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Misc Movies/TV Movies Archive The Crystal Ball - January 22 Releases
Written by Mitch Cyrus

Mitch Cyrus
Huge day for football on Sunday, but what about the rest of the weekend? According to Mitch, it's a good time to catch up on previously released movies you may not have seen yet, like "Avatar" and "The Book of Eli", because the new releases out today stink. Mitch also catches us up on the latest movie news, such as the Coen Brothers remake of "True Grit", looks at what's being released on DVD on Tuesday, and tells us what's coming to the Big Screen in the weeks ahead.

Quite the busy week for me with "24" starting back up.  I finally got caught back up on the rest of my DVR viewings. 

An interesting development from the Golden Globes, with "Avatar" now coming on as "the movie to beat" for the Best Picture Oscar, blowing past "Up in the Air".

Or is it?

Not really...at least not lately.  Take a look back over the previous seven Golden Globe "Best Drama" winners, and you'll see that only two of them, "The Return of the King" and "Slumdog Millionaire" went on to win the Oscar.  They "missed" on "The Hours" ("Chicago" won), "The Aviator" ("Million Dollar Baby"), "Brokeback Mountain" ("Crash"), "Atonement" ("No Country for Old Men"), and the biggest head scratcher, picking "Babel" over "The Departed".

News and Rumors

~ Some time ago, I was talking about the rumor of a remake of "True Grit"...well, it's more than a rumor.  The Coen Brothers are already working on the project, which will star Jeff Bridges as "Rooster" Cogburn, the role that earned John Wayne his only Oscar, with Matt Damon playing La Boeuf, the part originated by Glen Campbell.  Steven Spielberg is on board as a producer.  No word yet on the casting of the young girl Mattie Ross (Please, please PLEASE don't be Dakota Fanning).

~ Studios keep trying to get Robert Pattinson into something to show off that he might have SOME acting talent.  He's now onboard with Reese Witherspoon for "Water for Elephants", a Depression era drama that would have Pattinson's character running off to join the circus after his parents are killed in a car crash.  He falls for the show's star performer (Witherspoon), which puts him at odds with her paranoid schizophrenic animal trainer husband.  They are wanting Sean Penn to play that role.

~ Clive Owen projects just hasn't gone very far lately...but maybe this one has a chance.  Owen is set to star in "Protection", and action/adventure film about an agent protecting a 21 year old daughter of a Mexican judge who has been targeted for murder after she becomes a witness to a drug mob execution.

~ Samuel L. Jackson and Josh Duhamel have signed on to star in director Boaz Yakim's "Sympathy for the Devil".  The two will play cops investigating the attempted assassination of a charismatic preacher, which may be the beginning of apocalyptic battle between angels and demons, with our heroes caught right in the middle.  I'd compare it a bit to "Legion"...but I get the feeling that after this weekend, no one is going to remember "Legion".

~ Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis playing 19th century grave robbers?  It is to be in "Burke & Hare", co staring Tom Wilkinson and Isla Fisher.  When Burke and his partner Hare run out of fresh bodies to steal to sell to medical schools, they turn to murder.  Expect another cult classic of strange British humor on this one.

Stupid Remakes and Sequels

~ "Conan the Barbarian" is about to be remade.  "Starring" Jason Momoa.  Who?  Oh..the big guy with the dreadlocks from "Stargate Atlantis"?  Yeah...right.  Good luck with all of that.

~ The idiots at Saturday Night Live are under the opinion that the stupid Will Forte skit "MacGruber" would make a good movie.  Probably the same people who pushed for "It's Pat!", "The Ladies Man", and "Stuart Saves His Family".

This week's new movie releases: 

Looks like it's a week to find something else to watch (like the NFL Conference Championship games)...because this week has nothing but junk.

Legion

Starring: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Charles S. Dutton

Plot: God has lost his faith in humankind, causing him to send his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. A remote diner becomes the battleground, where the Archangel Michael bands together with a group of strangers, though Michael's true focus is to protect a pregnant waitress whose unborn child is humankind's hope for survival.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: I had been looking for buzz on this for the past two weeks, as the trailer looked promising.  Alas, the studio did not release this in advance for critics...which usually means one thing; it stinks.  So the reviews are hitting the wires today, and almost none of them are good.  You want Biblical Apocalypse related films?  Go see "The Book of Eli".  Personally, I want to remember the Archangel Michael as the horny, overweight goofball John Travolta played him as in "Michael".

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The Tooth Fairy

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Ashley Judd, Julie Andrews

Plot: A bad deed on the part of a tough minor-league hockey player (Johnson) results in an unusual sentence: He must serve one week as a real-life tooth fairy.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: What is with The Rock?  He should be playing in movies that used to star Schwarzenegger, Stallone, or Willis...not continually doing these kiddie movies.  Oh, well...I guess he's laughing all the way to the bank.  Good thing this will probably rope in the little ones this weekend, because the critics are not amused.  One interesting note; this script has evidently been around since 1992...and back then they were wanting Ah-nuld the Governator to play the lead.

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Extraordinary Measures

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Harrison Ford,  Keri Russell

Plot: A drama centered on the efforts of a couple to find a researcher to develop a potential cure for their two children's rare genetic disorder.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: First film out of the box for the new CBS Motion Picture Company.  They should have just went ahead and aired it on the Hallmark Channel.  Not sure how much of a heart tugging story it could be where the bottom line is "If you are very, very rich, you can find someone to cure your kids".  Despite the fact that the audience definitely will root for curing the kids, it does send a different message to the "normal" people when faced with this type of dilemma.

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January 26th DVD Releases:

This Is It (Michael Jackson) - Yeah, it really was it for Jacko, as he bit the dust before being able to start on his famous London show.  But fear not for all the moneygrubbers who saw their meal ticket head for the big Amusement Park in the Sky...they taped a lot of his rehearsals, and can now pawn them off here to try to recoup some of their losses.

Surrogates - Bruce Willis as a cop in a world where no one goes out in real life, they all interact though surrogate robots...kind of a mechanical version of the organic avatars in James Cameron's film.  Except that this one doesn't have the other million wonderful special effects, and other than another good performance from Willis, the movie is basically a waste of time.

Saw VI - More torture porn.  Less plot than the last.  No surprises anywhere.

Whip It - Drew Barrymore's directorial debut about a small town Texas girl's attempt to rebel/claim her own identity by joining a women's Roller Derby team.  Ellen Page stars...and appears to play pretty much a non-pregnant version of Juno.

The Boys Are Back - Never released nation-wide, this film once was thought to be something Clive Owen could use for an Oscar nomination as a divorced father forced to raise his two sons after the death of his ex-wife.

Calendar Watch  

Next Week, Edge of Darkness When In Rome

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

The Wolfman - February 12 - Lots of date changes for this remake of the classic horror tale, starring Benicio Del Torro and Anthony Hopkins.  Let's hope that doesn't mean that this is a stinker.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightning Thief - February 12 - The next attempt at establishing a franchise to take over the audience once Harry Potter concludes.  This is about teenage children of the Olympic gods and their adventures.

Shutter Island - February 19 - Martin Scorsese working once again with Leonardo DiCaprio in this mystery set in 1954.  Pushed back from 2009 due to marketing concerns...this still looks like an incredible movie.

Alice in Wonderland - March 5 - Tim Burton and Johnny Depp in a film that seems meant for them.  A 3D acid-trip about Alice's return to Wonderland at age 19 to fight the Red Queen.

Green Zone - March 12 - Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon team up again in a Bourne-like film about an Army officer going rouge in Iraq while looking for weapons of mass destruction.

Clash of the Titans - March 26 - Re-imaging of the campy Harry Hamlin sword-and-sandals film from the 80s.  The trailer looks intriguing, at least

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps - April 23 - Oliver Stone brings Michael Douglass back as Gordon Gecko, teaming him with Shia LaBeouf in a film that looks to be quite different in tone than the last one.

Nightmare on Elm Street - April 30 - Jack Earle Haley ("Watchmen") takes over the Freddy Krueger role.

Iron Man 2 - May 7 - Downey Jr. is back, this time dealing with Whiplash (Mickey Rourke) and Black Widow (Scarlet Johannson).

Robin Hood - May 14 - Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe in what is supposed to be a more "historic" account of the legendary hero.

Shrek Forever After - May 21 - 3D entry into the series that is seemingly the only way Michael Myers or Eddie Murphy can make any money

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - May 28 - Might this finally be the first video game that translates to a huge hit at the box office?  Depends on whether or not you can buy Jake Gyllenhaal as an action hero.  Why not?  It worked for Tobey Maguire, Matt Damon, and Robert Downey Jr.

The A-Team - June 11 - Based on the campy TV series...but the makers of this film are trying to sell it more as an action film with no camp.  With Liam Neeson playing Hannibal Smith as their leader, they may have a chance.

Toy Story 3D - June 18 -  It looks like a big year for 3D films in 2010.  In this one, Buzz, Woody, and the rest of the toys are dumped into a day care after Andy grows up and goes to college.

The Twilight Sage: Eclipse - July 2 - More Wussy Vampires!  I can't wait! (sorry...sarcasmectomy isn't scheduled for a few months yet).

Inception - July 16 - Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page in a Christopher Nolan sci-fi mind bender that looks to be in the mode of "Momento"

The Sorcerer's Apprentice - July 16 - Live action remake of the Disney classic short, starring Nicolas Cage.

Salt - July 18 - Angelina Jolie as a CIA operative accused of being a Russian spy.

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