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Misc Movies/TV Movies Archive The Crystal Ball - November 21 Releases
Written by Mitch Cyrus

Mitch Cyrus
Jack is Back baby! "24: Redemption", the two hour movie that lets us know what Jack's been up to since the conclusion of Season 6 and setting up the start of Season 7 on January 11. Sunday night, 9 PM on FOX. It's not a great weekend for theater releases (some good DVD releases though), but who cares? It's a great sports weekend, which all gets started Saturday at noon when the Buckeyes take on those chumps from that state up north. This was supposed to be the weekend I was anticipating as much as any movie weekend this year...the one time I might have went to a midnight showing, taking along both my wife and adult daughter.

This was supposed to be the weekend that "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" opened.

But nnnooooooo...the studio, in their infinite greed, figured that even though the film was ready, they wanted to make even more money, and pulled it back to July of next year.

So what do we get instead?  The teenaged (and PG-13) version of "TrueBlood", and John Travolta in a cartoon.

Bastards!

I guess I can take solace in knowing that Sunday is going to be one busy, busy night for me DVR.  In just two days...

Jack.

Is.

Back.

"24: Redemption", the two hour movie that lets us know what Jack's been up to since the conclusion of Season 6 and setting up the start of Season 7 on January 11.

We also have the season finales of "TrueBlood" and "Entourage" on HBO, to say nothing of the continued escapades of our favorite serial killer "Dexter".

(and then we have that little thing going on Saturday.  If you dig enough, you might find a reference to it somewhere on TCF).

News and Rumors

~ Another franchise may be looking at getting the now infamous "reboot" treatment.  "X-Men: First Class" would look into the younger X-Men such as Colossus, Iceman, Rogue, Angel, Jubilee, and Shadowcat.  If you think this is being done because Halle Berry doesn't want to come back...you're probably right.  Although I'd be surprised if both Ellen Page and Anna Paquin would return as well.  We'll keep our eyes and ears tuned in.

~ More Sci-Fi!  Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Dent in "The Dark Knight") has signed on to star in "Battle: Los Angeles", a film about a Marine platoon's encounter with an alien battle in downtown Los Angeles.  How could they tell who was an alien, and who is just your "average" Hollywood citizen?

~ Nothing is sacred...or anywhere close to it...to South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.  Their next project?  "Mormon Musical!"  Conceived after the controversy of the Mormon Church pumping millions of dollars to support California's Proposition 8 banning gay marriage, look for Parker and Stone to handle the Church of Latter Day Saints with the same dignity, tact, and class as they did with...hmmm?...maybe we're thinking about how they addressed Scientology?  (Scientologists buggering little boys and killing Chef).

Stupid Remakes and Sequels

~ Eddie Murphy is looking to make "The Nutty Professor 3".  I'd personally prefer seeing a full length feature of the spoof Jack Black did of it in "Tropic Thunder"...that way, I wouldn't have to become physically ill by just the sight of Eddie Murphy.

This week's new movie releases:

Twilight

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke

Plot: In Forks, Washington, on the Olympic Peninsula, a misfit teen girl falls for a member of a non-typical vampire clan.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: You will not be able to get into a theater this weekend without having a bazillion teenaged girls clamoring about.  That said...the buzz on this isn't that great.  It may satisfy the teens, but the pace is said to be glacial and the special effects mediocre.  I'll see if I can figure out myself in the next several days.

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Bolt

Starring: the voices of John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, and Susie Essman

Plot: The canine star of a hit TV sci-fi show ends up roaming free in the streets of New York City.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Too bad for you if you have young kids...because you are going to get drug to this.  The buzz isn't really bad about this movie...but just be aware that it is certainly no Pixar film, and it is definitely only aimed at the little ones.

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, November 25th  

Hancock - A very uneven superhero movie that would have crashed and burned badly except for one reason: Will Smith.  The Fresh Prince really makes an alcoholic jerk Superman-type "hero" work.  Great effects, and good co-staring turns from Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron.  It ain't Art...but it is worth watching.

Fred Claus - Surprising that it's taken a full year for this 2007 release to make it to DVD.  That would be because this tale of Santa's near-do-well younger brother didn't exactly spell box-office gold...and they're hoping that people would have forgotten how bad it stunk, and will buy it anyway since it's now back to the holiday season.

Meet Dave - The biggest suck of the year was this horrible "comedy" from Eddie Murphy where he plays a spaceship that looks like a life-sized Eddie Murphy, commanded by a miniature Eddie Murphy and some other people seriously lacking in both talent and self-respect.  Why Elizabeth Banks lowered herself to work on this project is a mystery I cannot fathom the answer to.

Space Chimps - More space ships!  This time, as an awful cartoon about the ancestors of Ham, the first chimpanzee in space, making a trip on their own.  Quite honestly...you'd be much better off taking your kid to go see "Bolt" than renting this.  Unless you plan on just slapping it into the DVD player, and then heading to the basement for a football game and lots of beer.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona - Woody Allen comes back somewhat from a couple of straight sucky movies to make one that only ‘almost sucks'.  Scarlett Johansson, Woody's latest muse (and I can't get some really disgusting images out of my mind) and Rebecca Hall play two American tourists in Spain who both become enamored with the same painter (Javier Bardem), unaware that his fiery ex-wife (Penelope Cruz) is about to re-enter the picture.

Calendar Watch

Next week: Australia, Four Christmases, Transporter 3

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

The Day the Earth Stood Still - December 12th - Keanu Reeves in a remake of the classic 1951 sci-fi film.

The Spirit - December 25th - Frank Miller's next comic book adaptation, done in the same style as "Sin City".

Valkyrie - December 25th - Evidently some good editing has been performed on this film once destined for the scrap heap.  Very positive buzz about Tom Cruise's performance as the German colonel who attempted to assassinate Hitler.  We shall see.

Oscar Contenders - Movies that will have limited releases by the end of the year, and if they are any good...you'll see them in January

Milk - Sean Penn as the first openly gay man elected to public office in San Francisco in 1977, only to be assassinated the following year.

Cadillac Records - A chronicle of the rise and fall of Chess Records, the label founded by Leonard Chess (Adrian Brody), that featured Etta James (Beyonce Knowles), Chuck Berry (Mos Def), and others.

Doubt - The principal (Meryl Streep) of a Catholic school in the Bronx grows suspicious of a priest (Philip Seymour Hoffman) who might have molested a student.

Frost / Nixon - December 26th - Ron Howard's latest Oscar attempt, adapting the stage play of the disgraced president's attempt to re-habilitate his image on David Frost's TV show, and Frost's attempt to drag out the truth from Tricky Dick

The Wrestler - Mickey Rourke is picking up early Oscar buzz in this character study of a professional wrestler nearing the end of his performing days.

Revolutionary Road- Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet as a young couple raising a family in a Connecticut suburb during the mid 1950s.  Sam Mendes ("American Beauty") directs the "Titanic" stars in their on-screen reunion.

Defiance - Daniel Craig and Live Schreiber as Jewish brothers in WWII Russian, leading a band of refuges in striking back at the Germans.  A major early Oscar contender

Blockbusters on the Distant Horizon (movies that would seem to be big hits...as soon as they get made or released).

The International - February 13, 2009 - Clive Owen and Naomi Watts in a thriller about an Interpol investigation of a world-wide bank funding murder and corruption.  And you thought Wachovia was bad?

Watchmen - March 6, 2009 - The screen version of what is arguably graphic novelist Alan Moore's greatest work.

The Soloist - March 13, 2009 - Rober Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx star about a talented musician who is now living on the streets.

The Road - Viggo Mortensen as a man walking with his son for months across a ravaged, post-apocalyptic landscape in search of civilization.  Charlize Theron co-stars.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - May 1, 2009 - Hugh Jackman goes it alone as the adamentium enhanced anti-hero.  With Live Schreiber as Sabertooth, and Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool.

Star Trek - May 8, 2009 - J.J. Abrams and a young cast reboot the franchise, going back to Kirk and Spock's days at Starfleet Academy.

Angels and Demons - May 15,  2009 - Tom Hanks and Ron Howard follow-up to "The DaVinci Code"

Terminator 4 - May 22, 2009 - Christian Bale as John Conner as the franchise moves into the apocalyptic future.

Transformers 2 - June 26, 2009 - The next chapter of Robots In Disguise!

Public Enemy - July 1, 2009 - Johnny Depp as John Dillinger.  Co-staring Christian Bale, and directed by Michael Mann

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - July 2009 - The sixth of J.K. Rowling's seven books, setting the stage for the two part conclusion in 2010 and 2011.

The Taking of Pelham 123- August 7, 2009 - Denzel Washington, John Travolta, and James Gandolfini in a remake of the classic 1974 film about a hijacked subway car.

Shutter Island - October, 2009 - Martin Scorsese working once again with Leonardo DiCaprio in this mystery set in 1954.

Nottingham - November, 2009 - Ridley Scot and Russell Crowe together again in a retelling of the Robin Hood legend, this time through the eyes of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Crowe).  With Sienna Miller as Maid Marion.

Avatar - December 18, 2009 - James Cameron's sci-fi/CGI extravaganza.  The C.I.A. should take lessons about secrecy from Cameron, as he's keeping info about this film very much to himself at this time.

Iron Man 2 - May, 2010 - Right on the heels of the success of the first one, Marvel is quick to get Robert Downey Jr. back into his titanium suit.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - May, 2010 - The series goes off in a bit of a different direction, as those of you who love the books already know.

Thor - June 2010 - Another Marvel superhero...but the Nordic God is about as bland personality-wise as Superman, so we'll see how it goes.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I - 2010 - The start of the End for the boy wizard and his battle against He-Who-Shall-not-Be-Named

Lincoln - 2010 - Steven Spielberg directs the biographical film of the 16th President (Liam Neeson)

The Hobbit - 2010 - Guillermo del Toro directs and Peter Jackson will produce the prequel to "Lord of the Rings".  Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf

Fantastic Voyage - 2010 - Roland Emmerich ("The Day After Tomorrow", "10,000 B.C.") remakes the classic 1967 movie about a miniaturized sub and crew operating on a scientist from inside his brain.

The Avengers - 2011 - Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America open up a can of whoopass on bad guys everywhere.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - 2011 - The end of the line for what will be beyond doubt the most profitable series in the history of film making.

The Hobbit 2 - 2011 - del Toro and Jackson again, this time covering the time between the end of Tolkien's book, "The Hobbit" and the start of LOTR.

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