Written by David Regimbal

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If you’re a sports fan, you’ve likely had a couple screws knocked loose during the duration of your fanhood. There’s no shame in that, to be honest. We’ve all had our moments experiencing the wrong end of a buzzer beater, last second touchdown drive or ninth inning meltdown. And if clicking those links set off a chain reaction that led to you pissing your pants in rage, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

On a personal level, I’ve experienced so much heart break over the years that I’ve gone a little... sideways in my thinking. The highs and lows of my sports life go beyond the cliche comparison of a “roller coaster” -- it’s more like being strapped to the bird Ray Lewis rode in his Old Spice commercials and racing through the deep, winding corners of Bernie Kosar’s mind... blindfolded. The human brain wasn’t made to handle the pressures I’ve put on it, and that has resulted in... well, this:

The Split Personality Round Table will be a weekly column where I let my split personalities argue about sports topics. During the college football season -- I will argue about Ohio State football. During the offseason, I will write about whatever sets my personalities off.

It’s a healthy way for me to get my condition out in the open -- where I can let the optimist in me argue with the pessimist. Each personality will have a profile that you can click on and read about -- kind of like a psychotic baseball card where you can look at a picture, stats, history, etc...

You’re probably just as eager as I am to get this started, so let’s stop procrastinating. I know that somewhere, my therapist is both excited and terrified right now.

Debate Topic: The Ohio State University just experienced one of the worst offseasons in its history. With actual football just a few days away, do you think the Buckeyes can leave the drama behind and continue its dominance on the field?

Figz (The Optimist)  Of course they will. Despite the turmoil our favorite program has experienced this summer, I actually found it humorous how nearly everyone has forgotten how good Ohio State should be this year. I mean, come on Sports Illustrated. Really? Nebraska is the new bully in town? The same team that lost to freaking Washington the last time they were on the field? I think the Old Bully might have something to say about this.

Think about it -- did anything that happened this summer change the fact that Ohio State has run circles around the rest of the conference in the recruiting world (Nebraska included) from 2007-2010? Did the loss of Tressel as a head coach automatically disable these players from performing to the ability that had everyone excited about this team pre-Tressel’s resig-tirement? I realize that Pryor is gone and three other key starters will be benched for the first five games, but when the thick of the Big Ten race takes place, our team will have more talent to put on the field than any other team in the conference.

Yes, the Buckeyes will be just as dominant this year as they were in year’s past. I think they’ll harness the hurricane of negativity that came their way this summer and take it out on their opponents. I know losing Tressel is a blow, but I think this team, with the talent he left for Fickell, will want to make a point that this is still Ohio State, and much like '02, the Buckeyes will use a strong running game and a solid defense to bring home a Big Ten championship.

Swisher (The Pessimist)  Did Figz really just predict a Big Ten Championship? Someone told him the Buckeyes are starting Joe Bauserman at QB, right?

I just don’t see it. How does a team continue its dominance when the man who made the program so strong (Tressel) is gone? Are we as fans too blind to see how difficult it is to replace a coach that has accomplished so much? To give you some perspective, West Virginia is still trying to find a successful replacement for Rich Rodriguez, and it has been four years. And also, Rich Rodriguez.

But that’s not even the worst part. The guy who has been asked to replace Jim Tressel has just as much head coaching experience as my three year old nephew. Any hopes of a seamless transition between coaches failed when the Buckeyes pegged Fickell as the guy. Don’t get me wrong, I like Fickell, but he’s in way over his head.

And then there’s the small matter of losing the team’s best player for the season. People liked to complain about Pryor when he was still enrolled, but what most people don’t realize is that he was the heart and soul of the most dominant offense in Ohio State history. The 2010 Buckeyes scored more points last season than any other Ohio State football team, ever. That offense was a buzz-saw that chewed up everyone but Wisconsin. This year, Ohio State will be lucky to reproduce half of that output.

It’s going to be a rough, rough year.

Franky (The Realist)  Come one now, guys, no need to overreact. It’s probably not as bad as Swisher would suggest, and it’s probably not going to be as great as Figz is anticipating. Let me provide the realistic middle ground.

There’s no way around it -- replacing Jim Tressel is very near or next to impossible. The man was in the upper echelon of head football coaches, and their are probably four guys on the planet that can claim they are too (Stoops, Meyer, Saban and Brown). It’s hard to imagine any team losing the caliber of coach Ohio State just lost and not notice a decline. I could be wrong, but I guess we’ll see in the coming weeks.

That doesn’t mean the program will torpedo to Indiana, or even worse, Michigan levels of ineptitude this year or in the years to come. Figz is absolutely right when he says Ohio State has just as much talent, if not more talent than any other Big Ten team. The running back position is as deep and as talented as I’ve ever seen it, even more so than any team during the Tressel era. But the receivers are green and quarterback position is unsettled at best -- so it could take the offense a little while to find its identity. Fortunately, the front end of the schedule will be easy enough to help bring that unit together, and the defense should be hitting on all cylinders from day one.

What I’m saying is -- it won’t be terrible, but I don’t think we’ll be smelling roses at the end of the year. Does a Capital One card have a scent? Cause that’s what I’m smelling.

Debate Topic: Okay, real quick, it’s prediction time. What will Ohio State’s record be after they beat Michigan in November?

Figz  11-1 -- I really don’t see two losses on this schedule.

Swisher  8-4 -- It’s like 2004 all over again.

Franky  9-3 -- With a chance to beat an SEC team for a second consecutive year in a bowl game the first time in a bowl game.
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