Written by Mansfield Lucas

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An interesting game last night for sure. The Browns trailed 23-0 after three, looking as bad as humanly possible in the process. Then Ken Dorsey came in and led a TD drive, and Brady Quinn looked impressive in leading the team to two more TD's in the final nine minutes. No one breaks down a game like Mansfield Lucas, and we'll be getting his "Instant Analysis" takes after every single Browns game this season. There were alot of things to opine on from last night's game, and Mansfield tackles them all in today's column.

Right now I feel the same way about Rob Chudzinski, Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson as Charlton Heston did towards his long-incinerated homo sapiens cousins when he saw the inexplicably intact after the “nucular” holocaust Statue of Liberty sticking out of the sand at the end of “Planet of the Apes”.

“You maniacs! Damn you, you blew it all up. Damn you all to hell!”

How inept can one offense be? And then to have Quinn come in and carve up a bunch of stiffs for garbage points in the best performance by a Browns’ rookie quarterback since, uh, Tim Couch in the 1999 Hall of Fame game? Oh s&^%. It’s on like a maternal procreator now. You know those things called “reason” and “logic”? They will be flying out the window like stockbrokers on Black Friday in the forums and talk shows and around the office coffee station. “Start Brady now. He can’t be any worse that who they have. What’s he gonna learn on the bench anyway?” I tell you I taste regurgitation in my pie hole upon being subjected to such sophistry. C-town’s vaunted alleged football IQ is as intact as Guns and Roses. Mark my words: If Brady Quinn starts one moment before he is fully ready for the rigors of the NFL, before we play a full season, or minimally 10 games and the season is toast, then we will destroy something that appears to have some real promise. There is a plan to let the kid learn and play when he’s ready. They need to stick to it. But any more games like this one, and that troika of ineptitude I referenced above will make it impossible to do. The fans won’t allow it, and the fans influence Randy Lerner.

Onto the game:

Leon Williams must play

I told you last week and I still mean it. All he does is cover the field and make actual plays. This is as opposed to kinda sorta being near position and missing opportunities. He has to start at one inside linebacker position.

Steps back

How many areas of the Browns went backwards in this game form the first? Not exactly what you want to see out of a coaching staff.

Charlie Frye regressed mightily in terms of decision-making, game management, and accuracy on even moderately difficult throws. He looked like that Frye guy who stumbled through last season.

Except for a single drive where the game management let the wheels come off the wagon, the offensive line looked as disorganized and ineffective as last season against a very average Lions’ front seven.

The backup defensive backs were feasted on by the mighty John Kitna. He carved them up like a perfectly roasted Butterball. Now while this may or may not be a cause for any concern given the Lions did most of their damage against our second defense with their starters, we again saw the fragile Leigh Bodden have an ankle issue and we know we play the Bengals twice. We need six good corners and three or four good safeties.

The pompatus offensive scheme and execution looked like some people would call it “Maurice”. It was positively Carthonacular. I am so sick of the Browns being stumblebums on offense. Seriously, I know all about four offensive coordinators in four seasons and what that does. As a fan with a football IQ I get that. I get that the last thing needed is more change and Chud is in his first stint as an offensive coordinator. But good God in heaven I can NOT take this anymore. I want manager guy from Bull Durham throwing some damn baseball bats in the showers yelling at these fools. You throw the ball, you catch the ball. It is a simple game. You get a play in, you call it, and you snap the ball. You line up in formation, you don’t move until the snap. I want to see Chud on the damn field grabbing face the masks of Fatt Dorsey and Keg Hoffman next time. I don’t know if it’ll do any good, but it’d make me feel better. And it is all about me.

Brady Quinn

Brady is going to have a not-so-unique role to play in C-town sports. He will be at once the most loved and most hated player since I can recall. He’s cheered like the savior but under the surface lurk those ready to pounce, probably because he’s a good looking white cat and their masculinity is threatened for reasons of latency. I’m just sayin’. You can feel it palpably on the boards and hear it in the talk. Me? All I know is we need a QB to stop the Circle of Suck ™ and from what I saw over three college seasons and last night, this kid has a real shot to stabilize the most critical position on the field for years.

Yes, he was playing against the future of Arena Football Two, but what was not to like? His throwing ability is obviously head and shoulders about Frye. He has the kind of “pass first” mobility that you want to see, and he seems to love the game and feed off it. I hear he works hard off the field. How he deals with the unavoidable adversity and whether he does so better than while he was with Charlie and the Football Factory against the best teams will be key to his development. But if last night doesn’t at least excite you, say, more than Romeo Crennel, I have to play the “are you sure you’re a fan card” on your butt. This kid may have a golden future. It just needs to be unrolled better than it was for Frye, who despite his obvious limitations, has been set up to fail. Out thought: I’d love to see Frye play three quarters next week, and Quinn get the start in X game four against a starting NFL defense.

The Defense

I don’t even want to hear about 23 – 0 at one point. RAC pulled the starters pretty quickly, and if the offense wasn’t a complete cluster freak at the one yard line and turnover prone elsewhere the Browns’ firsts versus the Lions’ firsts have us on the positive side of the ledger. The defense was again solid to my way of evaluating X Season ball, and Peek and Wimbley show signs of being a special 3 – 4 OLB tandem. Keep on truckin’, bitches.

Chris Barclay vs. Jerome Harrison

You know how some fans are when it comes to wild eyed optimism. When we took Harrison, some fools were pulling out stats and a few with serious head trauma even suggested Harrison compared favorably to Reggie Bush. Two games into this X Season and I don’t even think he compares favorably to Jamel White. Harrison isn’t that fast, he’s breaks tackles like Eric Metcalf, and he makes execution mistakes. Meanwhile, this Barclay kid has true playa burst and some running instincts. Woulda been nice had he made the shoestring catch on the two point try, but hey, I think he’s the guy you keep. I don’t think he clears to make the practice roster.

Is it the royalties from the poster sale?

I love listening to Bernie Kosar’s commentary. And as a guy from his era, he’ll always be St. Bernard to me and can do no wrong. But is it me, or does it seems like he goes out of his way to prop up Charlie Frye? While he is pretty black and white in his analysis of DA, and he kept what Quinn was doing real-time in perspective, there always seems to be a silver lining with the kid Straight Outta Willard.

Bold Predictions

Your three deep QB’s at the start of the season will be: Frye, Dorsey, and Quinn. DA will be released.

Your three deep running backs: Jamal Lewis, who again looked to be in-prime – how spoiled is Ratbirds’ Fan to diss this guy? And then Jason Wright and Chris Barclay stick because Harrison is pissing away his chances.

Out.

All in all, file this one as a disappointing effort. As has been repeated now for two years, Romeo, you gotta get it together coaching-wise. This team looks ragged, dazed and confused too damn much. It’s freaking ludicrous. Y’all just keep embarrassing yourselves and us as fans. It’s gotta stop, or you gotta go. You know it, I know it, and Phil knows it. I’d just as soon see you be the guy to stop it, but hey, business is business.