Written by Mitch Cyrus

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The women represented this past week at the box office, lining up in droves to go see "Sex and the City".  This week's theater releases of note are "Kung Fu Panda" (kids movie) and "You Don't Mess with the Zohan".  We've also got some good DVD releases this week, and Mitch breaks it all down for us in this week's Crystal Ball.  Also, in the News & Rumors section, Mitch has news on "Transformers 2", the third season of "Dexter", and the latest projects from Brian DePalma and Guy Ritchie.

Probably the biggest surprise of the week was how many women actually go to the theater on opening weekend. Studies have shown that Summer movie releases are very much slanted to the male population, as they make up most of those that try to make sure they hit the theaters on a movie’s first weekend. But the women represented last week, as “Sex and the City” dominated the box office, knocking Indiana Jones into the (temporary) position of “also-ran”.

And my wife still isn’t amused by the write-up I made of our experience last weekend while going to see it.

News and Rumors

~ The title of the new Transformers movie is out; “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen”. Looks like most of the stars are coming back; Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and John Turturro.

~ Brian De Palma’s most recent movies have…er…stunk (“The Black Dahlia”, anyone?). So I’m not sure about this one: “The Boston Stranglers”. It’s based on a non-fiction book about the killings in the early 60s, debating whether Albert DeSalvo, the man who confessed, and was later stabbed to death in prison, was the actual killer.

~ Guy Ritchie (“Snatch”) is going to be directing a Sherlock Holmes movie. Looks like Warner Bros. is wanting to re-invent the franchise, a la 007 in “Casino Royale”, by going to the younger days of Holmes and Watson, taking advantage of Holmes reputed skills as a boxer and swordsman. As long as Ritchie keeps his wife away from the film (Madonna), he should be a great choice.

~ Dexter News! Jimmy Smits will star in 10 of the 12 episodes set for the upcoming third season of our favorite serial killer. Smits will play an ambitious assistant district attorney who comes from a high-profile and powerful Miami family. So does that mean that Smits character will be pursuing Dexter as a killer, or will Dexter find out that the ADA is a killer himself, hiding behind his family’s connections? Stay tuned. The season starts in September.

~ I can’t see this working. A remake of the classic Audrey Hepburn/Rex Harrison musical “My Fair Lady” with Keira Knightly taking on the role of Eliza Doolittle. I loved the original movie…and I just can’t see how any remake can stack up, no matter how talented Keira is.

~ Speaking of musical sequels/remakes we don’t want to see; Gerard Butler is being approached by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber to one again star as the Phantom of the Opera, this time on stage as Webber plans to write a sequel operetta to his mega hit. Not sure I want to see King Leonidas take this role on…but it would probably be better than “P.S. I Love You”.

This week’s new movie releases:

If you’ve got young kids…you might be going to the theater this weekend.

Kung Fu Panda

Starring: The voices of Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Ian McShane, and Jackie Chan

Plot: A reluctant panda bear is recruited by a team of Kung Fu masters and trained in the ways of the martial arts in order to protect the Valley of Peace from an evil snow leopard.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: This is going to be huge…although I can tell you right now it will still end up as the #2 animation this year, behind “Wall-E”. But don’t take that as a slam against this one, as it is being saluted by the critics as the best family film of the year (better than “Horton Hears a Who”). Disney’s animators aren’t nearly as good as those at Pixar, but they’ve got a winner here with Black being the perfect voice for the coolest bear since Yogi.

My Estimated Rating: Brian Sipe (3 ½ footballs).

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You Don’t Mess with the Zohan

Starring: Adam Sandler, John Tuturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui

Plot: A Mossad super agent fakes his own death and moves to New York to become a hair stylist.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Here is the deal. If you like Adam Sandler movies, you’ll like this one, because it’s just like all the other…it’s just that this time he’s incorporating a little Borat-esque political humor as well. Sex and bathroom jokes will be prevalent.

My Estimated Rating: Kelly Holcomb (2 footballs)

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, June 10^th

Get your Netflix Queue updated, because we’ve got some winners this week.

The Bucket List – Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as a millionaire and a retired auto mechanic. They have nothing in common…except that they find that they are both old, and going to die soon. So they set about marking things off their “Bucket List”; things to do before you kick the bucket. Not extremely well received by critics (what do they know?), but very popular with audiences.

Jumper – Samuel L. Jackson as a quasi deranged head of a secret organization tracking down “jumpers”; people with the power to teleport. Interesting sci-fi concept, starring the not-so-interesting Hayden Christensen (aka; the worst actor in Hollywood)

The Other Boleyn Girl – Natalie Portman as the doomed Queen Anne Boleyn with Scarlett Johansson as her slutty sister Mary, and Eric Bana as the fickle King Henry VIII. As I enjoyed watching Showtime’s fascinating Henry VIII biopic “The Tudors”, which showed Anne Boleyn not as a sympathetic figure, but a conniving bitch who got what she deserved, it will be interesting to see how this one goes.

Witless Protection – Beat the rush to see what will certainly end up as one of the worst movies of this, or any year. Larry the Cable Guy as a bumbling sheriff who “rescues” a woman from the FBI detail that was trying to protect her. I might vote for a second viewing of “Sex and the City” before recommending this crap.

Calendar Watch

Next week;, The Incredible Hulk, The Happening

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

Get Smart – June 20^th – Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, and Alan Arkin take on the roles of Maxwell Smart, Agent 99 and The Chief. As much as I hate movie adaptations of television shows, this one has potential.

The Love Guru – June 20^th – Mike Myers already catching as much hell from India as Sacha Baron Cohen did from Kazakhstan for making fun of cultures that don’t seem to have a sense of humor.

Wall-E – June 27^th – Pixar’s next masterpiece, about a garbage cleaning robot who dreams of the stars.

Wanted – June 27^th – Look for this to make a box office star out of James McAvoy (“The Last King of Scotland”, “Atonement”) as he plays a young man brought into a secret society of assassins by a hot, hot looking Angelina Jolie. Morgan Freeman plays their boss.

Hancock – July 4^th – Will Smith as a hard-living superhero needing the use of a public relations professional (Jason Bateman) to repair his image.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army – July 11^th – The big red cigar chomping demon with a bad attitude is back for more butt kicking.

The Dark Knight – July 18^th – Batman is back, and this time he’s tracking the Joker, played by Heath Ledger. Most likely the box office champion of 2008.

Mamma Mia! – July 18^th – Something for the ladies to attend while the guys are busy watching Batman kick the Joker’s ass. A musical featuring the songs of ABBA. And my wife wants us to go see it. Sigh.

X-Files 2: I Want to Believe – July 25^th – I want to believe this won’t be as lame as the first X-Files movie. We’ll see

Tropic Thunder – August 15^th – A group of actors shooting a big budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying in the film. Stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr, playing a white actor donning black make-up to “fit the part”.

Star Wars: the Clone Wars – August 15^th – First ever animated Star Wars project from Lucasfilm Animation.

Righteous Kill – September 12^th – Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together again as NY detectives working on a case that may be related to both a serial killer and a man they might have wrongly imprisoned years before.

Burn After Reading – September 12^th – The latest Coen Brothers’ movie, with Brad Pitt joining Frances McDormand, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton and John Malkovich in a dark comedy about missing memoirs of a CIA agent.

Eagle Eye – September 26^th – Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monoghan as a slacker and a single mother who become unwitting members of a terrorist cell plotting a political assassination.

House of Lies – October 10^th – Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio in Ridley Scott’s spy tale of intrigue in the Middle East.

RocknRolla – October 31^st – Guy Ritchie hopefully back in form for another tale of London gangsters. Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Tom Wilkenson, and Jeremy Friggin’ Piven star.

Quantum of Solace – November 13^th – The next James Bond film, picking up shortly after the events ending “Casino Royale”

Australia – November 14^th – Baz Luhrmann’s epic tale set in WWII Australia. With Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. Think “Gone with the Wind” with kangaroos.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – November 21^st – The sixth of J.K. Rowling’s seven books, setting the stage for the two part conclusion in 2010 and 2011.

The Road – November 28^th – Viggo Mortensen as a man walking with his son for months across a ravaged, post-apocalyptic landscape in search of civilization. Charlize Theron co-stars.

Defiance – December 19^th – Daniel Craig and Live Schreiber as Jewish brothers in WWII Russian, leading a band of refuges in striking back at the Germans. A major early Oscar contender

Revolutionary Road – December 19^th – Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet as a young couple raising a family in a Connecticut suburb during the mid 1950s. Sam Mendes (“American Beauty”) directs the “Titanic” stars in their on-screen reunion.

The Spirit – December 25^th – Frank Miller’s next comic book adaptation, done in the same style as “Sin City”.

Blockbusters on the Distant Horizon (movies that would seem to be big hits…as soon as they get made).

X-Men Origins: Wolverine – May 1^st, 2009 – Hugh Jackman goes it alone as the adamentium enhanced anti-hero. With Live Schreiber as Sabertooth, and Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool.

Star Trek – May 8^th, 2009 – J.J. Abrams and a young cast reboot the franchise, going back to Kirk and Spock’s days at Starfleet Academy.

Angels and Demons – May 15^th, 2009 – Tom Hanks and Ron Howard follow-up to “The DaVinci Code”

Terminator 4 – May 22^nd, 2009 – Christian Bale as John Conner as the franchise moves into the apocalyptic future.

Transformers 2 – June 26^th, 2009 – The next chapter of Robots In Disguise!

Public Enemy – July 1^st, 2009 – Johnny Depp as John Dillinger. Co-staring Christian Bale, and directed by Michael Mann

The Taking of Pelham 123– August 7^th, 2009 – Denzel Washington, John Travolta, and James Gandolfini in a remake of the classic 1974 film about a hijacked subway car.

Shutter Island – October, 2009 – Martin Scorsese working once again with Leonardo DiCaprio in this mystery set in 1954.

Nottingham – November, 2009 – Ridley Scot and Russell Crowe together again in a retelling of the Robin Hood legend, this time through the eyes of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Crowe).

Avatar – December 18^th, 2009 – James Cameron’s sci-fi/CGI extravaganza.

Iron Man 2 – May, 2010 – Right on the heels of the success of the first one, Marvel is quick to get Robert Downey Jr. back into his titanium suit.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – May, 2010 – The series goes off in a bit of a different direction, as those of you who love the books already know.

Thor – June 2010 – Another Marvel superhero…but the Nordic God is about as bland personality-wise as Superman, so we’ll see how it goes.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I – 2010 – The start of the End for the boy wizard and his battle against He-Who-Shall-not-Be-Named

Lincoln – 2010 – Steven Spielberg directs the biographical film of the 16^th President (Liam Neeson)

The Hobbit – 2010 – Guillermo del Toro directs and Peter Jackson will produce the prequel to “Lord of the Rings”. Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf

Fantastic Voyage – 2010 - Roland Emmerich (“The Day After Tomorrow”, “10,000 B.C.”) remakes the classic 1967 movie about a miniaturized sub and crew operating on a scientist from inside his brain.

The Avengers – 2011 – Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America open up a can of whoopass on bad guys everywhere.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II – 2011 – The end of the line for what will be beyond doubt the most profitable series in the history of film making.

The Hobbit 2 – 2011 – del Toro and Jackson again, this time covering the time between the end of Tolkien’s book, “The Hobbit” and the start of LOTR.