Written by Mitch Cyrus

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Macho weekend coming up.  The Browns start their preseason games tomorrow night, and Sylvester Stallone and every action hero not named Seagal or Van Damme appearing in “The Expendables”

Mini Review - “Kick-Ass”

In his third feature as a director, Brit Matthew Vaughn has done an excellent job in channeling Quentin Tarantino in the wickedly snarky comic book satire “Kick-Ass”.  It is disturbingly violent, vulgar, and at times borderline perverted; but it is also very original, quite funny, and completely entertaining.

Aaron Johnson stars as the geeky high school kid who decides to dress up in a garish wet-suit and start fighting crime despite having no real skills whatsoever…with the first results being exactly what one would expect to happen in real life if this were to occur.  But for the love of the class hottie, young Dave Lizewski pushes on, and then manages to go viral when his attempts to break up a three on one gang beat down is captured by a video camera.

Unknown to Dave is that a slightly deranged ex-cop (Nicolas Cage) has been doing some real life vigilante work of his own against a drug lord (Mark Strong, evidently the only man in Hollywood now allowed to portray bad guys).  Big Daddy, his alias, is much more Wolverine than Batman, however, as he and his 11 year old daughter, Hit Girl, are more about killing than they are capturing.

That’s right; I said there was an 11 year old girl racking up a body count that would make Stallone proud, and she’s the most cold blooded efficient killer since Uma Thurman played The Bride in “Kill Bill”.  Chloe Moretz plays the foul mouthed little cutie extremely well, so much that it will certainly bug you at one level or another.  If you ever wonder what would have happened if Mathilda had convinced Leon to allow her to go on hits with him, watch this and you’ll know.

But the bottom line is that this is all intentionally over the top.  It is a sharp satire of our fascination with comic book heroes, our “everything is recorded” online obsession with “reality”, as well as a cute send up of the typical “geeky boy tries to get hot girl” films that are so prevalent.  You even get “Superbad’s” McLovin, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, as another “superhero” called “Red Mist”, in all his dorky glory.

This movie is definitely not for everyone…especially for the anal retentive that can’t get past the satire.  But I certainly enjoyed it.

My Rating – Frank Ryan (3 Footballs)

News and Rumors

~ Warner Brothers is looking to do a live action/CGI film of one of its most iconic stars: Bugs Bunny.  George Lucas is reported to be working on the project as well.  Let’s hope they go with the early version of Bugs, who was the epitome of the wise-cracking, irrelevant and satirical character we all loved as kids.  One positive; “Elf” writer David Berenbaum has been hired to create the script.

~ Kevin Smith is going to be directing a horror movie next.  “Red State” will reportedly have Michael Parks in the villain’s role as a diabolical evangelical preacher in the vein of Fred Phelps, the disgusting piece of human excrement from the Westboro Baptist Church who pickets the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq or Afghanistan.  Also in the film will be Mellisa Leo, Dermot Mulroney and Steven Root.

~ Ben Affleck will be replacing Christian Bale in Terrence Malick’s new film “The Tree of Life”.  Not much is known yet of the reclusive Malick’s latest work.  The famous “Badlands” director once went 20 years between films before directing 1998’s “The Thin Red Line”.  Hopefully this will be better than his last movie, “The New World”.  Rachel Weisz, Rachel McAdams, Javier Bardem and Olga Kurylenko will also appear.

~ James Brooks will see if he can recreate the magic he once showed with such films as “Terms of Endearment” and “Broadcast News”.  Brooks will once again tap Jack Nicholson for a key role in “How Do You Know”, a dramatic romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd as a two people battling all kinds of other issues while falling for one another.  Owen Wilson also has a major role as a Witherspoon’s on-again, off-again boyfriend, a professional baseball player for the Nationals.

Stupid Remakes and Sequels

~ Another John Belushi biography?  Evidently yes, as the scriptwriter behind “The Pursuit of Happyness” is said to be developing the script.

~ “Night at the Museum 3”.  After finally catching the second movie earlier this week on HBO, all I can say is “why”?  I actually liked the first film, but the second was a horrible rehash.  I can’t see how the third could be anything more than another lazy check for Ben Stiller.

This week's new movie releases: 

The Expendables

Starring: Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Stratham, Rourke, Li, Lundgren, Austin, Crews, Couture.

Plot :  The fearless Barney Ross (Stallone) leads a team of mercenaries on a mission to South America, where their objective -- to overthrow a ruthless dictator -- is more dangerous than the men realize..

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: This one is critic-proof.  You get this many action stars together, and there is no way that it’s not going to be watchable.  It’s running about 50% positive on Rottentomatoes, which is about the best that I would have expected from this type of movie, given the almost certain negative opinions of the snobs…of which I’m definitely not one.  The last several weeks have not given me anything that’s made me WANT to go out to the movies (plus the fact that my schedule has been brutal).  But I’ll get back into the swing of things by reviewing this early next week.

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Scott Pilgrim Vs the World

Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin

Plot : Layabout musician Scott Pilgrim falls for the new girl in town, Ramona Flowers), but in order to win her heart, he must defeat her seven evil ex-lovers.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Very positive early buzz on this film, which looks to be the type of movie that Terry Gilliam SHOULD make; Whacked out fantasy that doesn’t make you go “WTH????”.  However, I don’t think the studio really knows what it has here, and the marketing for this has been horrible.  Unless it gets great word of mouth, this unfortunately seems destined to be a flop.

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Eat, Pray, Love

Starring: Julia Roberts, Javier Bardem, Viola Davis

Plot : While trying to get pregnant, a happily married woman realizes her life needs to go in a different direction, and after a painful divorce, she takes off on a round-the-world journey.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Stare, Yawn, Sleep.  The Ultimate Chick Flick that no man should be forced to attend.  This thing is getting killed by critics as a hopeless bore, and I’m contemplating expensive jewelry to use as an enticement to my wife for NOT making us go.

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New DVD Releases

Fury Vengence  – Brenan Frasier being attacked by a bunch of pissed off animals from the woods that he wants to tear down for a development.  An absolutely horrible movie that is not fit for kids or adults.

The Last Song  – A coming of age story starring Miley Cyrus.  That should tell you all you need to know.

Calendar Watch  

Next Week: Lottery Ticket, Nanny McPhee Returns, The Switch, Piranha 3D, Vampires Suck

Upcoming Biggies (click on the hyperlink to view the available trailers).

The American – September 1 –George Clooney as an assassin hiding out in an Italian village awaiting what he hopes is his last job.

Machete – September 3 – Yes, they made a full length film from the “trailer” shown in “Grindhouse” with Danny Trejo as the revenge minded blade wielder.

The Town – September 17 – Ben Affleck as a bank robber falling for one of his victims, played by Rebecca Hall.  Meanwhile, an FBI agent (Jon Hamm) has eyes on both of them.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps – September 24 – Oliver Stone brings Michael Douglass back as Gordon Gecko, teaming him with Shia LaBeouf in a film that looks to be quite different in tone than the last one.

Secretariat – October 8 – Diane Lane in the story of possibly the greatest race horse ever.  Could this be another “Seabiscuit”?

Red – October 15 – Another Bruce Willis action vehicle.  This time he is a former black ops agent reassembling his old team to thwart an attack from a high-tech assassin.

Hereafter – October 22 – Clint Eastwood directs a supernatural thriller with Matt Damon.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I – November 19 – Part One of the final book about Harry, Hermione, and Ron.  This one (and I’m sure the last one) will be in 3-D.

Red Dawn – November 25 – Yes, they actually remade this semi-classic.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – December 10 – Third tale of the series…some people (like my wife) are still looking forward to it.

Tron Legacy – December 17 – Might be the most anticipated Holiday release of this year.

Gulliver’s Travels – December 22 – Jack Black takes on the iconic role.

True Grit – December 25 – The Coen Brothers remake the iconic John Wayne movie with Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon.

The Green Hornet – January 14 – Seth Rogan in a completely different take on the old radio/TV show.

The Adjustment Bureau – March, 2011 – Matt Damon in a mind bender about a politician falling for a ballerina (Emily Blunt), only to be stymied by mysterious forces keeping the would-be lovers apart.