The Cleveland Fan on Facebook

The Cleveland Fan on Twitter
Misc Movies/TV Movies Archive The Crystal Ball - May 23 Releases
Written by Mitch Cyrus

Mitch Cyrus
One mammoth box office release this weekend, as "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" hit the theaters ... and we've already posted Mitch's review of it. The Mitch Man has all kinds of good scoop in this week's Crystal Ball, including news on the new "24" movie coming out, and who's been casted in it. Mitch also gives us some updates from Cannes, news on the two "The Hobbit" movies Peter Jackson is taking on, and gives us this week's releases on DVD.

I think there was some sort of movie opening yesterday. Not sure it was a big deal or anything.

News and Rumors

~ "24" News! The two hour prequel movie that will air in September will follow Jack Bauer as he battles an international crisis in Africa while a new president enters the White House. As noted earlier, Cherry Jones will play the President, Tony Todd ("Chuck") will play an African dictator, Eric Lively ("The L Word") will portray the president's son, and Gil Bellows ("Ally McBeal", "The Shawshank Redemption") will be a State Department officer.

~ I tend not to follow the news out of the Cannes Film Festival too closely...because that place is just a little too pompous for my pedestrian tastes. But this is interesting. Looks like Steven Soderbergh's ego exercise "Che" may not even be distributed. The Benicio Del Toro starring film about the revolutionary leader clocks in at a butt numbing four and a half hours, and is all in Spanish with English subtitles. To add to that, the early critics have slammed it. Think "Alexander" level bad without the benefit of full nudity from Rosario Dawson (and 90 minutes longer).

Life imitates Art. This is the exact scenario that played out last season on HBO's "Entourage" with the Spanish language ego project "Medellin" being booed roundly at Cannes. Who knew Mark Walhberg was psychic?

~ OK...so you get two reports from Cannes this week. The other is a good one, as Clint Eastwood's next directorial effort "Changeling" is getting early buzz as a major Oscar contender for next March, and star Angelina Jolie is getting rave reviews as well. The movie is a mystery

set in 1928 L.A., with Jolie's character's prayers being answered as her kidnapped son is returned. But was he really? John Malkovich co-stars.

~ More good news about the upcoming "Hobbit" movies. Earlier I mentioned that Ian McKellen is slated to return as Gandalf. Now word is coming out that Viggo Mortensen and Andy Serkis are in talks to reprise their roles as Aragorn and Gollum. Make it happen, Peter Jackson.

~ Stupid remake notes of the week: "Flash Gordon" and "Highlander". Gag. And then we can add to it another attempt to make a movie out of a video game, with Jake Gyllenhaal to star in an adaptation of "Prince of Persia".

~ Here is a switch. "Cloverfield" producer J.J. Abrams has revealed that there may not be a sequel to his camcorder shaking monster movie. Abrams states that he'd rather move on to another original project. He is now officially my hero.

~ And finally, a happy 50th birthday today to Cleveland's own Drew Carey. I will never forget the episode of his TV show where Bernie Kosar showed up at his party looking for a bathroom, and Drew told him where he needed to go "in case you have to take a Modell". Classic.

This week's new movie release:

Once again, only one movie is coming out this week. Look for this to be the biggest thing of the year (although I still maintain that "The Dark Knight" will make more money).

On the other hand, if you are lucky enough to be in Los Angeles, you could be among the mad rush of tens of people clamoring to see "Postal", sure to be Uwe Boll's fourth entry into IMDB's Bottom 100.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LeBeouf

Plot: Famed archaeologist/adventurer Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones is called back into action to stop a Soviet plot to uncover and use ancient artifacts in order to take over the world.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: It will make a bazillion dollars. Read the Review

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

New DVD Releases for Tuesday, May 27th

Rambo - When I first heard of Stallone doing another "Rocky" movie, almost a year before "Rocky Balboa" came out, I was full of dread...but it turned out I was wrong. That still didn't stop me from being full of dread when I first heard about Stallone doing another "Rambo" movie...and I was right about this one. It stinks.

Grace Is Gone - The week's winner of the category of "Best Movie to watch to become totally depressed with the world". John Cusack as a father having to deal with telling his young daughters that their mother died while serving in Iraq. A movie to make you want to put Dr. Khevorkian on Speed Dial.

Calendar Watch

Next week; Sex and the City, The Strangers

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

You Don't Mess with the Zohan - June 6th - Adam Sandler as a former Mossad agent setting up shop as a hairdresser in New York City.

Kung Fu Panda - June 6th - Jack Black as the voice of a reluctant panda bear recruited by a team of Kung Fu masters.

The Incredible Hulk - June 13th - Looks to be much, much better than the Ang Lee stink-fest, with Edward Norton taking on the role of Bruce Banner.

The Happening - June 13th - Latest M. Night Shyamalan thriller, staring Mark Wahlberg in a tale about a family on the run after natural disasters threaten the entire planet.

Get Smart - June 20th - Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, and Alan Arkin take on the roles of Maxwell Smart, Agent 99 and The Chief. As much as I hate movie adaptations of television shows, this one has potential.

The Love Guru - June 20th - Mike Myers already catching as much hell from India as Sacha Baron Cohen did from Kazakhstan for making fun of cultures that don't seem to have a sense of humor.

Wall-E - June 27th - Pixar's next masterpiece, about a garbage cleaning robot who dreams of the stars.

Wanted - June 27th - Look for this to make a box office star out of James McAvoy ("The Last King of Scotland", "Atonement") as he plays a young man brought into a secret society of assassins by a hot, hot looking Angelina Jolie. Morgan Freeman plays their boss.

Hancock - July 4th - Will Smith as a hard-living superhero needing the use of a public relations professional (Jason Bateman) to repair his image.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army - July 11th - The big red cigar chomping demon with a bad attitude is back for more butt kicking.

The Dark Knight - July 19th - Batman is back, and this time he's tracking the Joker, played by Heath Ledger. Most likely the box office champion of 2008.

Mamma Mia! - July 19th - Something for the ladies to attend while the guys are busy watching Batman kick the Joker's ass. A musical featuring the songs of ABBA. And my wife wants us to go see it. Sigh.

X-Files 2: I Want to Believe - July 25th - I really want to believe that this movie won't be as lame as the first one.

Tropic Thunder - August 15th - A group of actors shooting a big budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying in the film. Stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr, playing a white actor donning black make-up to "fit the part".

The International - August 15th - Clive Owen and Naomi Watts in a thriller about an Interpol agent's attempts to break up an international arms dealing ring financed by a high profile bank. (What can Wachovia do for you?)

Righteous Kill - September 12th - Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together again as NY detectives working on a case that may be related to both a serial killer and a man they might have wrongly imprisoned years before.

Eagle Eye - September 26th - Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monoghan as a slacker and a single mother who become unwitting members of a terrorist cell plotting a political assassination.

Body of Lies - October 10th - Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio in Ridley Scott's spy tale of intrigue in the Middle East.

RocknRolla - October 31st - Guy Ritchie hopefully back in form for another tale of London gangsters. Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Tom Wilkenson, and Jeremy Friggin' Piven star.

Quantum of Solace - November 13th - The next James Bond film, picking up shortly after the events ending "Casino Royale"

Australia - November 14th - Baz Luhrmann's epic tale set in WWII Australia. With Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. Think "Gone with the Wind" with kangaroos.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - November 21st - The sixth of J.K. Rowling's seven books, setting the stage for the two part conclusion in 2010 and 2011.

The Road - November 28th - Viggo Mortensen as a man walking with his son for months across a ravaged, post-apocalyptic landscape in search of civilization. Charlize Theron co-stars.

Defiance - December 19th - Daniel Craig and Live Schreiber as Jewish brothers in WWII Russian, leading a band of refuges in striking back at the Germans. A major early Oscar contender

Revolutionary Road - December 19th - Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet as a young couple raising a family in a Connecticut suburb during the mid 1950s. Sam Mendes ("American Beauty") directs the "Titanic" stars in their on-screen reunion.

The Spirit - December 25th - Frank Miller's next comic book adaptation, done in the same style as "Sin City".

Blockbusters on the Distant Horizon (movies that would seem to be big hits...as soon as they get made).

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - May 1st, 2009 - Hugh Jackman goes it alone as the adamentium enhanced anti-hero. With Live Schreiber as Sabertooth, and Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool.

Star Trek - May 8th, 2009 - J.J. Abrams and a young cast reboot the franchise, going back to Kirk and Spock's days at Starfleet Academy.

Angels and Demons - May 15th, 2009 - Tom Hanks and Ron Howard follow-up to "The DaVinci Code"

Terminator 4 - May 22nd, 2009 - Christian Bale as John Conner as the franchise moves into the apocalyptic future.

Transformers 2 - June 26th, 2009 - The next chapter of Robots In Disguise!

Public Enemy - July 1st, 2009 - Johnny Depp as John Dillinger. Co-staring Christian Bale, and directed by Michael Mann

The Taking of Pelham 123- August 7th, 2009 - Denzel Washington, John Travolta, and James Gandolfini in a remake of the classic 1974 film about a hijacked subway car.

Shutter Island - October, 2009 - Martin Scorsese working once again with Leonardo DiCaprio in this mystery set in 1954.

Nottingham - November, 2009 - Ridley Scot and Russell Crowe together again in a retelling of the Robin Hood legend, this time through the eyes of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Crowe).

Avatar - December 18th, 2009 - James Cameron's sci-fi/CGI extravaganza.

Iron Man 2 - May, 2010 - Right on the heels of the success of the first one, Marvel is quick to get Robert Downey Jr. back into his titanium suit.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - May, 2010 - The series goes off in a bit of a different direction, as those of you who love the books already know.

Thor - June 2010 - Another Marvel superhero...but the Nordic God is about as bland personality-wise as Superman, so we'll see how it goes.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I - 2010 - The start of the End for the boy wizard and his battle against He-Who-Shall-not-Be-Named

Lincoln - 2010 - Steven Spielberg directs the biographical film of the 16th President (Liam Neeson)

The Hobbit - 2010 - Guillermo del Toro directs and Peter Jackson will produce the prequel to "Lord of the Rings". Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf

Fantastic Voyage - 2010 - Roland Emmerich ("The Day After Tomorrow", "10,000 B.C.") remakes the classic 1967 movie about a miniaturized sub and crew operating on a scientist from inside his brain.

The Avengers - 2011 - Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America open up a can of whoopass on bad guys everywhere.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - 2011 - The end of the line for what will be beyond doubt the most profitable series in the history of film making.

The Hobbit 2 - 2011 - del Toro and Jackson again, this time covering the time between the end of Tolkien's book, "The Hobbit" and the start of LOTR.

The TCF Forums

Get DirectSatTV to follow your favorite Cavs action.