Written by Mitch Cyrus

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Good-bye, February, and good riddance.  At least there was one good movie that came out of this wasteland of a month, “Shutter Island” (I’ll run my review tomorrow).  And let’s not even talk about the weather.

Hopefully March will be much better outdoors and in the theater.

As a note; next Sunday is Oscar Night…which always means that we turn TheClevelandFan into All-Mitch, All-the-time for a week.  Now I usually run reviews for all of the films nominated for Best Picture (or re-run them in cases where I’ve reported on them earlier).  But this year, there are ten of those suckers, and even I think that might be too much of a good thing (me).  So in the upcoming week, I’m going to run reviews of the four movies that all the experts think will be fighting it out for the title; “Avatar”, “The Hurt Locker”, “Inglourious Basterds”, and “Up in the Air”.  I’ll also rerun “The Blind Side”, simply because I reviewed it back in December.

I’ll touch upon the five members of the “Be Glad You Got Nominated,  Because You Have No Chance of Winning” category (“Up”, “District 9”, “Precious”, “A Serious Man”, and “An Education”) in my Oscar Preview that I’ll run next Sunday morning.

News and Rumors

~ Matt Damon is set to star in a new biographical movie about Robert F. Kennedy.  The movie will cover RFK’s transformation from the little brother in JFK’s shadow to the leader of the Democratic Party up until his assassination in 1968.

~ Ian McShane will be Captain Jack Sparrow’s nemesis in search of the Fountain of Youth in the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie.  The man who was Al Swerengen is in, and Orlando Bloom is out?  How great is that?

~ A few weeks ago I talked about a potential sequel to “Wanted”.  I was a little put off on the fact that they wanted to bring Angelina Jolie back…despite that whole “bullet to the brain” thingy in the first film.  Not to worry, as it’s been dropped entirely as Angelina has decided to star in a space thriller called “Gravity”, co-written and directed by the brillian Alfonso Cuaron (“Children of Men”).

~ I can’t put this in the Stupid Remakes and Sequels section, so can I just call it what it is…a Totally Stupid Idea from a Stupid Man?  Roland Emmerich, the hack behind the sucks-rotten-eggs films “2012” and “10,000 BC” now plans on making “Anonymous” where he will push through the idea that Shakespeare didn’t actually write any of his plays, but they were instead penned by the Earl of Oxford.  Now although I totally sneer at the “scholars” who contest Shakespeare’s authenticity, I can at least understand their viewpoint.  However, my initial hatred of this film has more to do with know how badly he will butcher the script.

~ Both Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman have agreed to co-star with Adam Sandler in “Just Go With It”.  Very few details are available at this time, other than the fact that Kidman will follow in ex-husband Tom Cruise’s “Tropic Thunder” footsteps in an uncredited, out-of-character cameo.  Singer Dave Matthews will also have a role in the film.

~ Liev Schreiber is wanting to star as boxer Chuck Wepner, the “inspiration” for Rocky Balboa.  The film will focus on career punching bag Wepner’s preparation for a 1975 bout in Cleveland (rah!) with Muhammad Ali, one in which Wepner shockingly took to the ninth round.

Stupid Remakes and Sequels

~ Transformers 3…Michael Bay gets to destroy Moscow and Chicago.  Bleh

~ Zoolander 2.  You’ve got to be kidding me.  The only potential for this thing?  The fact that Ben Stiller’s “Tropic Thunder” writer Justin Theroux will pen the screenplay.

This week's new movie releases: 

Cop Out

Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan

Plot:  A comedy about a veteran NYPD cop whose rare baseball card is stolen. Since it's his only hope to pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, he recruits his partner to track down the thief, a memorabilia-obsessed gangster.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan.  That said, I will not cut him any slack when it comes to crappy movies…like “Jersey Girl”.  And this film may be worse than that, as Smith trots out one cliché after another in his attempt to make a cop buddy movie.  The inclusion of Bruce Willis is great.  The inclusion of Tracy Morgan is not.

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The Crazies

Starring: Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Danielle Panabaker

Plot: As a toxin begins to turn the residents of Ogden Marsh, Iowa into violent psychopaths, a sheriff tries to make sense of the situation while he, his wife, and two other unaffected townspeople band together in a fight for survival.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: What a surprise, as this film is getting exceptional reviews.  A loose remake of George Romero’s classic of the same name, It is said to be tense, nicely shot, and uncommonly intelligent.  Not that I personally have any desire to go out and see this kind of gross-out film, but for those of you that are into the horror genre, this looks to be an excellent choice.

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March 2^nd DVD Releases:

2012 – You’ve read all the nasty comments I’ve made about this craptastic movie for a few months now, so it’s time to decide for yourself if this really is the Worst Movie of 2009.  I personally wouldn’t watch this thing again at gunpoint.

Where the Wild Things Are – Imaginative adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s story about Max, the disobedient little boy sent to bed without his supper, where he creates his own world inhabited by ferocious creatures that crown Max as their ruler.  Spike Jonze did a great job with this film, but it didn’t fare well at the box office as it was too adult for children, and the adults were scared off by the thoughts that it was a movie for little kids.

Ponyo – Disney was actually behind this japanimation tale adapting the Hans Christian Andersen tale of the Little Mermaid.  This one actually is for the kids, and they’ll enjoy it.

Calendar Watch  

Next Week, Alice in Wonderland, Brooklyn’s Finest

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

Green Zone – March 12 – Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon team up again in a Bourne-like film about an Army officer going rouge in Iraq while looking for weapons of mass destruction.

Repo Men – March 19 – Jude Law and Forest Whitaker as men specializing in repossessing human organs from people who can’t make their payments..until Law’s character becomes the hunted.

Clash of the Titans – March 26 – Re-imaging of the campy Harry Hamlin sword-and-sandals film from the 80s.  The trailer looks intriguing, at least

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps – April 23 – Oliver Stone brings Michael Douglass back as Gordon Gecko, teaming him with Shia LaBeouf in a film that looks to be quite different in tone than the last one.

Nightmare on Elm Street – April 30 – Jack Earle Haley (“Watchmen”) takes over the Freddy Krueger role.

Iron Man 2 – May 7 – Downey Jr. is back, this time dealing with Whiplash (Mickey Rourke) and Black Widow (Scarlet Johannson).

Robin Hood – May 14 – Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe in what is supposed to be a more “historic” account of the legendary hero.

Shrek Forever After – May 21 – 3D entry into the series that is seemingly the only way Michael Myers or Eddie Murphy can make any money

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time – May 28 – Might this finally be the first video game that translates to a huge hit at the box office?  Depends on whether or not you can buy Jake Gyllenhaal as an action hero.  Why not?  It worked for Tobey Maguire, Matt Damon, and Robert Downey Jr.

The A-Team – June 11 – Based on the campy TV series…but the makers of this film are trying to sell it more as an action film with no camp.  With Liam Neeson playing Hannibal Smith as their leader, they may have a chance.

Toy Story 3D – June 18 -  It looks like a big year for 3D films in 2010.  In this one, Buzz, Woody, and the rest of the toys are dumped into a day care after Andy grows up and goes to college.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – July 2 – More Wussy Vampires!  I can’t wait! (sorry…sarcasmectomy isn’t scheduled for a few months yet).

Inception – July 16 – Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page in a Christopher Nolan sci-fi mind bender that looks to be in the mode of “Momento”

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – July 16 – Live action remake of the Disney classic short, starring Nicolas Cage.

Salt – July 18 – Angelina Jolie as a CIA operative accused of being a Russian spy.