Written by Chris Hutchison

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Week 8 – The Bye Week

Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace did not practice again this week, so it appears that the mercurial Colt McCoy will make his 3rd straight start on Sunday, this time against Evil Mastermind Bill Belichick and the top-ranked New England Patriots.

That's like Terrelle Pryor getting his first three starts as a true freshman against Florida, Oklahoma, and Alabama.  And he plays for Purdue, not Ohio State.

Understandably, Mike Holmgren was asked many QB-related questions in his Midseason State of the Team press conference.  Holmgren responded time and again that the decision belonged to the Head Coach (obviously), but he slipped in a couple of points that I thought tipped his hand:

"Would you like to know a little more about your current young 'un? Yes.  Do I have a good feeling about him now and what he’s done? Absolutely, but it’s two games."

“I think [the decision about the QB situation going into next year] could be [the most important decision as Browns' President].  I’ve gone on the record many times as saying the most important player on your team is the quarterback. I think you have to get to the Super Bowl and become a viable playoff caliber team year after year after year. You have to have that guy.  I think it’s a huge decision Tony (Grossi), I do.  I’m stating the obvious I think.”

"Things are hard to predict, but if you have a quarterback you believe in though, you can build around that and get there a little faster I think.”

“I think part of the thing about young quarterbacks playing is that as long as you can keep them healthy, as long as they don’t get too scarred and too beaten up. I’m talking mentally scarred, every game that they play is probably a good thing as long as that happens.  We would like to win games, it will be a discussion the coaching staff has, there’s no question about it.  It might be academic at this point because while Jake (Delhomme) and Seneca (Wallace) are improving, exactly where they are I honestly couldn’t tell you right now."

"Until it’s clear that either one of those veteran quarterbacks can play physically, Colt will play, Colt has to play.  As soon as it becomes where you have a choice to make then you have to sit down, have that conversation and make the choice."

Seneca himself has said that he should be ready, and feels that he's earned the starting job.  He also touted the concept of picking a QB and going with him (which I happen to agree with).  He thinks that QB should be him.

It may actually be true that Wallace gives the team the best chance to win.  But it sounds to me (from those last two quotes especially) that the Powers That Be (or at least Holmgren) wouldn't mind Seneca being "injured" a bit longer to get a better look at McCoy without causing controversy.  I imagine a conversation that goes something a bit like this:

INT. PRACTICE FACILITY - DAY

Seneca Wallace sits on the artificial turf of the Browns' indoor practice facility, stretching his legs while wearing full uniform, helmet off.  Up drives Mike Holmgren in his custom-designed golf cart, stopping next to Wallace.

Holmgren: Mornin', Seneca.

Seneca: Mornin', Coach.  How was vaykay?

Holmgren:  Oh, nice, nice, thanks for askin'.  Arizona's a little nicer this time of year than Ohio.

Seneca:  You're telling me.

Holmgren:  You practicing today?

Seneca:  Yep.

Holmgren:  You are?

Seneca (confused):  Yeah.

Holmgren:  Medical cleared you?

Seneca:  Yeah.

Holmgren:  How's your ankle?

Seneca:  It hurts a little bit, but it should be fine.

Holmgren:  It doesn't look fine.

Seneca (looking at his ankle):  What do you mean?

Holmgren:  It looks swollen.

Seneca:  No it doesn't.

Holmgren:  It's huge.

Seneca:  I... it isn't...

Holmgren (pointing):  No, you can clearly see that ankle is bigger than the other one.

Seneca: That's not the ankle that got hurt.

Holmgren (taken aback, then quickly recovers): That's what I meant.

Seneca (confused): Huh?

Holmgren:  Here, get up, let me see you walk on it.

Seneca stands up and walks in a little circle with no limp.

Holmgren:  Looks like you're favoring it.

Seneca (looking down while he's walking):  It does?

Holmgren:  Yeah.  Big time.

Seneca:  It feels fine.

Holmgren:  It looks like it's really hurting you to me.

Seneca:  It's not.

Mike raises an eyebrow and wiggles his fingers at Wallace mysteriously.

Holmgren (chanting):  Your ankle is really hurting you.

Seneca stops walking and stares at him.

Seneca:  What are you doing?

Mike quickly stops his finger wiggling and scratches his head, looking away.

Holmgren:  Oh, nothing, nothing.  Well, gotta go.

He starts to drive away.

Holmgren:  I'll just tell Eric that you need another couple days before you're ready then.

Seneca:  But... Coach!

Holmgren (calling as he drives away):  Nice talkin' to you, Seneca!

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OK, I know there's someone out there just freakin' out about the fact that the Browns didn't put a claim in on Randy Moss.  "WE NEED TALENT!" they're screaming.  "ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!"

Well, yes, we do need talent.  We do not, however, need Randy Moss.

Randy Moss is a problem child.  He's the ultimate prima donna.  He only plays hard when he wants to.

Do you think for one minute that he would come into 2-5 Cleveland and their QB Soup and try hard?  Do you think he'd show up at all?

If maybe the Browns were 4-3 there would be more of an argument to bring in a Moss, but at 2-5, Cleveland should have no playoff illusions.  Yes, the WR position is in serious need of a talent infusion, but not at the price of all the negative that comes with Randy freakin' Moss.

Besides, you knew perfectly well that there was no way in hell an Eric Mangini team would even consider a character problem like Moss.  It's just the way it is, so stop wringin' your greasy hands in distress.

Even Holmgren made it clear in his press conference that Moss wasn't even an option:

"Our focus I believe has to be on developing our younger receivers.”

And since those guys are about as hopeless as it gets, that should tell you everything you need to know about how the Cleveland Browns - and pretty much every team in the league outside of Nashville - view Mr. Moss.

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Also from the Press Conference (and the Department of Flaccid Praise):

(On how Daboll has done so far)- “He works, all of the staff, I would say the same thing about the whole group.  This is a hard-working group.  Now I put on my presidents hat and I look at it a different way.  I put on my coach’s hat, which is old, and I look at it another way, which I knew would happen.  One of my greatest challenges is I’m up there, and (Doug) Dieken and Jim (Donovan), I don’t know if you hear me yelling sometimes, but I try not to get too boisterous up there.  You’ll see things and you’ll go, ‘Aw, [hell].’  That’s the coach in me talking and I apologize for that right now."

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A lot of people speculated that Holmgren sounded like he wanted to coach again during his press conference.  I didn't necessarily get that - it sounded more like Holmgren was trying to be funny.  And I'd prefer it if he stayed where he is, even if Mangini is let go.  The power structure would be all akimbo if the Team President also became the Head Coach.

But, if Holmgren DOES decide to step back onto the field come next year, I'm not going to flip out either.  Lest we forget, he has led his teams to 3 Super Bowls and won one.  It's not like he can't Coach.  And, with Tom Heckert in charge of everything personnel-related, it's not like the Front Office would take a vast hit from Holmgren spending most of his time with the Coach hat on.

After 10 years of gross (and disgusting) mismanagement, I'm just happy to have some competent people in charge.

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The home office of the company I work for is located in Minneapolis, and I understandably communicate with many of that city's locals on a daily basis.  Thus, it was logical to ask one gentleman I talk to frequently about Minnesota's view of Vikings' Coach Brad Childress.

His response was laced with profanity.  He also stated that most Minnesotans would pay a great deal of money to have Mr. Childress killed.

So, if anyone out there is currently looking for work, there's a job opportunity for you.

_____________________

I almost dropped the Vikings Defense from my fantasy team this week.  They've done NOTHING all season and are near the bottom of fantasy scoring in the entire NFL.

But then I read that Derek Anderson was going to be starting again for the Cardinals, and Minnesota plays Arizona this week.

So I'll keep them for one more week.  Hate to miss out on those Pick 6's.

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I have come to the conclusion that the 2 party system is completely broken and should be scrapped.

Republican, Democrat... who cares?  I hate both parties.  Neither one will get anything done because they'll be blocked along party lines by the other.  People vote the way their party tells them to or they are shunned.

In a couple years, when the Republicans have managed to get nothing done and the country is still in a mess, the people (many of a reactionary nature) will turn to the Democrats in desperation.  And they'll get nothing done either.

Rinse and repeat.

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Next Up

New England Patriots (6-1). 

The Patriots have the 19th ranked Offense (16th Passing, 14th Rushing) and the 28th ranked Defense (31st Passing, 11th Rushing).  So, even though they're 6-1 and oooooooooooo! - Tom Brady! - and ooooooooooooo! - Bill Belichick! - this team is certainly beatable, and probably not even one of the 3 best teams the Browns have faced.

The rest of the world would view a Browns win at home a massive upset, but that would be an easy conclusion for someone that hadn't watched either team (especially Cleveland) play.  The Browns can CERTAINLY win this game.  I'd go as far to give them almost even odds to do so (even though I had a dream last night they lost 85-0).

I think that it will come down to experience vs. youth, and Tom Brady will trump Colt McCoy and Bell Belichick will trump Eric Mangini.

Patriots 23, Browns 20.

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Person That I Dislike More Than Aaron Goldhammer

Justin Bieber

This guy is here solely for introducing the world to a horrific haircut.

I haven't heard his music (and I'm sure that sucks too), but I've seen his face enough times to know that that hairstyle is an affront to mankind.  I've had Lego men with less plastic-looking hair.

Yes, I know Tom Brady should probably also be chastised for emulating the Bieber "do", but his wife wanted him to do it, and if your wife is Giselle Bundchen, you comb your hair any way she wants you to.

But you don't get a pass, Justin, you soon-and-inevitably-to-be-as-irrelevant-as-Tiffany toejam.  Yeah, it was probably some marketing "genius" that thought it would be great for you to have a trademark hairstyle, but you're still the one that allowed that abortion on top of your noggin.

For the sake of humans everywhere, may baldness claim you at an early age.