Written by Mitch Cyrus

---

Luckily, at this time of year, there are a lot of things to do that don't require going into a movie theater, as it's been a Summer of Crap so far ("Star Trek", "Up", and "The Hangover" being the only exceptions), and it's not going to get any better this week says Mitch. Enjoy Father's Day Weekend! Play some golf. Watch the US Open golf. Cook out. Spend some time with the family. It's Friday night ... it's The Crystal Ball. Enjoy Father's Day Weekend!  Play some golf.  Watch the US Open golf.  Cook out.  Spend some time with the family.

Luckily, at this time of year, there are a lot of things to do that don't require going into a movie theater, as it's been a Summer of Crap so far ("Star Trek", "Up", and "The Hangover" being the only exceptions), and it's not going to get any better this week.

News and Rumors 

~ Leonardo DiCaprio is looking to make a movie about Internet gambling.  He's hired the same writers behind the 1998 gambling film "Rounders" to pen a tale centered around a Costa Rican-base internet casino.

~ Nothing surprising about this.  "The Hangover" will have a sequel.  Not that there was one planned, but you don't have a surprise hit without making the money-counters immediately trying to figure a way to milk more money out of it.

~ Stories are out that Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Harrison Ford are starting to talk about an "Indiana Jones 5".  Shia LaBeouf will be back as Indy's son...fueling speculation that he will eventually take over the franchise.

~ Reports have Michael Sheen, who was so brilliant as David Frost in last year's "Frost/Nixon", signed on to play the famous Bond Villain Blofeld in the next Bond movie.  I like this.

~ Tom Cruise is also in talks about another movie in a franchise, as he is looking to produce and star in another Mission: Impossible film.  No, Virginia...there is no originality in Hollywood.

~ Michael Bay has come out and announced that if a third "Transformers" movie is to be made, they'll have to find another director.  Bay has stated that two is enough for him.  If early reports are true that the movie is largely just a repeat of the first, I won't be disappointed.

Stupid Remakes and Sequels

~ In my review of the awful "The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3", I noted the fact that Tony Scott will next ruin the image of a classic cult movie by remaking "The Warriors".  To make matters worse, there will also be a remake of "Red Dawn".  Why?  I'm not really seeing the "Reds" invading the U.S. at this point, since the Soviet Union doesn't even exist.  I'm also not going to be seeing this mess.

This week's new movie releases: 

Year One

Starring: Jack Black and Michael Cera

Plot: A couple of lazy hunter-gatherer slackers are banished from their village, setting out on an epic adventure.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Are you a boy between the ages of 13 and 15?  If so, you may be the only ones who might actually find this juvenile fluff amusing.  I love Jack Black as an actor, but frankly, other than "School of Rock", he's best when he's a supporting actor, not the lead.  This one is getting slammed for having a script that's almost as lazy as the lead characters.  One note of interest; TCF board poster Triple-S brought up the point that this movie seemed to be something that might have been written years ago for Chris Farley and David Spade.  You can certainly see that in this film...but I'm not sure that helps anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Proposal

Starring: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds

Plot: A high powered editor is facing deportation to Canada, so she forces her male executive assistant to marry her in a Green Card Wedding.  But first, it's off to Alaska to meet his wacky family

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Some people are liking this based upon some great chemistry between Bullock and Reynolds, despite complaints about it being a very formulaic romantic comedy.  Others state that the chemistry isn't enough to make up for the totally predictable story.  And let's just completely ignore the fact that in reality, Reynold's character would have a great sexual harassment lawsuit for being told by his boss "Marry me, or be fired".  But let's not let reality ever get in our way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New DVD Releases

Not much here either...and in looking ahead, there isn't going to be a good movie released to DVD until mid-July with "Watchmen".

Confessions of a Shopaholic - Isla Fisher as a fashionista who lands a job at a financial magazine.  I'd rather watch paint dry.  Sadly...this is the best film being released this week.

Pink Panther 2 - This is proof of the concept "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me".  I have no idea why the first Steve Martin re-imaging of the Peter Sellers classic character made so much money...because it totally sucked.  I think most movie goers finally realized that as well, as this sequel totally bombed at the box office...hopefully ensuring that we'll never see another one of these abominations.

Inkheart - 205^th time Brandon Frasier takes on a kids fantasy movie.  This time, he's got the power to make any book that he reads literally come to life...which isn't good when he's bringing a bunch of very bad people to life.  Incredibly lame.

Calendar Watch  

Next week; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, My Sister's Keeper

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

Public Enemy - July 1 - Johnny Depp as John Dillinger.  Co-starring Christian Bale, and directed by Michael Mann

Bruno - July 10 - Sacha Baron Cohen attempts to recreate the magic he found in "Borat"; this time featuring his flamboyant Austrian fashion reporter character.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - July 17 - The sixth of J.K. Rowling's seven books, setting the stage for the two part conclusion in 2010 and 2011.

Funny People - July 31 - Adam Sandler in a dramatic comedy from Judd Apatow about a famous standup comedian/actor dealing with a terminal illness, and the changes he goes through when he realizes that he might have a second chance.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - August 7 - Every year, there is one big-budget movie that bombs.  My prediction is that it will be this one.

Inglourious Basterds - August 21 - Quentin Tarantino directs Brad Pitt in this violent (of course) tale of a group of WWII commandos who conducted high-profile executions/terrorist acts against the Nazis in occupied France prior to D-Day.

Gamer - September 4 - Gerard Butler as a deathrow inmate who is controlled by top gamers in a video game played out in real life for television.  With Michael C. Hall as the bad guy.

(9) - Nine  - September 9 - Tim Burton's latest animated strangeness, with Elijah Wood and Jennifer Connelly voicing characters fighting aliens in a post apocalyptic world.  Not to be confused with the Rob Marshall musical "Nine" with Daniel Day-Lewis, or the Peter Jackson produced "District 9".

Astro Boy - September 23 - They are really making a full length animated feature about this Japanese Anime chestnut?

Surrogates - September 25 - Bruce Willis as a cop in a futuristic world where humans live in isolation and interact through surrogate robots.

Shutter Island - October 2 - Martin Scorsese working once again with Leonardo DiCaprio in this mystery set in 1954.

The Road - October 16 - Viggo Mortensen as a man walking with his son for months across a ravaged, post-apocalyptic landscape in search of civilization.  Charlize Theron co-stars.

The Wolf Man - November 6 - Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins in the retelling of the classic horror tale.

2012 - November 13 - Roland Emmerich's ("The Day After Tomorrow") tale of global cataclysm and the struggle of the survivors.

Nine - November 25 - Musical version of Fellini's classic 8 ½, about a famous film director and all the women he deals with.  With Daniel Day-Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson, Sophia Loren, and Judi Dench. 

The Lovely Bones - December 11 - Peter Jackson's latest, about the ghost of a young, murdered girl watching over her family and friends' reactions to the event.  Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz star.

Avatar - December 18 - James Cameron's sci-fi/CGI extravaganza.  The C.I.A. should take lessons about secrecy from Cameron, as he's keeping info about this film very much to himself at this time.

Sherlock Holmes - December 25^th - Guy Ritchie's interpretation of the famous sleuth, with Robert Downey, Jr. in the lead role

Blockbusters on the Distant Horizon (movies that would seem to be big hits...as soon as they get made or released).

The Informant - (limited release in Sept) - Steven Soderbergh's latest attempt at Oscar with Matt Damon as a company-man turned whistleblower against an agri-business giant.  Might have touches of Coen Brother-like dark humor.

Iron Man 2 - May, 2010 - Right on the heels of the success of the first one, Marvel is quick to get Robert Downey Jr. back into his titanium suit.  Mickey Rourke and Scarlett Johansson to co-star.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - May, 2010 - The series goes off in a bit of a different direction, as those of you who love the books already know.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I - 2010 - The start of the End for the boy wizard and his battle against He-Who-Shall-not-Be-Named

Lincoln - 2010 - Steven Spielberg directs the biographical film of the 16^th President (Liam Neeson)

The Hobbit - 2010 - Guillermo del Toro directs and Peter Jackson will produce the prequel to "Lord of the Rings".  Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf

Fantastic Voyage - 2010 - Roland Emmerich ("The Day After Tomorrow", "10,000 B.C.") remakes the classic 1967 movie about a miniaturized sub and crew operating on a scientist from inside his brain.

Spider-Man 4 - May 2011 - Tobey Maquire is back as the angst ridden arachnid powered hero.

Thor - June 2011 - Another Marvel superhero...but the Nordic God is about as bland personality-wise as Superman, so we'll see how it goes.  Kevin Kidd (Rome) is said to be playing the title role.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - 2011 - The end of the line for what will be beyond doubt the most profitable series in the history of film making.

The Hobbit 2 - 2011 - del Toro and Jackson again, this time covering the time between the end of Tolkien's book, "The Hobbit" and the start of LOTR.

The Avengers - 2012 - Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America open up a can of whoopass on bad guys everywhere.