Written by Chris Hutchison

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Well, it's over.

A View From The Cheap Seats

Practice Week 4 - Cleveland vs Chicago

Well, it's over.  The Preseason is over.  For months and months, we eagerly await its arrival.  And, when it gets here, we can't wait for it to end. 

In this, the 4^th and final game of the Preseason, Romeo wanted the Browns to look "decent", and they looked decent. 

Romeo wanted the Browns to win, and they, well, if there's ever a game where it really, really doesn't matter who wins, it's Preseason Game 4. 

I'm not going to be foolish enough to be one of those people that proclaims that the Preseason doesn't matter.  It does.  Don't believe that teams can't be mentally (and, clearly, physically) affected by the results of these games.  Sure, established, veteran teams can turn it on like a light switch come Week 1 of the Regular Season, but the Cleveland Browns don't have one of those.  They have a young, hopeful team full of personal, fan, and media expectations.  They can be affected by getting physically and executionally shellacked throughout the Practice Games. 

Let's hope they get past that by Halftime of the Cowboys games.  Sadly, I have my doubts.  I sense a slow start in the Browns future, and that could end up being the difference in getting into the playoffs or not. 

To state an obvious point - this team's youth, inexperience, and lack of depth should scare the frill off your bloomers. 

I really do believe this team is talented, and I think that they will get stronger and better as the year progresses. I just hope it isn't too late.   

My prediction?  I'm thinking 8-8, 7-9, something like that.  Or, should injuries ravage the roster - worse.  I hate the fact that I think it and can't shake it, but I sense an 0-2 start at home. 

We'll see.  At this point (or maybe any point), my opinion isn't worth a dead groundhog in a septic tank.  But, there it is nonetheless. 

Sometimes teams on the brink of greatness need to take one step back before making the giant leap forward.  That's the positive spin I'm going to put on this.  Which is a bonus, since years of sporting and, hell, life disappointment has driven me to a constant state of cynicism, a state which will not let me believe in miracles, which drives my hopes right into oncoming traffic. 

So it could just be that my endless skepticism is the cause for my gray horizons.  Honestly, my expectations for this year are much higher than they were, say, last year.  And look how that turned out. 

That, sports fans, is my second attempt at a positive spin. 

Pregame

Nothing interesting happened before the game.  However, after the game, later that night, I went to the store to acquire more adult beverages.  As I walked towards the front door of the establishment, I noticed a woman emerging from a car nearby.  The colors on her jacket elicited an immediate negative reaction - black and yella.  Perhaps just an unfortunate color scheme, I thought to myself.  But no, as she turned, her jacket revealed the hated symbol of the Pittsburgh Steelers. 

I reached the door just ahead of her, and my initial impulse was to shut it in her face.  But my instincts as a gentleman took over, and I held the door open for her instead.  Part of my brain was screaming This is Wrong!  Wrong!   

The other part told me to just get my beer and go home.  There was no honor at yelling insults at a thin middle-aged woman just because she had terrible taste in NFL teams. 

There was a significant line at the checkout, and the woman in black and yella stood behind me.  Two people ahead was a 50-something waitress, obviously just off her shift and just as obviously having already dipped into the libations.  She had a case in her hand, and glanced back at the woman behind me.  "Ugh," the waitress said.  "Steelers fan." 

Steelers woman pretended like she hadn't heard.  "I'm a Browns fan," waitress continued.  "I'm going to go put my jacket on my car like a flag." 

Then everyone in line started discussing the Browns and the Bears game.  Someone made a pointed remark about the Steelers.  The waitress made a rude joke about terrible towels.  The clerk wanted to know how Brady Quinn had looked in the game. 

I was flabbergasted.  Down here in the Akron-Canton area, it often seems that there are more Steelers fans than Browns.  Or people just don't care about either.  But here was a whole line of people - save one, of course - randomly talking Cleveland football.  I was so proud. 

Then 4 men walked in the door, probably fresh from coming from the game, each wearing some kind of Browns jersey.  Seeing the Steelers woman, they booed her as they walked towards the beer cooler.  The rest of the line laughed.  No one felt any pity for her.   

Turning, I looked at her.  Her face made it clear that she'd love to do nothing more than to disappear.  She was uncomfortable and obviously hadn't expected this response to her attire.  "You're a stranger in a strange land," I told her. 

"You should stop wearing that jacket."

First Quarter

Brady Quinn needed to look a helluva lot better than he did against Detroit, and what better way to get a QB going than a safe screen pass to the RB for 11.  Travis Wilson had a few nice catches, and Jason Wright was picking up huge chunks of yardage up the middle and to the left.  The Offensive Line was blocking much better.  But on 3^rd and 4 from the CHI 8, Quinn had plenty of time and just completely missed an open Kellen Winslow in the End Zone.  Brady needs to settle down when he's in there.  Browns 3, Bears 0. 

Chicago got a 1^st Down easily and moved to about midfield, where they had a 3^rd and 7.  But the Browns D line was getting some pressure and caused the Bears O line to get ancy, which netted them two quick penalties (both of which featured Shaun Rogers getting significant penetration).  3^rd and 17 usually results in a stop, but not if you completely overplay the screen to Matt Forte, and definitely not if your Middle Linebacker D'Qwell Jackson utterly whiffs on his tackle attempt. 

However, on the next play, Robaire Smith hit Kyle Orton as he threw, causing a floater that was easily picked by Brandon McDonald.  The play was encouraging because the Browns didn't blitz - they ran what looked like a hybrid 4-3 with Robaire and Alex Hall lining up at the DE positions, and both of them got excellent pressure on a standard 4 man rush. 

Wright and Jerome Harrison were running well again on the next series (despite Rex Hadnot going down with an injury), and Steve Sanders made a very nice 17 yard reception to get the ball to the CHI 5.  Harrison then made a great run out of a broken play, breaking out of the pile-up and sprinting to the left, just barely missing a TD by getting tackled by the head at the 1. 

On 4^th and Goal from there, the Browns went for it.  Quinn faked the inside handoff and pitched to Harrison, who easily took it to the house - a beautifully conceived play.  Browns 10, Bears 0. 

End of 1^st:  Browns 10, Bears 0. 

Second Quarter 

The Bears converted a 3^rd and short for 21 to Greg Olsen, but the Run D stuffed Kevin Jones, Orton threw a lateral out of bounds (due to nice pressure), and the Bears were stopped again.  The 1^st Team Defense looked pretty sharp against the Bears' 1^st Team O. 

In came Ken Dorsey, and these descriptions will get shorter.  Dorsey hit Wilson a couple times, and the Browns ran a gorgeous screen to Harrison, who dashed and dodged for 22.  But Dorsey wasn't able to connect with Efram Hill on a 3^rd and short slant pass (it looked like a bad pass, but, in actuality, was probably not Ken's fault). 

Pinned deep by a nice Zastudil punt, Rex Grossman entered the game, and Adrian Peterson was ripping off big chunks of yardage and looking like his Minnesota namesake.  It was obvious that the Browns backups were in - the middle was open and the field was littered with players who are no longer on the team. 

Rex abused the reserve Corners time and again, picking them apart on a steady march down the field.  On 3^rd and 10 from the CLE 19, Alex Hall rushed and nearly got there, but Grossman hit Brandon Rideau on a crossing pattern, Brandon Mitchell missed the tackle, and the Bears had themselves a TD.  Browns 10, Bears 7. 

Dorsey made a couple nice passes, moving the Browns into Chicago territory.  On 1^st and 10 from the CHI 45, Ken threw a beautiful pass to Travis Wilson down the right sideline, and Wilson flat out dropped it.  A brutal butchering.  We didn't know it at the time, but that was the last ball that would ever be thrown in Wilson's direction as a Brown.  If he had caught that ball, he might still be around today. 

The Browns drive stalled after that, and they punted. 

Grossman was out already, replaced by some guy named Caleb Hanie.  And Hanie immediately took up where Rex left off, scrambling, picking apart the awful Browns secondary.  He threw a nice 23 yard TD pass over some schmuck disguised as a Defender, but it was called back by a Holding penalty.  This effectively killed the End Zone push, and the Bears took the FG.  Browns 10, Bears 10. 

Halftime:  Browns 10, Bears 10. 

Third Quarter 

The Browns D came out and did well shutting down water bug Garrett Wolfe, and Hanie heaved up a long pass on 3^rd that Travis Key easily cut in front of for the INT, returning the ball Chicago 39, and add on 15 for Brandon Rideau's horse collar. 

Cleveland wasted no time in wasting the field position, wiping out a converted 3^rd Down with an Isaac Sowells Hold.  Big Ike followed that with a False Start, so it was suddenly 3^rd and 23 from the 37.  Darnell Dinkens got some of it back with a short catch, but Jason Reda, trying to pad his resume for the Free Agency market, just missed a 47 yard attempt. 

Gerard Lawson got burned on a 38 yard pass, and the Bears were suddenly at the CLE 14.  But Hanie missed an open WR in the End Zone, got a False Start, and they had to take a FG.  Bears 13, Browns 10. 

Ken Dorsey, as is his wont, led the Browns absolutely nowhere on the next series.  3 and Out. 

Wolfe was looking good on a couple runs, getting Chicago a 1^st Down.  However, Travis Daniels made a nice defensive play on a deep pass on 3^rd Down (‘bout time), and the Bears punted right back. 

The Browns were backed up after a penalty on the punt, and Dorsey figured Why bother?  So he went incomplete bad pass that could've been picked, incomplete bad pass that could've been picked, sack.  Sigh.  Even Bernie Kosar was having trouble defending him. 

On 2^nd and 6 from the CHI 36, Travis Key shot the gap and sacked the hell out of Hanie.  Plus Wolfe got nailed with a Chop Block, so the Bears were hopelessly backed up and were afforded the opportunity to boot the ball away once again. 

End of 3^rd:  Bears 13, Browns 10. 

Fourth Quarter 

Travis Thomas (how many Travi are on this team?) finally got loose and ripped off a 33 yard run to start the drive.  But it stalled at the CHI 27, Nathan Bennett got hit with a Holding penalty, and Dorsey severely underthrew and open Lance Leggett on 3^rd and 19.  Yep, you guessed it - time to punt. 

The Bears did absolutely nothing (although Jereme Perry got away with Face Guarding on 3^rd and Long), and they got to return the punting favor. 

The next drive was a long, well-executed, grinding drive that really should've ended better.  It was the Travis Thomas show, who was supposed to get the bulk of the carries for the rest of the night as the Browns only had 4 RB's on the roster.  And he ran hard, picking up nice chunks of turf.  Hubbard had a decent gain on a reverse, and Charles Ali converted a 4^th and short.  The Browns got to the CHI 2, where Dorsey was flushed to his left on 3^rd Down and lobbed the ball to Paul Hubbard, who absolutely butchered the catch.  4^th Down was a desperation throw into coverage, and managed to also get Thomas hurt. 

Chicago got one 1^st Down, but was shut down easily thereafter, and they did that punt thing again. 

But Ken Dorsey threw a weak pick on the 1^st play of the following drive, and Chicago took over at the CLE 32. 

Ahtyba Rubin made 2 nice tackles on the following CHI drive, and they didn't go anywhere.  They didn't have to.  When the Bears kicked through the FG, there was only 34 seconds left in the game.  Bears 16, Browns 10. 

The Browns had no intention of trying to do anything, but yet they handed off to Jerome Harrison.  To which I must ask... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU RISKING HARRISON ON A MEANINGLESS FREAKIN' PLAY?  He's not going for the Heisman.  There's no reason to pad his stats. 

And then the game ended, and the Browns went 0-4 for the Preseason. 

One day, far off in the future, your grandchildren are going to ask you about this.  "Grandpa/Grandma?" they'll say.  "Tell me about the time the Browns went 0-4 in the Preseason." 

"Well," you'll say, "it's a long, long, long story.  Get comfortable." 

Final:  Bears 16, Browns 10. 

Offensive MVP:  Jerome Harrison - He had 7 rushes for 35 yards (5 per carry) and 2 catches for 22.  I thought about giving this award to Travis Wilson as a parting gift, but figured I wouldn't waste it.  

Defensive MVP:  Brandon McDonald - After getting abused by the Motown Cats, he rebounded and played well, tackling solidly and getting a pick. 
 

Conclusion 

~~~Hark O Ye People! - Here's your 2008 Cleveland Browns team (at least as of the start of the season): 

QB: Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Ken Dorsey.  

RB: Jamal Lewis, Jerome Harrison, Jason Wright.  

FB: Lawrence Vickers, Charles Ali.  

WR: Braylon Edwards, Donte Stallworth, Josh Cribbs, Syndric Steptoe, Paul Hubbard.  

TE: Kellen Winslow, Steve Heiden, Darnell Dinkins, Martin Rucker.  

OL: Joe Thomas, Eric Steinbach, Hank Fraley, Seth McKinney, Kevin Shaffer, Rex Hadnot, Ryan Tucker, Isaac Sowells, Scott Young (via waivers).  

DL: Corey Williams, Shaun Rogers, Robaire Smith, Shaun Smith, Louis Leonard, Ahtyba Rubin.  

LB: Kamerion Wimbley, Andra Davis, D'Qwell Jackson, Willie McGinest, Antwan Peek, Leon Williams, Alex Hall, Beau Bell, Kris Griffin.  

S: Sean Jones, Brodney Pool, Mike Adams, Nick Sorensen. 

CB: Brandon McDonald, Eric Wright, Terry Cousin, Travis Daniels, Gerard Lawson.  

K: Phil Dawson. 

P:  Dave Zastudil. 

LS: Ryan Pontbriand. 

That means the following gentlemen were given their walking papers: 

Travis Thomas (RB), Steve Sanders (WR), Travis Wilson (WR), Lance Leggett (WR), Efrem Hill (WR), Brad Cieslak (TE), Kolomona Kapanui (TE), James Lee (OT), Nathan Bennett (OL), Jonathan Palmer (OL), Derrick Morse (OL), Marvin Philip (OL), Melila Purcell (DE), Chase Pittman (DE), David McMillan (LB), Shantee Orr (LB), Chase Ortiz (LB), A.J. Davis (CB), Jereme Perry (CB), Travis Key (S), Brandon Mitchell (S), Jason Reda (K). 

Lennie Friedman was put on IR. 

~~~I was a bit surprised to see Travis Wilson and Shantee Orr get cut.   

I figured with the relative weakness and unsettled-ness of the WR position that the Browns would keep 6, and that one of those 6 would be either Wilson or Steve Sanders.  There's no guarantee Cribbs will be back for the 1^st game, Syndric Steptoe got his shoulder dinged, so the Browns would be running with only 3 healthy Receivers on the roster (assuming Braylon is healthy). 

Further evidence how Kellen Winslow will be used this year, and why they kept 4 TE's. 

Plus, I guess they assume they'll get Joe Jurevicius back at some point. 

Wilson just never got out of Romeo's doghouse.  That, and he was utterly ordinary and replaceable. 

Orr was highly regarded when the Browns brought him in as a Free Agent, and it's not like they're stocked at the LB position either.  But, I must admit, I don't really remember Orr making many plays, and it seemed that the longer the Preseason went on, the later he was getting into the game.  And still not doing much against 3^rd stringers.  So I guess I won't cry him a river. 

~~~As far as players that I was surprised to see make the team, well, um, neither Travis Daniels nor Gerard Lawson excites me.  Now, as I said before, Lawson had a chance to make this team due to his effectiveness relative to what all his competition was doing (which is in no way an endorsement of his talents).  The only reason - the sole reason - he's on the squad is the fact that with Cribbs and Steptoe dinged up, he might have to return kicks. 

And I guess that I shouldn't be surprised by Daniels, since he just got traded for, and cutting the man after having him in camp for a week would seem like a pretty foul waste of a 7^th Round pick.  But he was getting burned just like the rest of ‘em. 

I would've much preferred to see one of those two replaced by Travis Key, who, despite being undersized at Safety, made a lot of plays when he was on the field. 

And Paul Hubbard, what have you done other than drop Touchdowns?  Fine, you did make a really nice catch against the Jets in the 1^st game, but your participation in the Preseason as a whole - as a 3^rd stringer, no less - was negligible at best.  I suppose that Phil/Romeo had hope for your future due to your size and speed, and didn't think you'd clear waivers so they could stash you on the Practice Squad.  But your hands... your routes... ick. 

You better sacrifice a goat to your god of choice, because - at this point in time - several Receivers better than you were let go. 

~~~Why is Ken Dorsey still on this squad?  Certainly, for the love of Pete (and Paul and Mary), there's GOT to be a developmental QB floating around out there on waivers that's worth a shot.  Ain't that how Derek Anderson got here?  And that worked out OK, didn't it?  Dorsey is WASTING A ROSTER SPOT.  I don't care if he's "like a coach out there".  Make him a coach.  Bring in a player to take his spot. 

If I never see him make another pass, I will count myself a satisfied human being. 

~~~The Practice Squad was also announced, and a lot of the guys I was sorry to see go made it back on: 

Steve Sanders (WR), Lance Leggett (WR), Travis Key (S), Melila Purcell (DE).  Also signed were Titus Brown (LB), Omar Cuff (RB), and Christian Gaddis (OL). 

As an aside - Who doesn't love the name Titus? 

Especially glad to see Sanders, Leggett, and Key back.  I suspect at least Sanders and Key will be back on the roster some time this season.  Key could be back as soon as next week, when Lawson is cut because Cribbs and Steptoe are healthy again. 

The only person I was somewhat surprised to see on this list was Travis Thomas, who ran very well in the last game and probably deserved some development.  However, that's just me slicing peas.  In the end, it won't make a difference. 

~~~It's amazing... in one year, the Defensive Line went from the weakest Defensive Unit to the strongest.  There's not one player there that I haven't seen good things from this Preseason. 

~~~Phil Savage announced that, should Jamal Lewis go down, Jerome Harrison would be the starting RB, with Jason Wright maintaining his 3^rd Down back status.  Last year, Wright was the primary backup, so this is an interesting change.  Evidently, Harrison has finally got his blocking to the point where the powers that be wouldn't quake in their boots if he had to play Jerome for a large load of the snaps.  And the team has finally realized that, as nice a back as Wright is, he isn't the threat that Harrison can be. 

Plus, I'd have to imagine that Vickers might get increased touches should this possibility come to fruition. 

~~~Nick Sorensen might be playing his way onto the field, and not just on Special Teams.  On a team of mediocre tacklers, he's one of the few that stands out.  He'll be solid in run support. 

~~~Despite my cautions about counting too heavily on him, Shaun Rogers looks like he's going to be a Monster. 

~~~Predictions: 

AFC East - New England

AFC North - Pittsburgh (how I hate to write that word right there)

AFC West - San Diego

AFC South - Jacksonville

Wildcard - Indy, Buffalo 

NFC East - Dallas

NFC North - Minnesota

NFC West - Seattle

NFC South - New Orleans

Wildcard - Green Bay, Giants 

AFC Champion - Jacksonville

NFC Champion - Minnesota 

You will notice that my Conference Champions are teams with good Offensive and Defensive lines, solid Defensive play overall, and good running games.  Call me foolish, but I think that those aspects are the key to good football. 

Superbowl - Minnesota.   

Yeah, I know the issues with the Vikings QB situation.  But they have so much talent everywhere else... I think they just need Jackson to Trent Dilfer it and they'll be just fine.  A team can go far with a superior Defensive Line (which MIN has).  Just ask the 2007 Giants. 

~~~Speaking of dead groundhogs (yes, I did, earlier)... they've been getting into my garden (live ones, not dead ones).  I put a fence around it, but the bastards tunneled under, and there's really no one that I can slap an injunction on due to it.  I don't have a gun, but I've borrowed my neighbor's .22 a couple times and shot a few, which is like shooting a bear with water pistol.  Meaning it don't work. 

Besides, the angle that would be best for me to shoot at them is towards some people's backyards which border my property, and some of them have kids, and I can't take the chance of a ricocheted bullet.  And we're not really supposed to be shooting guns in this township anyway. 

Projectile weaponless, I have little way to defend my garden, which is a good 75 yards from the house.  And one of the little bastages got in there on Friday and ate one of my pumpkins, which is akin to killing one of my friends (maybe a lesser friend or just a good acquaintance). 

So, the next day, when I saw one of the fat whores digging under the fence, I grabbed a brick from my garage and sprinted out.  He was in there all right, and just froze amidst the tomato plants when I stood in front of his hole, blocking his escape route.  He must've been hoping I didn't see him.   

Alas for him, he was wrong. 

Taking careful aim, I did my best Brett Favre imitation and hurled the brick right at the sumbitch's head.  And nailed him.  He flipped over, his evil paws quivering and kicking, obviously having suffered a serious injury to his nervous system. 

My girlfriend had tailed me out to see what was going on, and was upset by the situation.  "Oh, put him out of his misery!" she told me.  I had no problem with that.  My ultimate goal was - always had been - that groundhog's death.  So I went and got my shovel and a garden rake. 

The garden rake was to haul his spasmodic (and heavy) mass to the edge of the fence (I ain't walking up to no cornered groundhog - hurt or not - wearing shorts and sandals).  The shovel was to sever his spinal cord. 

Now, don't you feel sorry for that groundhog.  Don't you do it!  Some animals just NEED killin'.  And that hog of the ground was tops on my list. 

By that time, my girlfriend, who for some reason didn't want to see the end, had gone back to the house and advised my daughters not to go outside.  Of course, they wanted to know why, so they ran to the window to see what was going on - namely daddy repeatedly and viciously jamming a shovel into something in the garden. 

I wasn't going Jeffrey Dahmer - those groundhogs are solid creatures.  I didn't even break his fat hide.  I just stabbed the shovel into his neck area until I heard the crunch, and the beast stopped moving.  No blood, no guts.  Just big dead groundhog. 

I donned gloves to remove the carcass, and tossed the corpse back into the hole from whence he came, a dire warning to his groundhog brothers and sisters that they were next if they dared approach my garden ever again. 

Naturally, they were back in there the next morning. 

I gots ta get me a crossbow. 
 

Next Up 

~~~The Dallas Cowboys 

The NFL's biggest show is coming to Cleveland.  No team in the NFL is as glitzy and self-absorbed as the Cowboys of Dallas.  Terrell Owens and his bipolar behavior, Pacman Jones and his "scrip" clubs, Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson and Jerry Jones and the cheerleaders and the melodrama and the hordes of adoring media.  God, I hate Cowboys. 

I've never liked them.  True, when I was growing up, I rooted for them in the Superbowls versus the black and yella, but I never got into them other than that.  And during their heyday of the early 90's, I loathed them.  Stinkin' random Cowboys fans popping up all over the place.  You ain't never been nowhere even near Dallas, dumbass, I'd tell them.  But no team in the NFL spawns so many bandwagon fans as "America's Team". 

The Cleveland Browns get them for the 4 o'clock game, which means it will be broadcast to a majority of homes nationally, kind of the Browns' unofficial 6^th prime time game.  There is no denying that Cowboys are loaded, the trendy pick by many to reach the Superbowl from the NFC.  They've got solid O & D Lines, a two-headed RB system, a solid QB, a good pass rush, and one of the best WR's and TE's in the game.   

They're kind of exactly what the Browns want to become.  Cleveland thinks it can be good.  Dallas knows it. 

Can the Browns win this game?  Certainly.  But they'll have to play a LOT better than they have played so far, and they'll have to play a LOT better than they did at ANY point last season.  If Cleveland and Dallas played 10 times in a row, the Cowboys would probably win 7 or 8.  But since they only play once... 

Optimism will be on re-set come Sunday morning at Cleveland Browns Stadium.  The smell of charred meat and chili and sauerkraut will fill the air.  Beer and vodka will flow like the Amazon.  Browns fans will be chanting, shouting.  For them, the Browns are undefeated, and the future is nothing but bright. 

Let's hope they leave as happy as when they went in. 

Despite my fears, I can't wait for the game to begin.  Somewhere deep inside, I still have high expectations.  Somewhere deep inside, there's still a part of me that is waiting for the Cleveland Browns to treat the Dallas Cowboys like I treated that groundhog.