The Cleveland Fan on Facebook

The Cleveland Fan on Twitter
Misc Movies/TV Movies Archive Crystal Ball - June Releases
Written by Mitch Cyrus

Mitch Cyrus


The Summer Season has stumbled a bit out of the blocks, but it looks to possibly heat up this month.


Or not.

We have a boatload of superhero movies and sequels coming out this month, so it has just as much chance as not of being as tepid as May.

News and Rumors


~ A Tarzan trilogy?  If you say so.  “Hustle & Flow” writer/director Craig Brewster has been hired by Warner Bros. to write and direct a rebooting of the old warhorse series.  After “George of the Jungle”, I thought this genre was dead.


~ Speaking of remakes, Hailee Steinfeld, the young actress who had such a brilliant debut in the remake of “True Grit”, may be playing the title role in the remake of “Carrie”.  Being that Hailee is 14 years old, don’t expect it to be exactly like the original (the onscreen nudity from Sissy Spacek).  Supposedly Megan Fox was lobbying for the role.  Yeah…like that’s going to happen.


~ George Lucas says he has “50 hours of Star Wars TV script ready”.  Which is exactly 50 hours more than the scripts he had for the last three “prequels” that were on the big screen.

~ Sam Raimi will be directing a Disney movie.  That’s weird enough right there.  Then we get REALLY weird, as the movie is “Oz: The Great & Powerful”.  It will star James Franco as a charismatic circus magician who gets blown off course into Oz, where the townfolk want him to eradicate a Wicked Witch and bring peace.  Mila Kunis will play the witch Theodora, Michelle Williams will play Glinda, and Rachel Weisz will be the witch Evanora.


~ Writers have been hired for “Yogi Bear 2”.  Too bad they didn’t think of this step for the first one.

~ Armie Hammer has been selected as the “title” character in “The Lone Ranger” (last month it was reported that Ryan Gosling was in talks for the role).  While Hammer was excellent as the Vinklevoss twins in “The Social Network”, he’s not THAT great.  So this is a sign to me that Tim Burton is making a Tonto movie (Johnny Depp) that will have the Lone Ranger as a minor player.

~ Seth MacFarlane, the genius behind “Family Guy” is going to put his reputation at risk in a reboot of “The Flintstones”.  This will not end well.

~ You’ve got to go check out the first trailer from “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”.  I’ve quickly been converted from being skeptical of any chance of this film being anywhere near as good as the Swedish version to now being put in the “Can’t Wait for It” column.  I love the tag line “The Feel Bad Movie For Christmas”.


~ Ending on a high note, Michael Mann has been hired to direct the historic epic “Agincourt”.  The movie will be an adaptation of the Bernard Cornwell novel that retells the famous battle between King Henry V’s army against the vastly superior numbers of the French army.


June New Movie Releases

Movies That I’m Anticipating

X-Men: First Class

June 3

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence

Plot :  Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr are two young men discovering their powers. Banding together with fellow mutants to stop a threat to the world, a rift grows between the two forces, leading to the founding of Professor X's X-Men and Magneto's Brotherhood, and the beginning of their eternal war.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Very positive early buzz for this film, which is desperately needed after the third X-Men movie and the Wolverine “prequel” fell so flat.  As a huge fan of the first two films, I’m looking forward to seeing this franchise get back on its feet.  I’ll let you know shortly.


Super 8

June 10

Starring: Elle Fanning, Amanda Michalka, Kyle Chander

Plot :  Ohio, 1979: when kids shooting a super 8 movie witness a train crash, their shock soon turns to feelings of suspicion and horror after disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Gotta like the Ohio connection, as well as the teaming of J.J. Abrams as director and Steven Spielberg as producer.  The only thing that concerns me at this point is that the trailers are making this look a little too much like “Cloverfield”.  I’m hoping that it’s much more than what we saw in that very gimmicky (albeit interesting) monster film.


Green Lantern

June 17

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard

Plot :  When he's granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, test pilot Hal Jordan becomes the first human to earn membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe. His mission: to combat an enemy called Parallax, which threatens to destroy the universe's balance of power.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: I first hated this concept, but it has grown on me.  On the other hand, I’m in the minority in that regard as this film is being questioned by the critics as to whether or not it can find any audience beyond the fanboys.  Some comparisons are already being made to “Fantastic Four”, and I just hope it doesn’t suck that much.


Movies That Might Be OK

Mr. Popper’s Penguins

June 17

Starring: Jim Carrey, Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury

Plot :  After businessman Mr. Popper receives a penguin as a gift, he soon finds himself the caretaker of five more of the seabirds, and he subsequently changes his life and home to accommodate his new charges.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Quite the beloved kids book, it will be interesting to see the adaptations to Carrey’s manic personality.  To me; it looks like it’s more in the same category of “Mrs. Doubtfire” crossed with “Liar, Liar”, crossed with “Dr. Doolittle”.  Still, it’s got to be better for a parent to get drug to this than to “Judy Moody”.


Cars 2

June 24

Starring: Voices of Owen Wilson, Micheal Caine, Larry the Cable Guy

Plot : Lightning McQueen, pit boss Mater, and the rest of Lightning's crew enter the Race of Champions, a multi-national event taking place in Japan, Germany, Italy, France, and England.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: That’s right; I have a Pixar film listed in the “Might Be OK” category.  Why?  Because unlike “Toy Story 3”, this one just smacks of selling out for commercialism.  Face it; the first movie WAS all about the merchandising, which has never been the case for a Pixar movie before or after that.  Even with that trepidation, expect this film to be at or near the top box office draw for 2011.


Movies That Aren’t Worth Wasting Your Time

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer

June 10

Starring: Jordana Beatty, Heather Graham, Parris Mosteller

Plot :  When her parents take an unexpected trip to California, third-grader Judy Moody creates a series of dares in order to have the most thrilling summer of her life. Her way-cool Aunt Opal and little brother Stink join in the adventures.

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: It’s a movie about third grade girls…which means that some of you poor saps are going to get drug there by your 7 – 11 year old daughters.  If it wasn’t for the fact that most of you would have to drive home, I’d recommend smuggling in a flask of rum and mixing it with YOUR Coke.


Bad Teacher

June 24

Starring:  Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake

Plot:  Dumped by her sugar daddy, an unsaintly schoolteacher targets one of her colleagues as her next lover -- a plan that pits her against a popular co-worker

View Trailer

The BeerBuzz: Trying for a female version of “Bad Santa” is what this looks like.  But given that the writing team behind this also penned the utterly awful “Year One”, I’m not optimistic on this thing being anything else than a bomb.


New DVD/Pay-Per-View Releases

As mentioned in previous columns, these dates are when the movies are released to be purchased as DVDs, or released for DirecTV/Cable/Dish Network Pay-Per-Views.  The actual release to Netflix or Blockbuster may be as much as 28 days later.


True Grit – June 7 The Coen Brothers remake of the classic John Wayne film is simply one of the best films of the year…and in my opinion better than the original as it stuck more to the book.

Battle: Los Angeles – June 14 – ‘Independence Day’ without the aliens having the super nasty “Primary Weapon” capable of wiping out entire cities in 10 seconds.

Hall Pass – June 14 Stupid movie from a Judd Apatow wannabe about some loser men given permission by their wives to have an affair with someone else; provided anyone would WANT to screw them.

Red Riding Hood – June 14 I thought that a horror/adult adaptation of the old tale twisted into a werewolf movie might be interesting.  But as directed by the woman who did the first “Twilight” film, it’s nothing but a Bella rip-off.

The Adjustment Bureau – June 21 -  Sorry that I missed this one at the theater.  One of three interesting sci-fi type flicks to come out this spring (“Limitless” and “Source Code” being the others).

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules – June 21  Didn’t see the first one; won’t waste time with the second.

The Warrior’s Way – June 28  I think this film set a record for the lowest grossing film ever to be released to over 1,500 screens.


Calendar Watch

High profile movies coming to a screen near you in 2011.

Trailers available wherever you see a hyperlink.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon – July 1 – Please don’t let this be as crappy as the last one.

Larry Crowne – July 1 – Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in a comedy about a middle-aged man going back to community college after losing his job, and falling for a local teacher.

Horrible Bosses – July 8 – Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, and Colin Farrell playing bosses so evil that three schleps working for them conspire with Jamie Foxx to kill them all.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 – July 15 – The End finally comes to this great franchise.

Captain America: The First Avenger – July 22 – Chris Evans, who played the Human Torch in the awful “Fantastic Four” movies, now becomes the famed WWII hero. Oh well…since Marvel Comics killed off the Torch a few months back, he needs a new gig.

Cowboys and Aliens – July 29 – Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig as cowboys teaming with Indians to fight aliens in the 19th Century Old West.  And Craig has a mysterious high tech blaster attached to his left arm.  And he has no idea how it got there!  I am SO there for this one.

The Smurfs – July 29 – Just shoot me now.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Aug. 5 – James Franco as the experimental scientist who creates Caesar, the first talking chimpanzee, kicking off the whole “Planet of the Apes” thing.

Conan the Barbarian­Aug. 19 – Another remake from the 80s that we’ll probably wish hadn’t been done.

Moneyball – Sept 23 – Brad Pitt as Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane.  I really have no idea how this book could be turned into a movie worth watching, but we’ll see.

Real Steel – Oct. 7 – Hugh Jackman as a manager/controller of real life, 10 foot tall Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.

Footloose – Oct. 14 – Pushed back from 2010.  We can only hope it gets pushed back to 3010.

The Three Musketeers – Oct. 14 – Another remake, but this one with Brits Matthew Macfadyen (“MI-5”), Ray Stevenson (“Rome”), and Luke Evans as the main three, with young Logan Lerman (“Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief”) as D’Artagnan.  Also with Christoph Waltz, Milla Jovovich and Orlando Bloom.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 – Nov. 18 – Only two more of these awful movies to go.

Hugo Cabret – Dec. 9 – Martin Scorsese directs the story of a 1930s orphan living in the walls of a train station.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – Dec. 12 – English version of the outstanding Swedish film with Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. 

Mission Impossible 4 – Dec. 16 – Tom Cruise sets the stage for Jeremy Renner taking over the role of the leader of the IMF for future movies.  Well played, Tom.

Sherlock Holmes 2 – Dec. 16 – Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, and director Guy Ritchie make another run at it.

The Adventures of Tintin – Dec. 23 – Steven Spielberg takes on the classic French tale, using motion capture animation.


The TCF Forums

Get DirectSatTV to follow your favorite Cavs action.