Written by Rich Swerbinsky

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Stiller Win More Proof God Hates Cleveland

Capping off the most miserable ten year stretch in Browns football history ... the hated, repulsive, and vile Pittsburgh Stillers were gift-wrapped a Super Bowl championship last night, as the Seattle Seahawks completely melted down in the national spotlight.  Before I delve deeper into the Seahawk Melt, lets take a quick second to review the last ten years from a Browns fans perspective.

• 2006: Stillers win Super Bowl
• 2005: Belichick wins Super Bowl
• 2004: Belichick wins Super Bowl
• 2003: Tampa over Oakland
• 2002: Belichick wins Super Bowl
• 2001: Modell wins Super Bowl
• 2000: Rams over Titans
• 1999: Cleveland has no team (Elway wins Super Bowl)
• 1998: Cleveland has no team (Elway wins Super Bowl)
• 1997: Cleveland has no team

Eight of the last ten Super Bowls have ended with either Cleveland not having a franchise, or one of our hated rivals or former coaches winning one.  If you don’t feel like you got kicked in the stomach this morning, you are not a true Browns fan.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t hate the Stillers in the same way that I hate the Ravens, Ben Affleck, or fat-free foods.  I do respect them, and will never forget the support Dan Rooney showed this city when that lying sack of shit Modell snuck out the backdoor of this town with our football team.

That being said, I was brought up taught to hate this football team, and will raise my seven-month old son the same way.  I became appalled over the last two weeks as I came to realize exactly how many Browns fans were pulling for Pittsburgh to win this game.  This dumbing-down of the Browns fan base is primarily a byproduct of the team’s rudderless ineptitude since returning the league in 1999, and another sad reminder of where things presently stand.

If not bad enough that these miscreants got to hoist the Lombardi Trophy last night, the manner in which this game was handed to them was nauseating.  The Seahawks came in with a good game plan, yet committed mistake after mistake in attempting to execute it.

Leaving aside the questionable officiating, the Seahawks committed several stupid penalties, and all at the absolute worst times.  They dropped four or five crucial passes, and failed to get two feet in on others.  They missed field goals.  They left themselves one first down away from scoring position on multiple occasions.  The Seahawks outgained the Stillers, and held Big Ben to 9-21 passing for just 123 yards and intercepted him twice.  And coach Mike Holmgren morphed into Richie Kotite inside the last two minutes of each half, terribly mismanaging the clock in key situations.

This all said, the better team won, even if they should have lost.  And Browns fans absorb another cruel haymaker to the midsection as we buckle up for another long and painful offseason.