Written by Mitch Cyrus

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Well, by far the biggest box office release of 2008 is today as "The Dark Knight" hits theaters all across America amid lofty praise, stellar reviews, and sky high expectations.  You know The Mitch Man will be at the theaters this evening to review it for us, and we will run that piece on Sunday afternoon.  Mitch hits on "The Dark Knight" and all of the week's other theater and DVD releases in this Friday's edition of The Crystal Ball.

I hear there is a movie coming out today that might be of interest.  I'll see if I can dig up any information about it before next week. 

News and Rumors  

~ Not to immediately contradict my sarcastic opening line, but today Christian Bale has announced that he would do a third Batman movie...but only if director Christopher Nolan agrees to come back as well.  Back up the Brinks truck, boys. 

~ The first teaser trailer is out for Alan Moore's "Watchmen".  It's out on March 9^th.  Make plans accordingly. 

~ Staying with the comic book theme that's probably going to dominate this weekend, the Wachowski Brothers are planning to make a movie about Plastic Man?  And they want Keanu Reeves to star?  You know...I didn't think it was possible for M. Night Shyamalan to make a worse movie than "Lady In the Water" until I saw "The Happening".  I also wouldn't have thought that the Wachowskis could make anything worse than "Speed Racer"...looks like I could be wrong there as well. 

~ Rumors are out that Quentin Tarantino is about to round up both Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio for his next project, "Inglorious Bastards".  It's a WWII drama about a group of soldiers facing death by firing squad who are given a chance to go on a suicide mission.  No, it's not a remake of "The Dirty Dozen"...but it sure sounds like it.  But the triumvirate of Tarantino, DiCaprio, and Pitt is just too intriguing for me to disparage it at this time. 

~ Sopranos star Michael Imperioli finally has a new gig.  He will co-star in the upcoming television series "Life on Mars" as the partner to series star Jason O'Mara.  The twist is that O'Mara's cop character is from the year 2008...but he somehow time travels back to 1973 New York City.   
 

This week's new movie releases: 

There actually is more than one movie being released this weekend.  Not that anyone in the typical demographic of TheClevelandFan.com would have any interest in the other two whatsoever. 

The Dark Knight 

Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Maggie Gyllenhaal 

Plot: If you need me to explain this one to you...you are officially labeled "hopeless" 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz: By the time you read this, the film will have already pulled in about $75 million.  The critics and the fanboys are all heaping their praise on this one, and I completely stand by my prediction that this will be the Box Office Champion of 2008, blowing Indiana Jones and Iron Man right out of the water.  The review will be up later this weekend. 

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Mamma Mia! 

Starring: Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Amanda Seyfried 

Plot:  In an attempt to figure out her father's identity, a bride-to-be invites three likely candidates to her wedding on a Greek Island.  Oh, and they sing all of these songs by ABBA. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz: Of course I cannot review this movie on pain of death after my wife caught wind of my review of Sex and the City: Where Testosterone Goes to Die.  Needless to say, this is some serious counter programming to "The Dark Knight"...although I'm not sure about using the word "serious" when talking about a movie that is going to be this bad.  This whole concept of basing a Broadway Musical and then a movie off a bunch of songs from a crappy 70s band is just too hard for me to fathom. 

My Estimated Rating: Mike Phipps (1/2 football) 

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Space Chimps 

Starring: the voices of Andy Samberg, Stanley Tucci, and Jeff Daniels 

Plot:  Ham III, the grandson of the first chimp astronaut, is blasted into space by an opportunity seeking Senator. 

View Trailer 

The BeerBuzz:  Another attempt at counter programming, but the difference is that this kiddie movie really, really stinks.  If the kids are too young for Batman, and insist on seeing a movie this weekend...take them to "WALL-E", "Kung Fu Panda", or "Kitt Kitridge"...anything but this. 

My Estimated Rating: Spergeon Wynn (zero footballs). 

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, July 22^nd  

Very light week this coming Tuesday, as only one film that was released nationwide is coming out. 

21 - Pretty good movie, even if the tale they tell is nowhere close to the actual events that transpired when a bunch of MIT braniacs took their overdeveloped cerebral cortexes to Vegas to count cards.  No matter, Kevin Spacey rules as the mastermind behind the eye candy. 
 

Calendar Watch  

Next week; X-Files 2: I Want to Believe, Step Brothers

 

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers). 
 

Tropic Thunder - August 15^th - A group of actors shooting a big budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying in the film.  Stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr, playing a white actor donning black make-up to "fit the part". 

Star Wars: the Clone Wars - August 15^th - First ever animated Star Wars project from Lucasfilm Animation. 

Righteous Kill - September 12^th - Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together again as NY detectives working on a case that may be related to both a serial killer and a man they might have wrongly imprisoned years before. 

Burn After Reading - September 12^th - The latest Coen Brothers' movie, with Brad Pitt joining Frances McDormand, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton and John Malkovich in a dark comedy about missing memoirs of a CIA agent. 

Eagle Eye - September 26^th - Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monoghan as a slacker and a single mother who become unwitting members of a terrorist cell plotting a political assassination. 

Miracle at St. Anna - September 26^th - Spike Lee's tale of a a battalion of black American soldiers who became trapped in a Tuscan village during WWII. 

Body of Lies - October 10^th - Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio in Ridley Scott's spy tale of intrigue in the Middle East. 

Max Payne - October 17^th - Mark Wahlberg stars in the adaptation of the video game about a DEA agent out to avenge the deaths of his family. 

Pride and Glory - October 24^th - Edward Norton and Colin Farrell in a story about a family of prominent NYC cops who are shaken to their core when a scandal is uncovered. 

RocknRolla - October 31^st - Guy Ritchie hopefully back in form for another tale of London gangsters.  Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Tom Wilkenson, and Jeremy Friggin' Piven star. 

Quantum of Solace - November 7^th - The next James Bond film, picking up shortly after the events ending "Casino Royale" 

Australia - November 14^th - Baz Luhrmann's epic tale set in WWII Australia.  With Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman.  Think "Gone with the Wind" with kangaroos. 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - November 21^st - The sixth of J.K. Rowling's seven books, setting the stage for the two part conclusion in 2010 and 2011. 

The Road - November 28^th - Viggo Mortensen as a man walking with his son for months across a ravaged, post-apocalyptic landscape in search of civilization.  Charlize Theron co-stars. 

The Day the Earth Stood Still - December 12^th - Keanu Reeves in a remake of the classic 1951 sci-fi film. 

Defiance - December 19^th - Daniel Craig and Live Schreiber as Jewish brothers in WWII Russian, leading a band of refuges in striking back at the Germans.  A major early Oscar contender 

Revolutionary Road - December 19^th - Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet as a young couple raising a family in a Connecticut suburb during the mid 1950s.  Sam Mendes ("American Beauty") directs the "Titanic" stars in their on-screen reunion. 

The Spirit - December 25^th - Frank Miller's next comic book adaptation, done in the same style as "Sin City". 
 

Blockbusters on the Distant Horizon (movies that would seem to be big hits...as soon as they get made or released). 

Watchmen - March 6, 2009 - The screen version of what is arguably graphic novelist Alan Moore's greatest work. 

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - May 1, 2009 - Hugh Jackman goes it alone as the adamentium enhanced anti-hero.  With Live Schreiber as Sabertooth, and Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. 

Star Trek - May 8, 2009 - J.J. Abrams and a young cast reboot the franchise, going back to Kirk and Spock's days at Starfleet Academy. 

Angels and Demons - May 15,  2009 - Tom Hanks and Ron Howard follow-up to "The DaVinci Code" 

Terminator 4 - May 22, 2009 - Christian Bale as John Conner as the franchise moves into the apocalyptic future. 

Transformers 2 - June 26, 2009 - The next chapter of Robots In Disguise! 

Public Enemy - July 1, 2009 - Johnny Depp as John Dillinger.  Co-staring Christian Bale, and directed by Michael Mann 

The Taking of Pelham 123- August 7, 2009 - Denzel Washington, John Travolta, and James Gandolfini in a remake of the classic 1974 film about a hijacked subway car. 

Shutter Island - October, 2009 - Martin Scorsese working once again with Leonardo DiCaprio in this mystery set in 1954. 

Nottingham - November, 2009 - Ridley Scot and Russell Crowe together again in a retelling of the Robin Hood legend, this time through the eyes of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Crowe).  With Sienna Miller as Maid Marion. 

Avatar - December 18, 2009 - James Cameron's sci-fi/CGI extravaganza.  The C.I.A. should take lessons about secrecy from Cameron, as he's keeping info about this film very much to himself at this time. 

Iron Man 2 - May, 2010 - Right on the heels of the success of the first one, Marvel is quick to get Robert Downey Jr. back into his titanium suit. 

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - May, 2010 - The series goes off in a bit of a different direction, as those of you who love the books already know. 

Thor - June 2010 - Another Marvel superhero...but the Nordic God is about as bland personality-wise as Superman, so we'll see how it goes. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I - 2010 - The start of the End for the boy wizard and his battle against He-Who-Shall-not-Be-Named 

Lincoln - 2010 - Steven Spielberg directs the biographical film of the 16^th President (Liam Neeson) 

The Hobbit - 2010 - Guillermo del Toro directs and Peter Jackson will produce the prequel to "Lord of the Rings".  Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf 

Fantastic Voyage - 2010 - Roland Emmerich ("The Day After Tomorrow", "10,000 B.C.") remakes the classic 1967 movie about a miniaturized sub and crew operating on a scientist from inside his brain. 

The Avengers - 2011 - Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America open up a can of whoopass on bad guys everywhere. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - 2011 - The end of the line for what will be beyond doubt the most profitable series in the history of film making. 

The Hobbit 2 - 2011 - del Toro and Jackson again, this time covering the time between the end of Tolkien's book, "The Hobbit" and the start of LOTR.