season was cancelled by the writers strike, Fox will make a 2 hour movie (to be shown on TV) that will cover the time period between the end of season 6 and the start of season 7, which will begin in January 2009.  The Jack movie will be shown this fall. 

~ Maybe Jim Carrey's streak of crappy movies might be ending.  Jason Reitman, the director of "Juno" will be working with Carrey in "Pierre, Pierre", a comedy that will have the funnyman playing a self-indulgent French nihilist transporting a stolen painting from Paris to London. 

~ Nicolas Cage and Rose Byrne will be teaming up in a sci-fi thriller called "Knowing".  Byrne will play the daughter of a woman who buried a time capsule in 1962, which contains the dates of assassinations of historical figures, the date of a hotel fire that killed a professor's wife and an imminent world apocalypse.  The professor (Cage) discovers its contents and brings it to the daughter's attention, at which time she starts remembering strange incidents from her childhood.  Alex Proyas ("I, Robot") will direct. 

~ Let's just take care of the stupid remake news all at once here.  "Friday the 13^th", and "Nightmare on Elm Street" were previously announced as franchises to be "rebooted" in the style of 007 and Batman...and now the same people about to make those two messes (Freddy and Jason, that is) are also going to remake "Rosemary's Baby".  Why? 

This week's new movie releases: 

10,000 B.C. 

Starring: Camilla Belle, Steven Strait, Marco Khan (Who, who, and who?) 

Plot: A young mammoth hunter journeys through uncharted territory to secure the future of his tribe. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz: Roland Emmerich has really made a career out of these huge fantasy pictures, first with "Independence Day" and his last film "The Day After Tomorrow".  However, he did make the stinker "Godzilla", and it looks like this one will be more in line with that bomb than the other successes.  This one is getting killed over on Rottentomatoes.com for being all flash and no substance.  But it will still probably rake in the cash for a couple of weeks. 

My Estimated Rating: Tim Couch (1 ½ footballs) 

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The Bank Job 

Starring: Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows 

Plot:  A group of unseasoned British criminals are lured into a heist, thinking they were going to rip off the safety deposit boxes of some of London's wealthiest citizens.  Instead, they are unknowing recruits on a top-secret mission to steal photos of a Royal princess in a compromising position 

The BeerBuzz:  I really like the concept of this one, and it is getting very good early buzz.  Nice to see Jason Statham finally back to picking a good film.  This is supposedly based upon some true events, but at least as opposed to "American Gangster", they aren't trying to pass this off as biographical in any way.  With "10,000 B.C." looking like garbage, this will be my choice to watch this week. 

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College Road Trip 

Starring: Martin Lawrence, Raven-Symone 

Plot:  An overprotective cop accompanies his daughter on a cross country trip to check out potential colleges. 

The BeerBuzz:  This is getting hammered by critics worse than "10,000 B.C."  Looks like the biggest mistake is trying to turn Martin Lawrence into some kind of latter day Bill Cosby G-Rated funny dad.  And it doesn't work at all on this very special episode of "That's So Raven". 

My Estimated Rating: Mike Phipps (1/2 football). 

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Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day 

Starring: Frances McDormand, Amy Adams, Ciaran Hinds 

Plot:  A recently fired governess in 1939 London gets a new job with an American actress and singer, sending her into a dizzy new world of glitz and glamour 

The BeerBuzz:  Great casting and some very good buzz for this being the type of comedy that people over 40 would really enjoy.  Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

My Estimated Rating: Bill Nelsen (2 ½ footballs). 

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, March 11^th  
 
No Country for Old Men - This year's Oscar winner for Best Picture, this Coen brothers film can be looked at as a more intense version of "Fargo".  Excellent performances from Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, and especially Javier Bardem as the cold blooded killer in a really bad haircut. 

Dan in Real Life - A widowed newspaper advice columnist heads over to his family's place with his two young daughters, only to find that he's attracted to his brother's new girlfriend.  A different type of role for Steve Carell, one where he gets to really act, and not just do shtick.  

Hitman - Timothy Oliphant as the genetically created killing machine who is revolting against his masters.  Could be considered the sister piece to Clive Owen's "Shoot ‘Em Up"...without the laughs. 

Bee Movie - Another animated film from last year...you might have seen it promoted once or twice.  I think maybe Jerry Seinfeld has something to do with it. 

August Rush- An orphaned musical prodigy uses his gift to search for clues about his birth parents.  Kerry Russell and John Rhys Meyers star as the concert cellist and Irish guitar player who meet for too brief of a time. 

Calendar Watch  

Next week: Drillbit Taylor, Shutter, Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns 

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers). 

Horton Hears a Who - March 14^th - Not content to have made Dr. Suess spin in his grave with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", Jim Carrey now takes on the voice of Horton the Elephant in this animated tale. 

Pride and Glory - March 14^th - Ed Norton and Colin Farrell in a tale of a multi-generational family of NYPD officers and an investigation of corruption that could tear the family apart. 

21. - March 28^th - Swerb's favorite upcoming movie, the true tale of six MIT students that are trained by one of their professors (Kevin Spacey) in the art of card counting.  They later take down Vegas casinos for millions. 

Leatherheads - April 4^th - George Clooney and Renee Zellweger in an old fashioned screwball comedy set in 1925 about an aging football legend and the college hotshot he's drafted for his pro team both fighting for the heart of an intrepid up-and-coming journalist. 

Deception - April 25^th - Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor in an "Eyes Wide Shut" sort of tale about a mild mannered accountant becoming entangled in the goings-on at an underground sex club. 

Iron Man - May 2^nd - The latest mega-budgeted superhero flick.  Looks very promising, and the casting of Robert Downey, Jr. as the alcoholic billionaire who designs a supersuit. 

Speed Racer - May 9^th - Emile Hirsch, Matthew Fox, and Christina Ricci as Speed, Racer X, and Trixie in the Wachowski Brothers' ("The Matrix" trilogy) adaptation of the campy 1960s Japanese anime. 

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - May 16^th - The same four kids from the first movie return to Narnia...1300 years after their last visit in that enchanted land's time frame, to help restore the throne to the rightful heir. 

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - May 23^rd - Spielberg and Ford team up one more time, with Cate Blanchett as the romantic interest, and Shia LaBeouf ("Transformers") as Indy's son. 

Sex and the City - May 30^th - The movie version of the HBO series hits the big screen.  Can we guys get our share of this pie and have a movie version of "Deadwood"? 

The Incredible Hulk - June 13^th - Looks to be much, much better than the Ang Lee stink-fest, with Edward Norton taking on the role of Bruce Banner. 

Get Smart - June 20^th - Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, and Alan Arkin take on the roles of Maxwell Smart, Agent 99 and The Chief.  As much as I hate movie adaptations of television shows, this one has potential. 

Wall-E - June 27^th - Pixar's next masterpiece, about a garbage cleaning robot who dreams of the stars. 

Wanted - June 27^th - Look for this to make a box office star out of James McAvoy ("The Last King of Scotland", "Atonement") as he plays a young man brought into a secret society of assassins by a hot, hot looking Angelina Jolie.  Morgan Freeman plays their boss. 

The Dark Knight - July 19^th - Batman is back, and this time he's tracking the Joker, played by Heath Ledger.  Most likely the box office champion of 2008.