Written by Mitch Cyrus

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What a contradiction of terms in regards to the two major releases coming out today.  One is the most critically praised movies I have ever seen, and it looks already to be an instant classic.  The other is being totally trashed, and may fall off the planet faster than “MacGruber”.

Mini Review  - Whip It

I’m not sure what it really is saying about me that I’m doing a mini review of a “chick-flick” two weeks in a row.  I blame it mostly on the fact that my lovely wife finally brought me into the 21^st century by buying me a Blu-Ray player for our wedding anniversary this week, so I’ve been busy re-watching action adventure classics that look great on Blu-Ray (“Avatar”, “IronMan”, “300”), and therefore haven’t had much time for anything else.

So I go back to this film that I watched a few weeks ago.  I wanted to see this film as it was the first starring role for Ellen Page after her breakout role in “Juno”, as well as the directorial debut of Drew Barrymore.

Bottom line:  If you really, really liked “Juno”, you will probably enjoy watching this movie, even though the character is really nothing more than Juno McGuff in Texas.  Here, she plays a wise-cracking teen whose mother pushes her into beauty contests, even though her personality is much more alternative (“alternative to what?” is her perfect question after being asked that).  Looking for her place in life, she is changed when she sees a group of roller derby girls, all tattooed and badass, skating into a local shop.

Simple plot…she joins up, finds acceptance with the odd ball characters, finds a romantic interest, and finds out a lot about herself.

The action sequences are good, the chemistry is excellent, and Drew Barrymore does an admirable job, even if the script is very, very predictable.

If you weren’t that big of a fan of “Juno”…stay away from this movie…you’ll hate it.

My Rating – Bill Nelsen (2 ½ footballs)

News and Rumors

~ We’ve already seen that video games do not translate well into films.  So how about a board game?  Peter Berg (“The Kingdom”, “Hancock”) is going to direct “Battleship”, a big budget action/adventure sci-fi film that will introduce aliens into the mix as an international fleet bands together to battle a water bound armada of unknown origins.  Starring in the film will be Alexander Skarsgard, best known as the Viking vampire Eric in “True Blood”, and Taylor Kitsch, from “Friday Night Lights”.  Will “Shoots and Ladders: The Movie” be far behind?

~ Another graphic novel will be coming to the screen with a very big name attached.  Ron Howard is going to be directing “Legends”, a movie that will bring together childhood characters such as Red Riding Hood, Jack the Giant Killer, and Hansel & Gretel in a dark fantasy setting.  How dark?  Red is a goth wolf hunter, Goldilocks is a mercenary, and Hansel & Gretel are psychic exterminators.  Color me intriqued.

~ Now this would be the casting coupe of the decade if this comes through.  Tom Tykwer wants to make a movie of the critically acclaimed David Mitchell novel “Cloud Atlas”, a compilation of six intertwined stories covering literally thousands of years, and written in a different style for each story.  The cast approached for this:  Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Natalie Portman, Ian McKellen, and James McAvoy.

~ TV note; Tommy Lee is set for to be in a character arc for several episodes of “Californication”

~ Coolest title since “Snakes on a Plane”?  “Girls, Guns, and Gambling”.  Since it’s starring Gary Oldman and Christian Slater, I’ll consider it as a possibility.

Stupid Remakes and Sequels

~ This week, we learn that there is a 3-D remake of “Plan 9 From Outer Space” on the drawing boards.  How they could improve on Ed Wood’s “classic” 1959 film is beyond me.

~ I’ve already made mention in this spot about a planned “Wanted” sequel.  It doesn’t get any better when I read that they are looking at Kristen Stewart to star in it.

This week's new movie releases: 

Toy Story 3

Starring: The voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen and Joan Cusack

Plot :  Woody, Buzz, and the rest of their toy-box friends are dumped in a day-care center after their owner, Andy, departs for college.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: As of 3 PM today (Friday), there are 125 reviews of this film on Rottentomatoes.  Every single one of them is positive.  I’ve never seen this before, but that’s how positive the buzz is about this movie.  Pixar ALWAYS makes great films, and it looks like they’ve struck gold again.  More than likely, this will be the box office champion of 2010 as well, and a movie that I’m very much looking forward to seeing.

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Jonah Hex

Starring: Josh Brolin, Megan Fox, John Malkovich

Plot : The U.S. military gives bounty hunter Jonah Hex an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom from the warrants on his head, he's to take down a terrorist who is gathering an army and preparing to unleash Hell on Earth.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: This one is getting just the opposite of the reception seen by “Toy Story 3”…it wasn’t released to critics until today, and they are letting this stinker have it.  Even the previews look horrible, and show off the fact that Megan Fox might be the worst actress on the planet.  What I find most amazing is that this movie was trimmed down to only 82 minutes.  Which really makes me wonder how truly crappy the stuff was that they edited out.  I doubt this movie makes $20 million total at the box office.

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New DVD Releases for Tuesday, June 22:

Green Zone  – This was the movie that the studios allowed Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon to make in hope of getting them both to return for another Jason Bourne movie.  For this one?  Despite how they tried to market it, it is NOT a Bourne movie, with Damon playing a straight and narrow Army specialist trying to track down WMDs in Iraq shortly after Saddam was overthrown.  Not a horrible movie, but not that good, either.

Remember Me  – Sappy attempt to go after fans of “Twilight” and “The Notebook”, with Robert Pattinson and “Lost’s” Emilie De Ravin as star crossed lovers.  Be warned; there is a twist at the end of this that left most movie goers ticked off as it was considered a complete cheat.

She’s Out of My League – Loser scores a hottie, and none of his friends or family can figure it out.  And that’s all there really is to this film.

Calendar Watch  

Next Week: Knight & Day, Grown Ups

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – July 2 – More Wussy Vampires!  I can’t wait! (sorry…sarcasmectomy isn’t scheduled for a few months yet).

The Last Airbender – July 2 – Can M. Knight Shyamalan continue his downward spiral of suck?  Or will this be the start of a redemption for him?

Predators – July 9 – Re-booting of the original Ah-nuld franchise.  Looks to be intriguing.

Inception – July 16 – Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page in a Christopher Nolan sci-fi mind bender that looks to be in the mode of “Momento”

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – July 16 – Live action remake of the Disney classic short, starring Nicolas Cage.

Salt – July 23 – Angelina Jolie as a CIA operative accused of being a Russian spy.

Eat Pray Love – August 13 – Julia Roberts in this critically acclaimed ultimate chick-flick about a newly divorced woman’s journey of self-enlightenment.  Guys…get ready to get drug to this one.

The Expendables – August 13 – Sylvester Stallone, Jason Stratham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Randy Couture, and Steve Austin in a movie about mercenaries.  With appearances from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.  What more could any guy ask for?  

The American – September 1 –George Clooney as an assassin hiding out in an Italian village awaiting what he hopes is his last job.

Machete – September 3 – Yes, they made a full length film from the “trailer” shown in “Grindhouse” with Danny Trejo as the revenge minded blade wielder.

The Adjustment Bureau – September 17 – Matt Damon in a mind bender about a politician falling for a ballerina (Emily Blunt), only to be stymied by mysterious forces keeping the would-be lovers apart.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps – September 24 – Oliver Stone brings Michael Douglass back as Gordon Gecko, teaming him with Shia LaBeouf in a film that looks to be quite different in tone than the last one.

Secretariat – October 8 – Diane Lane in the story of possibly the greatest race horse ever.  Could this be another “Seabiscuit”?

Red – October 15 – Another Bruce Willis action vehicle.  This time he is a former black ops agent reassembling his old team to thwart an attack from a high-tech assassin.

Hereafter – October 22 – Clint Eastwood directs a supernatural thriller with Matt Damon.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I – November 19 – Part One of the final book about Harry, Hermione, and Ron.  This one (and I’m sure the last one) will be in 3-D.

Red Dawn – November 25 – Yes, they actually remade this semi-classic.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – December 10 – Third tale of the series…some people (like my wife) are still looking forward to it.

Tron Legacy – December 17 – Might be the most anticipated Holiday release of this year.

Gulliver’s Travels – December 22 – Jack Black takes on the iconic role.

True Grit – December 25 – The Coen Brothers remake the iconic John Wayne movie with Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon.