Written by Mitch Cyrus

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And it finally begins.  A quick rundown of the next several weeks, including the “name” movies that I have no particular interest in (cough, cough, “Sex and the City 2”, cough).  As always, a major release every Friday through late July (and in a couple of cases, two major releases in the same week).

May 14 – Robin Hood

May 21 – Shrek Forever After

May 28 – Prince of Persia: Sands of Time

June 4 – Get Him to the Greek & Marmaduke

June 11 – The A-Team

June 18 – Toy Story 3

June 25 – Grown Ups

July 2– The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

July 9 – Predators

July 16 – Inception & The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

July 23 – Salt

My predictions?  “Iron Man 2” will dominate the box office, as well as Shrek and Toy Story due to the kiddies being out of school.  “Eclipse” may be the highest grossing Twilight film as it finally has enough action to drag in the reluctant guys.

“Robin Hood”, “Inception”, and “Predators” will succeed, while I think “Get Him to the Greek” looks to be a sure fire flop.

“Prince of Persia” is the Wild Card.  No movie based on a video game has succeeded, but given that this is being masterminded by Jerry Bruckheimer, the man who was able to turn a movie based on a Disney Ride into a billion dollar franchise (Pirates of the Caribbean, for the two of you who didn’t know)…this could be a huge hit as well.

We’ll see.

Mini Review – The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnasus

Terry Gilliam loves to put out weird movies.  “Time Bandits”, “Brazil”, “The Adventures of Baron von Munchausen”, “Twelve Monkeys”, and “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”, as well as the Monty Python movies.  Needless to say; the man can put out some really good, really strange movies.

Unfortunately, “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnasus” only qualifies as “really strange”.

The biggest problem is by attempting to salvage all of the scenes filmed with Heath Ledger before his untimely death, Gilliam’s movie is disjointed, meandering, and quite often boring.

The film is about the fate of1,000 year old Doctor Parnasus (Christopher Plummer), as he tries to get out of a deal he made with the devil (an excellent Tom Waits) that would see the horned one claim Parnasus’ daughter Valentina (gorgeous model Lily Cole) once she turns 16.  Parnasus has a traveling minstrel show where certain people can step through a mirrored curtain and find themselves in a fantasy world that is part of Parnasus’ mind.

Ledger plays the enigmatic Tony, a man who may be Valentina’s savior, or may be the ruin of them all.  But as it turns out, Ledger had completed filming all of the “real life” scenes at the time of his death, but none of the fantasy scenes, so the story was changed so that each time Tony steps through the mirror, he becomes someone else…which is where Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Ferrell come in.

A great idea on paper, but it just doesn’t come off on film.  Each of the three actors only has the one scene, and the time focusing on the amazing visuals of the fantasy is dwarfed by the time spent on many Ledger scenes that in a normal movie would have wound up on the cutting room floor.

It is interesting to watch for the visuals, but you’ll want to have a laptop handy so you can do some Internet surfing during the many, many boring parts.

My Rating – Derek Anderson (1 football)

News and Rumors

~ Fox Studios will be attempting to do an all-CGI prequel of “Planet of the Apes”.  So why don’t I have this down in the “Stupid Remakes and Sequels” department?  Because I think that this one has a chance, and besides, NOTHING could suck as bad as Tim Burton’s lame 2001 attempt of a remake with Marky Mark.

~ J.J. Abrams has another wild project coming up in the same vein as “Cloverfield”.  “Super 8” is the name of the project, and a trailer is supposed to be playing during “Iron Man 2”, just as “Cloverfield” first started playing as a trailer to “Transformers”.  There are now reports that he will be making this movie with Steven Spielberg, and it does have ties to Area 51, so it’s definitely sci-fi.  Is it maybe a prequel to the monster in “Cloverfield”?  Stay tuned.

~ The “Lost” series finale on May 23 has been expanded to two-and-a-half hours.  My anticipation on this one is about 100 fold greater than my anticipation of the conclusion of “24”.

~ Contrary to my report two weeks ago, Will Smith will be starring in Men In Black III.  I look at it as a chance to undo the damage caused by the mess that was MIB II.

Stupid Remakes and Sequels

~ The next “Fast and Furious” film may have Dwayne Johnson replacing Vin Diesel.  Remember last week when I was complimenting the career decisions made so far by The Rock?  Scratch that if he goes through with this.

~ “Die Hard 5”?  OK, I was pleasantly surprised with how good Die Hard 4 was…but this sounds like one time too many to the well.

This week's new movie releases: 

Iron Man 2

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow, Scarlett Johannsen, Mickey Rourke

Plot :  With the world now aware of his dual life as the armored superhero Iron Man, billionaire inventor Tony Stark faces pressure from the government, the press, and the public to share his technology with the military. Unwilling to let go of his invention, Stark, along with Pepper Potts, and James "Rhodey" Rhodes at his side, must forge new alliances -- and confront powerful enemies.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: This is going to be HUGE.  I’m loving the trailers I’ve seen, as it looks as if they still get it…that Downey Jr.’s smart-assed, self deprecating style is what makes this movie so watchable.  The early returns are very positive, even though many are saying that this isn’t QUITE as good as the first…but very close.  I’ll let you know soon.

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, May 11:

Daybreakers  – Vampires continue to be everywhere, but this one has a twist that makes me want to watch it:  The vampires are the dominant species, and they are running out of the humans that serve as their food.  Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe and Sam Neil form an excellent cast.

Legion  – The horror movie that I don’t want to watch, and was even panned by some people that I know who are normally huge horror fans.  I just don’t get into the whole idea of making angels come across as nothing more than zombies.

Edge of Darkness – A decent, if predictable, return to the screen for Mel Gibson as a Boston detective seeking answers and revenge for the killing of his daughter.

Calendar Watch  

Next Week: Robin Hood, Just Wright, Letters to Juliet

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

Shrek Forever After – May 21 – 3D entry into the series that is seemingly the only way Michael Myers or Eddie Murphy can make any money

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time – May 28 – Might this finally be the first video game that translates to a huge hit at the box office?  Depends on whether or not you can buy Jake Gyllenhaal as an action hero.  Why not?  It worked for Tobey Maguire, Matt Damon, and Robert Downey Jr.

The A-Team – June 11 – Based on the campy TV series…but the makers of this film are trying to sell it more as an action film with no camp.  With Liam Neeson playing Hannibal Smith as their leader, they may have a chance.

Toy Story 3D – June 18 -  It looks like a big year for 3D films in 2010.  In this one, Buzz, Woody, and the rest of the toys are dumped into a day care after Andy grows up and goes to college.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – July 2 – More Wussy Vampires!  I can’t wait! (sorry…sarcasmectomy isn’t scheduled for a few months yet).

Inception – July 16 – Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page in a Christopher Nolan sci-fi mind bender that looks to be in the mode of “Momento”

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – July 16 – Live action remake of the Disney classic short, starring Nicolas Cage.

Salt – July 23 – Angelina Jolie as a CIA operative accused of being a Russian spy.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps – September 24 – Oliver Stone brings Michael Douglass back as Gordon Gecko, teaming him with Shia LaBeouf in a film that looks to be quite different in tone than the last one.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I – November 19 – Part One of the final book about Harry, Hermione, and Ron.  This one (and I’m sure the last one) will be in 3-D.

Tron Legacy – December 17 – Might be the most anticipated Holiday release of this year.