Written by Mitch Cyrus

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Jack Bauer doesn't need to search the internet, he just stares a computer down until it gives him the information he needs.

1 PM – 2 PM

We start out with the press conference praising Charles Logan, and it appears as if Charles likes hearing his name all over the news almost as much as LeBron James.  But he’s not too happy once he gets the call from BeadyEyes Jason who is at the scene where FakeEMTovich was gutted like last night’s trout.

Jack informs Meredith that she has one of two things waiting for her; a Pulitzer Prize or a Dirt Nap, since the call he made involving her now has painted a giant target on her back.  She says that she can trust her editor…who would immediately jump to the top of my “next to die” list (if I were still keeping it at this late of a point).  On the other hand, I’m actually just shocked that Jack could find ANY reporter who still works at a newspaper, and is actually interested in reporting the news about current affairs.  I thought the printed press only existed anymore to stalk Tiger Woods and Lindsay Lohan.

Logan asks President Taylor not-so-Swift if he can talk to her in private, and she gives a look similar to if she had just learned that a dead skunk had been found in the Oval Office.  She looks even worse once he tells her that Meredith probably has the evidence, and that she should user her power to kill the story.  He pushes all the right buttons…but I’m not sure how sharp of a subject he’s manipulating when appealing to her image as a “beacon of righteousness” by advocating that she commits even more crimes.

Allison has some serious buyer’s remorse…and I have about as much sympathy for her as I do any of the Evil Empire Major League Baseball teams (Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, Cubs) when their new $100 million starting pitcher blows out his elbow in Spring Training.

So are the writers actually that smart by tapping into all of the current anti-politician feelings in this country?  No, as that would have required them to have predicted this would be happening a year before it transpired.  And as we’ve seen all year…they aren’t that smart.  Nope…I think they are just setting up the entire government being so anti-Jack that he will have to leave the country.

And what a coincidence!  Everyone connected with “24” says that the movie that will come out in a couple of years will be set in Europe.  The wheels; they are in motion.

Chloe and Arlo have found Mr. Blonde…who was supposed to be dead (only Michael Madsen’s career).  Which makes the odds really high that his character soon will be dead in real life.  Mr. Blonde’s not happy to find out that Jack is chasing Logan…but f course he helps him by taking about 14 milliseconds to hack into the U.S. Secret Services’ system and trace his route.  Mr. Blonde worries that Jack is heading down a path where “there ain’t no coming back from”.

“I wasn’t planning on coming back from it”, was Jack’s response.  Again, this might lead us to think that he’s about to kamikaze it…and we should probably believe that Jack THINKS that right now…but what we’ve really just seen is another step towards (another) exile. 

Remember last week when I said that the best thing of the episode was that we barely saw the President?  Not so lucky this week.  This time, she asks her Chief of Homeland Security Wild Tim Woods to illegally have the FBI search Meredith’s home, work, and person.  Wild Tim agrees, but he doesn’t look too happy either.  And isn’t it nice to know that there are some people here who are at least “bothered” by the fact that they are continuing to use the Constitution as toilet paper?  I’m waiting to see if the “Pouty Face of Disapproval” defense will work once he’s subpoenaed.

Logan calls up Douchebagovich, who is freaking out just a little bitty bit after seeing the video of the gutless wonder (literally) who killed Renee.  Logan assures him that everything will be just fine, in that smarmy, condescending tone that is going to make it so much more fun when Jack gets a hold of him.

Which doesn’t take long to happen.  I had to rewind the DVR three times to get my fill of entertainment from seeing Logan’s  face when he witnesses Jack walking down the street in his Iron Man get up, shooting tires out everywhere to create a traffic jam in the underpass where Logan’s limo now sits helpless.

“THAT’S JACK BAUER!!!!” Logan nearly cries as he sees him walking up.  All three of the agents hear that name, and immediately pee themselves.  Fortunately for them, Jack just does what he usually does to law enforcement agents in his way, but not guilty of any wrong doing…he just wings them, disarms them, and then knocks them out.

Great bit where Jack walks right up to Logan’s window and stares in there through his Iron Man mask, which makes Logan cry like a little girl, “kill him!”  No such luck, as Jack manages to use his big-assed gun enough to open a hole in the windshield, through which he drops a gas canister.  Of course Logan is too stupid to follow orders and “stay in the car”, so he gets out…and is now Jack’s prisoner.

I’ve got to say that this was my favorite five minute scene I may have ever watched on “24”.  Certainly the best in the last three seasons.  And give Gregory Itzen a lot of credit, as his facial expressions and whining throughout made it that much more special.

GIMME THAT NAME!!!!

The awesomeness of this episode keeps chugging along as Logan becomes the most enjoyable person ever at the wrong end of Jack’s throat clutching.  Of course, Logan sings like a canary…and you’ve got to guess that Jack probably also has a tape recorder in his Tony Stark suit, as Logan admits his part in the cover-up, and sends Douchebagovich down the river.  And now that Jack’s done with Logan, we get to see what I believe is the first use of Jack’s super-powered Sleeper Hold this year…although part of me really was hoping that he’d go ahead and kill him.

Chloe realizes that Jack needs some help; but who can she call on?  Oh…maybe that crappy actor that’s locked up in holding right now.  She’s able to spring Cole, and he’s all onboard joining Team Jack…although his first duty might be his last…tracking down Mr. Blonde.

Everyone else is still focusing on Finding Jack.  It shouldn’t really be that hard…just follow the trail of dead Russians…although one did manage to stab Jack.  And it looks to be in that same spot that Renee stabbed him something like 14 hours ago.  Luckily, he had completely healed of that wound by this time.

I was wondering who Meredith would call when she was told by her editor to “lay low”…and nothing like calling the daughter and wife of the man you were having an affair with.  “Mrs. Edwards?  A Rielle Hunter on line 2.”  Brilliant!  She does spill the beans to Kayla before being arrested by the FBI Goon Squad, which might just set up a cool cat fight next week between Lady McBathist and President Taylor-not-so-Swift.

Logan tells BeadyEyes that Jack now knows about Douchebagovich.  Jason tries to call the Russian dignitary, but all we see are dead Russians strewn all about the suite (OK…one was still crawling about, but I’m assuming he’s bleeding out), including Douchebagovich with a fireplace iron rammed through his stomach.  Nice touch…surprised we didn’t get to see it happen in “real time”.

Yep…our boy has taken this a bit on the personal side.

Which may not yet be sated…as Logan calls the Russian President Sukarov…and we find out that Douchebagovich was operating under HIS authority…including the killing of Renee.

Yeah!  More Russians to kill!  Since Jack had planted a bug on Logan, and has just heard the entire conversation.

Final Thoughts

Last week in an email, Column fan James made an observation about Jack going all Keyser Soze on us.  I thought it was a decent analogy, but not yet totally appropriate as Jack wasn’t quite so over-the-top…and the fact that according to the Legend; Keyser Soze actually killed his own family who were being threatened by rival gangsters, to remove the possibility of them being threatened ever again…afterwards he went on a sickeningly bloody rampage.

I think that after the end of last week’s episode with FakeEMTovich, and the entirely of this episode; we can now say that Jack’s actions would scare the begeezus out of Keyser Soze.

Two hour finale next week.  And I have to say that I’m actually looking forward to it…for more than just the obvious (finally getting this season behind us).  I especially like the look of pure evil Jack seems to have on his face as it looks like he’s about to pull the trigger on his sniper rifle.  Smart money would be on him killing Sukarov…but you can’t tell now; which is a vast improvement over what we’ve seen most of this season.

Bauer Body Count

37.  It’s been an up and down year for Jack, but I’m getting the feeling that it will at least hit the magic 40 mark by the end of next week’s finale.