Written by Mitch Cyrus

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Iron Man 2, David Chase from the Sopranos new film, the latest project from Oliver Stone.  Mitch addresses all of these new endeavors that are coming down the pike in this week's Crystal Ball.  At the theaters, "Speed Racer" and "What Happens In Vegas" are the big releases this weekend, and there's also a couple intriguing films coming to DVD.  The summer blockbuster season looms.  Mitch hits on it all in The Crystal Ball.

News and Rumors  

~ With the immediate and huge success of "Iron Man", Marvel Studios have announced that "Iron Man 2" will come out in May, 2010.  Other Marvel superhero movies will be "Thor" in June, 2010; "Nick Fury" (starring Samuel L. Jackson) in 2010; "Captain America" in May, 2011; "The Avengers" (Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, and Thor) in July, 2011, and "Ant-Man"...sometime later.  Ant-Man?  I hear a shark warming up his vocal cords. 

In light of that, you'll find another NEW feature in the Crystal Ball...a "Blockbusters on the Distant Horizon" section at the end, where you get to see what you'll be spending $15 a ticket on in 2009 and beyond. 

~ David Chase, the creative genius behind "The Sopranos", has signed a deal to write, direct, and produce his first feature film.  Unfortunately, it's not about Tony and the boys, but will instead be an original drama.  We'll keep our eyes open. 

~ Will Ferrell must be looking for some type of comeback after the tanking of his awful basketball flick "Semi-Pro"...and the soon to tank comedy "Step Brothers".  So it's back to the tried and true stuff...a sequel for "Anchorman".  My personal opinion?  America has just grown tired of seeing the exact same thing from Ferrell in every single film. 

~ I finally think that Oliver Stone has lost it.  For his upcoming biofick "W", Stone is making no effort at all to avoid controversy.  In fact, he seems to be courting it.  Now for a full disclosure, I'm not exactly one of the 29% of Americans that give President Bush a "favorable" rating...but this still looks like a hatchet job waiting to happen...and a bigger stinker than "Alexander". 

~ Want to help out humanity, AND get a free pack of gum?  Stride Gum has announced that it will give out a free coupon for one pack of its gum to a million people if they sign the StopUweBoll.org petition by May 14^th.  Uwe Boll is pretty much acknowledged as the worst director in the movie business, making such stinkers "BloodRayne", "In the name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale", and "Seed".  Uwe has said that if a million people sign the petition, he would quit film industry.  We can only hope so. 

~ On a positive note, Ellen Page has signed on to star as "Jane Eyre" in an adaptation of the famous Charlotte Bronte novel about an orphan who becomes a governess and falls for her master, Mr. Rochester, but later finds that he hides a dark secret. 
 

This week's new movie releases: 

Looks like we might be seeing the first Bomb of the season, but I'll let you know for certain later this weekend. 

The good news is that "Iron Man" is still being shown everywhere.  If you haven't seen it yet; get there!  If you have seen it...then seeing it again may beat the alternatives. 

Speed Racer 

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Matthew Fox, Christina Ricci 

Plot: Racing prodigy Speed Racer is being blackmailed by the head of a nefarious corporation to participate in The Crucible, and annual cross-country race that claimed the life of his brother years ago. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz: Blow, Speed Racer, Blow!  Yep...that's the early buzz on this one; all visual cotton candy with the same level of nutrients (plot).  But I'll let you know for certain shortly.  I look at it this way; with the Wachoski Brothers, anything is possible.  Something as great as "The Matrix" or "V for Vendetta"...or something like "The Matrix Revolutions". 
 

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What Happens in Vegas 

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher 

Plot:  Two losers get stinky drunk in Vegas, have sex, get married, and then hit a slot machine for $3 million. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz:  "Starring Demi Moore's Boy-Toy".  That takes two footballs off the rating right off the bat.  And then we have his co-star, Cameron Diaz, who also knows all about boy-toys (Justin Timberlake), and almost nothing about choosing good scripts.  And then there is Dennis Miller as a  judge.  Hell, the trailer isn't even that funny, unless the sight of a man standing on a stool and relieving himself in the kitchen sink tugs at your funny bone. 

My Estimated Rating: Tim Couch (1 ½ footballs) 

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Redbelt 

Starring: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Tim Allen, Alice Braga 

Plot:  A Gulf War Vet enters the world of mixed-martial arts, and not only has to battle opponents, but corrupt promoters and sponsors. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz:  David Mamet is a great, if sometimes confusing, writer ("Glengarry Glen Ross", "The Spanish Prisoner", "Ronin", "Heist"), so I have some high hopes on this one, especially with the cast.  Having Tim Allen playing a conniving slimeball sounds like some inspired thinking, and Ejiofor is always good.  But I'm not sure how it will play so soon after the MMA movie aimed at the younger set, "Never Back Down", tanked at the box office. 

My Estimated Rating: Kelly Holcomb (2 footballs) 

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, May 13th  
 

The Great Debaters - Denzel Washington's Golden Globe nominated film about a 1935 professor who inspired his students to be the first African-American debate team to challenge for the national championship.  A well told, if formulaic, underdog story.   

Untraceable - Diane Ladd as an FBI agent tracking down a killer who gets his rocks off by webcasting his victims out to the world; with more poison being administered to them with every site visit.  Think of the revenue we could unearth here at TheClevelandFan if we found a way to do that with Art Modell? 

Mad Money - Incredibly lame comedy with Queen Latifah, Diane Keaton and Katie Holmes smuggling out money that is meant to be burnt at the Federal Reserve.  Might be worse than a Uwe Bolle movie. 
 

Calendar Watch  

Next week; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian 

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers). 
 
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - May 23^rd - Spielberg and Ford team up one more time, with Cate Blanchett as the romantic interest, and Shia LaBeouf ("Transformers") as Indy's son. 

Sex and the City - May 30^th - The movie version of the HBO series hits the big screen.  Can we guys get our share of this pie and have a movie version of "Deadwood"? 

You Don't Mess with the Zohan - June 6^th - Adam Sandler as a former Mossad agent setting up shop as a hairdresser in New York City. 

Kung Fu Panda - June 6^th - Jack Black as the voice of a reluctant panda bear recruited by a team of Kung Fu masters. 

The Incredible Hulk - June 13^th - Looks to be much, much better than the Ang Lee stink-fest, with Edward Norton taking on the role of Bruce Banner. 

The Happening - June 13^th - Latest M. Night Shyamalan thriller, staring Mark Wahlberg in a tale about a family on the run after natural disasters threaten the entire planet. 

Get Smart - June 20^th - Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, and Alan Arkin take on the roles of Maxwell Smart, Agent 99 and The Chief.  As much as I hate movie adaptations of television shows, this one has potential. 

The Love Guru - June 20^th - Mike Myers already catching as much hell from India as Sacha Baron Cohen did from Kazakhstan for making fun of cultures that don't seem to have a sense of humor. 

Wall-E - June 27^th - Pixar's next masterpiece, about a garbage cleaning robot who dreams of the stars. 

Wanted - June 27^th - Look for this to make a box office star out of James McAvoy ("The Last King of Scotland", "Atonement") as he plays a young man brought into a secret society of assassins by a hot, hot looking Angelina Jolie.  Morgan Freeman plays their boss. 

Hancock - July 4^th - Will Smith as a hard-living superhero needing the use of a public relations professional (Jason Bateman) to repair his image. 

Hellboy II: The Golden Army - July 11^th - The big red cigar chomping demon with a bad attitude is back for more butt kicking. 

The Dark Knight - July 19^th - Batman is back, and this time he's tracking the Joker, played by Heath Ledger.  Most likely the box office champion of 2008. 

Mamma Mia! - July 19^th - Something for the ladies to attend while the guys are busy watching Batman kick the Joker's ass.  A musical featuring the songs of ABBA.  And my wife wants us to go see it.  Sigh. 

X-Files 2 - July 25^th - Little is known yet about these further adventures of Scully and Fox...not even the title. 

Tropic Thunder - August 15^th - A group of actors shooting a big budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying in the film.  Stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr, playing a white actor donning black make-up to "fit the part". 

The International - August 15^th - Clive Owen and Naomi Watts in a thriller about an Interpol agent's attempts to break up an international arms dealing ring financed by a high profile bank. (What can Wachovia do for you?) 

Righteous Kill - September 12^th - Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together again as NY detectives working on a case that may be related to both a serial killer and a man they might have wrongly imprisoned years before. 

Eagle Eye - September 26^th - Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monoghan as a mother and son who become unwitting members of a terrorist cell plotting a political assassination. 

Body of Lies - October 10^th - Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio in Ridley Scott's spy tale of intrigue in the Middle East. 

RocknRolla - October 31^st - Guy Ritchie hopefully back in form for another tale of London gangsters.  Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Tom Wilkenson, and Jeremy Frackin' Piven star. 

Quantum of Solace - November 13^th - The next James Bond film, picking up shortly after the events ending "Casino Royale" 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - November 21^st - The sixth of J.K. Rowling's seven books, setting the stage for the two part conclusion in 2010 and 2011. 

Defiance - December 19^th - Daniel Craig and Live Schreiber as Jewish brothers in WWII Russian, leading a band of refuges in striking back at the Germans.  A major early Oscar contender 
 

Blockbusters on the Distant Horizon (movies that would seem to be big hits...as soon as they get made). 

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - May 1^st, 2009 - Hugh Jackman goes it alone as the adamentium laced anti-hero.  With Live Schreiber as Sabertooth, and Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. 

Star Trek - May 8^th, 2009 - J.J. Abrams and a young cast reboot the franchise, going back to Kirk and Spock's days at Starfleet Academy. 

Angels and Demons - May 15^th,  2009 - Tom Hanks and Ron Howard follow-up to "The DaVinci Code" 

Terminator 4 - May 22^nd, 2009 - Christian Bale as John Conner as the franchise moves into the apocalyptic future. 

Transformers 2 - June 26^th, 2009 - The next chapter of Robots In Disguise! 

Public Enemy - July 1^st, 2009 - Johnny Depp as John Dillinger.  Co-staring Christian Bale, and directed by Michael Mann 

The Taking of Pelham 123- August 7^th, 2009 - Denzel Washington, John Travolta, and James Gandolfini in a remake of the classic 1974 film about a hijacked subway car. 

Shutter Island - October, 2009 - Martin Scorsese working once again with Leonardo DiCaprio in this mystery set in 1954. 

Nottingham - November, 2009 - Ridley Scot and Russell Crowe together again in a retelling of the Robin Hood legend, this time through the eyes of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Crowe). 

Avatar - December 18^th, 2009 - James Cameron's sci-fi/CGI extravaganza. 

Iron Man 2 - May, 2010 - Right on the heels of the success of the first one, Marvel is quick to get Robert Downey Jr. back into his titanium suit. 

Thor - June 2010 - Another Marvel superhero...but the Nordic God is about as bland personality-wise as Superman, so we'll see how it goes. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I - 2010 - The start of the End for the boy wizard and his battle against He-Who-Shall-not-Be-Named 

The Hobbit - 2010 - Guillermo del Toro directs and Peter Jackson will produce the prequel to "Lord of the Rings".  Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf 

Fantastic Voyage - 2010 - Roland Emmerich ("The Day After Tomorrow", "10,000 B.C.") remakes the classic 1967 movie about a miniaturized sub and crew operating on a scientist from inside his brain. 

The Avengers - 2011 - Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America open up a can of whoopass on bad guys everywhere. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - 2011 - The end of the line for what will be beyond doubt the most profitable series in the history of film making. 

The Hobbit 2 - 2011 - del Toro and Jackson again, this time covering the time between the end of Tolkien's book, "The Hobbit" and the start of LOTR.