Written by Chris Hutchison

---

Hmm.  The new System, HERO (Hutchison Egotistical Rambling Orifice), has netted me a losing record the last two weeks now.  One week, sure, probably just Pagan Gods avenging themselves on me.  But two?  Huh.  Makes you wonder if maybe games can't always be accurately predicted by math.

BT went 9-6 last week, I went 7-8, and DJC went 5-10, so that pulls BT into a season-lead tie with myself at 100-101 and drops our previous leader DJC to 97-104.

OK, HERO, I'm counting on you to help me recapture my rightful place on the throne.  Work your magic, fair number-cruncher.

All odds are from VegasInsider.com:

WAS at CLE +1

Me - My Line: CLE by 0.5.  Not really sure how the Browns got to be home dogs with RG3 highly likely to be shelved.  Cleveland opened at -7 when it looked like Kirk Cousins was destined to make his NFL starting debut, but now that RG3 has practiced a couple times, the money went flying to the Washington side.  Which is assuming that a pocket-bound Griffin will still beat the Cleveland D, a large assumption indeed.  It just seems that America's obsession with RG3 has blinded them to the fact that the rest of the Skins roster is pretty lame.  Pick: Browns

DJC - Pick: Redskins

BT - RG3 will play.  Pick: Redskins

GB at CHI +3

Me - My Line: CHI by 4.  This doesn't seem practical, seeing as Jay Cutler blows against the Packers and the Bears are doing their traditional late-season swoon.  I even considered giving Chicago the QB deduction because of how bad Pouty Jay is against GB.  But that still wouldn't put them as 3 point home dogs.  The Packers are certainly beatable, and I am of the mind that Chicago just needs this game a bit more.  Pick: Bears

DJC - Pick: Packers

BT - Pick: Packers

NYG at ATL -1.5

Me - My Line: ATL by 2.5.  I feel dirty taking the Boids here.  They are like ghosts or vampires or angels.  Meaning I don't believe in them.  Matt Ryan is the kind of guy that's good enough to get you to the Playoffs each year, but not good enough to do much from there.  They have 2 really good WR's, but if you put enough pressure on the QB (which the Giants can do), it won't matter.  I am definitely going against my better judgment on this one.  Pick: Falcons

DJC - Pick: Falcons

BT - Not a Falcon believer.  Pick: GMen

TB at NO -3.5

Me - My Line: TB by 1.  Man, the Bucs get no respect.  No respect, I tell ya.  Of course, Tampa did lose at home last week to a pathetic Eagles team, but, hey, the Saints lost to Kansas City.  Drew Brees is starting to look mortal.  Pick: Buccaneers

DJC - Pick: Saints

BT - Pick: Saints

MIN at STL -3

Me - My Line: STL by 2.5.  The Rams' D is very underrated, and if they manage to stop RoboBack (Adrian Peterson), then no way in hell does Christian Ponder (part of the Triumvirate of Suck with fellow 2011 draftees Blaine Gabbert and Jake Locker) win the game for them.  But the Rams have their own offensive challenges, and Minny has a D that can make a game-changing play or two.  Pick: Vikings

DJC - Pick: Vikings

BT - Love the Vikes - Executive Whiff of the Week.  Pick: Vikings

JAX at MIA -7

Me - My Line: MIA by 8.  Sports media across the universe is bursting with the incomparable story that is Chad Henne's return to Miami.  Howard Cosell dug himself up from the grave just to cover the event.  Gotta find a way to fly down the Giant Sweathole to watch this one. Pick: Dolphins

DJC - Pick: Dolphins

BT - Pick: Dolphins

DEN at BAL +2.5

Me - My Line: DEN by 1.  The System is telling me Baltimore, even though every bone in my body says "Dat Be Crazy!"  So how can I justify the pick?  Uh... Ray Lewis might be returning?  The Horsies are due for a bad game?  Man, I'm not even selling myself.  Sigh.  Pick: Ravens

DJC - Pick: Broncos

BT - Pick: Broncos

IND at HOU -9

Me - My Line: HOU by 9.5.  Houston has been exposed a couple times this year.  When they play the truly good teams, they fold like a deck chair.  But the Colts are not a good team.  Yes, I know their record is 9-4.  I don't care.  And the Texans - who don't fear Indy whatsoever - are angry about getting de-pantsed on national TV. Pick: Texans

DJC- Pick: Colts

BT- Pick: Texans

CAR at SD -3

Me - My Line: SD by 7.  I don't know why Carolina keeps getting so much credit.  Sure, they beat a ready-to-lose Atlanta team last week, but does that make their loss to the pitiful Chiefs the week before that go away?  At 5-8, SD actually has a positive point differential, which means that they're just a few plays here or there from 8-5.  They're the better team.  Pick: Chargers

DJC - Pick: Chargers

BT - Pick: Chargers

SEA at BUF +5.5

Me - My Line: SEA by 6.  And that's with the 3 point home advantage, which the Bills really won't have in Toronto.  I love Toronto.  Great city.  Great people.  But the Skydome is a horrific place for a football game.  And the NFL trying to force-feed the Canadians the Buffalo Bills?  That's like a strip club trying to entice you to come inside with a 250 lb bald hooker.  Pick: Seahawks

DJC - Pick: Seahawks

BT - Pick: Bills

DET at ARI +6

Me - My Line: DET by 2.  It pains me to follow the System on this one, but you know how it goes, the week after you get castrated 58-0, you play at home against another crap team and somehow manage to make yourself look decent.  That's what I tell myself as I pick a team that's starting Ryan freakin' Lindley.  Pick: Cardinals

DJC - Pick: Lions

BT - DET by 20.  Pick: Lions

PIT at DAL +1.5

Me - My Line: DAL by 1.  My inclination is to take the Steelers, but the System told me Chargers last week and it was right.  PIT gets a lot of street cred on reputation rather than 2012 performance.  Pick: Cowboys

DJC - Pick: Steelers

BT - Pick: Cowboys

KC at OAK -3

Me - My Line: OAK by 4.  This will probably be the most watched TV event since God won the Gold Medal in Figure Skating while starring in the final episode of MASH.  Go with the team that isn't playing Brady Quinn at QB.  Pick: Raiders

DJC - Pick: Raiders

BT - Pick: Chiefs

SF at NE -5.5

Me - My Line: NE by 4.  After dismantling the Houstons last week, everyone assumes that the Pats have entered Super Mode and won't be stopped anywhere short of the Super Bowl.  And they might be right.  But San Fran has a much better D than the Texans, and a much more dynamic QB in Colin Kaepernick.  Pick: 49ers

DJC - Pick: Patriots

BT - Brady is so good.  Pick: Patriots

NYJ at TEN -1.5

Me - My Line: TEN by 0.5.  I gave both teams the QB deduction in this one since neither team has a QB worth a damn.  MNF probably has solid ratings to this point, and maybe this one gets saved by a large NYC audience, but for the rest of the nation?  There's got to be an episode of Storage Wars on somewhere.  Pick: Jets

DJC - Pick: Titans

BT - Pick: Titans