Written by Chris Hutchison

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Week 11 – Cleveland at Jacksonville

There's the Browns I know and loathe.

I haven't been angry enough this year, but the Browns finally took care of that on Sunday, blowing a game where they were gifted 6 turnovers, scored a Defensive TD, and led pretty much throughout.  That disgusting display cured me of my optimism.

Yes, it's been a while since I got to yell at the TV some of the lyrics from one of my favorite Eminem songs (Kim):  I HATE YOU!  I HATE YOU!  I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU!

About time that my blood pressure medication was useful for something.

This season was confusing me, but now the stars have re-aligned:  The Browns couldn't run the ball.  The Browns were horrible on Offense.  The Browns couldn't stop the run.  The Browns were horrible on Defense (except for all those nice - wasted - donations).  The Browns blow a late lead.  The Browns fall short on a last-second comeback attempt.  The Browns lose badly against a mediocre team that outplays them in every facet of the game.

That's the Browns I know and loathe.

ATTENTION!  YOU ARE THE CLEVELAND BROWNS.  YOU HAVE NOT "ARRIVED" YET.  DON'T YOU DARE PLAY LIKE YOU HAVE.

However, my anger didn't last beyond that day.  Let's be practical, people.  Cleveland isn't going to the Playoffs, so while I will never root for the Browns to lose, the losses certainly can't hurt their Draft Position (sitting pretty at #7 - only 4 teams have a worse record).  I know, I know, what a horrible thing to call a silver lining.  Sorry, can't help it.  If they're picking that high and they have another draft like last years', the jump from 2010 to 2011 could be astronomical (assuming there is a 2011 season).

Think about it:  Montario Hardesty will be back and hopefully healthy, giving the Browns a 1-2 punch at RB which is woefully lacking right now.  Colt McCoy will likely have the entire offseason as the designated starting QB to work with his Receivers (whomever they might be).  Another draft of young talent, another crop of veteran Free Agents from winning programs.

Yes, 2011 should be very interesting indeed.

Sadly, that leaves the remainder of 2010 as just filler.  At 3-7, what purpose will the rest of the season serve?

Well, I suppose there's more snaps for McCoy (hopefully), which can never be a bad thing.  There's Joe Haden starting at Corner (inevitable), and TJ Ward/Shawn Lauvao getting more experience.  Maybe Carlton Mitchell will actually see the field (although the fact that his rookie season is following the Robiskie Arc is not promising).

And I guess there's always the omnipresent battle for Eric Mangini and his staff's jobs.  That at least should be interesting.

There's also the importance of ending the season strong to propel us into next year, the same way that last year's 4-game winning streak propelled the Browns to... uh... 3-7 so far...

(Damn, I guess I can't sell that one.)

How about the possibility of knocking either the Ravens or Steelers down a Playoff peg - or even out of the Playoffs altogether - in those last 2 games of the season?

Ah, yes.  THERE'S the reason to keep watching.

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Game Recap

I can tell you kids that watching the game tape on this one was no Holiday treat.

The Jags struck first on a decent drive early the1st, nailing a FG to take an early lead.  But then Colt McCoy led the Offense on a masterful 92 yard TD drive, which featured decent production both running and receiving from Peyton Hillis and some key receptions by Mo Massaquoi and Chansi Stuckey.  The drive was capped by one of those Holy Shit type plays where Colt squirmed out of certain destruction and shoveled the ball to Hillis, who took it the remaining 11 yards to paydirt.  Browns 7, Jaguars 3.

Jacksonville went 3 and Out on the next drive, which was followed by a 47 yard screen to Hillis down to the JAX 30.  But Brian Robiskie made his presence known with an Offensive Pass Interference penalty, and the drive sputtered and died as Phil Dawson missed a 51 yard FG after a deep 3rd Down pass to Mo Mass was misinterpreted by someone (he ran an out, whereas McCoy read a go).

And, to paraphrase Don McLean, that's the Play the Offense Died.

The Browns got a turnover on an INT by Abe Elam on a Halfback pass, but the O did nothing with it, and the Jags marched the ball fairly easily down the field for a TD.  When watching the Browns, one can get a sense when they're in the game and when they're being overpowered, and this game felt like the latter.  Jaguars 10, Browns 7.

Cleveland held JAX to a 3 and Out to start the 2nd Half, but did little with the ensuing drive.  After a punt, the Jags took over at their own 10.  Maurice Jones-Drew plowed ahead for 8 - like he'd do most of the day - but Elam met him, stripped him, and took the fumble in for an 18 yard TD.  Ah, yes, good feelings.  How fleeting thou art.  Browns 14, Jaguars 10.

Thus began the most bizarre turn of events I have seen in quite some time.

1. David Garrard threw another INT, this one by a ball batted up into the air by Sheldon Brown to TJ Ward.  Browns take over at the JAX 48.  They go 3 and Out, losing 4 yards on the drive.

2. Garrard threw another pick, this one a beautiful play by Joe Haden, returned to the JAX 19.  The Browns managed -1 yard, barely avoiding an INT of their own.  Dawson kicked a FG.  Browns 17, Jaguars 10.

3. Garrard decided to run on 3rd and 5, but got nailed by Ray Ventrone and fumbled, recovered at the JAX 43 by Chris Gocong.  The Browns get all of 1 yard and punt.

4. Another pass batted up by Brown and snatched by Ward, this time returned all the way down to the JAX 35.  The Browns respond to this 4th opportunity in a row by netting 2 yards and missing another long FG.

After making like a cats they are and using up 6 of their 9 lives, the Jaguars finally stopped shooting themselves in the groin and rather comfortably down the field, scoring the tying TD on a freakin' 14 yard pass on 3rd and freakin' Goal from the freakin' 14.  At which point I decided the Browns DESERVED to lose the game.  Browns 17, Jaguars 17.

Unerringly, the Browns finally concluded they needed to open things up a bit in a tie game with 3.5 left in the game. A roll out (shocking) led to a nice 38 yard pass to Evan Moore, and McCoy scrambled 18 yards for a 1st Down at the JAX 18 with about 3 minutes left.  But the coaching staff felt that was "good enough" and got conservative again, trying to run time off the clock which the Jags wisely negated via Time Outs.  Phil kicked a FG with 2:46 to give Cleveland another lead.  Browns 20, Jaguars 17.

Well, those NoFla Cats had the ball at their own 24 with about 2.5 left when Garrard threw a little screen to MJD that resulted in a 74 yard tackle-free run down to the 1 yard line, where the one guy that apparently CAN tackle (Haden) did, which was unfortunate because all his effort did was run some time off the clock before the Browns succumbed to the inevitable.  Jaguars 24, Browns 20.

The Browns got the ball on their 20 with 1:16 left, needing a TD/Miracle.  McCoy made some good throws and it looked interesting, but they opted not to spike the ball with 33 seconds left at midfield, and the resultant pass to Stuckey netted not only 0 yards but got stopped in play.  By the time they finally DID spike it, there were only 18 ticks left.

Moore caught a ball down to the 29 with 13 second left, but McCoy's pass to Ben Watson over the middle at about the 4 bounced off his pads and was brought in my some random Jaguars Defender for a game killing pick, and, there you go.  Worst loss of the season.

There's one thing to tough it out and lose a close one to superior talent.  There's completely another thing to get 6 turnovers and still lose to the freakin' Jaguars.

Disgusting.

Final:  Jaguars 24, Browns 20.

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Conclusion

Time of Possession:  Jacksonville – 31:28, Cleveland – 28:32

Total Yards:  Jacksonville – 371, Cleveland - 283

First Downs:  Jacksonville - 24, Cleveland – 15

I think this one's pretty obvious:  Had the Browns forced/been gifted 6 turnovers, the Jags would've kicked their Orange asses all around NeverBank Stadium.

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Gameballs

Abe Elam – Strange, but true.  A nice awareness pick on the HB pass and a TD fumble return of his own making.  Great game.

Sheldon Brown - Responsible for both TJ Ward picks.

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Honorable Mention

Peyton Hillis – Not his best game, certainly, but I don't know what else he could've done against those 8-9 man fronts.  Still super-effective in the passing game, still a major factor in the Offensive production.

Evan Moore – He's a match-up problem no matter where you put him.  His size is problem for Corners, his mobility is a problem for Linebackers.  Yet the Browns only remember him occasionally.

Joe Haden – Apparently it takes an injury for the Powers That Be to have you in there as a Starter.

Colt McCoy – If that's his "Rookie" game, then it wasn't so bad.  Drove down for a 4th Quarter lead, and had chances for a miracle at the end.

Marcus Benard – 10 sacks in 14 games.  That's a career for Courtney Brown.

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Wall of Shame

Brian Robiskie - Drop an important pass at home like you did that 3rd Down attempt with about 10 minutes left in the 4th, and the crowd will prove to Braylon that they can boo a Buckeye just as loudly as a Wolverine.  You, sir, are just a bust of epic proportions.  Enjoy Arena Football.

Brian Daboll - I'm reserving a whole section below for you.

Offensive Line - The moment I saw that John St. Clair was starting, I did not feel good about the future of the running game.

John St. Clair - The moment I saw that John St. Clair was starting, I did not feel good about the future of the running game.

Defensive Line - It was so pleasant to see this whole unit blown off the ball play after play by the juggernaut Jaguars O Line.

Run Defense - There is only one place to tackle Maurice Jones-Drew, and that is low.  That message somehow was not delivered.

Phil Dawson - Yeah, I know those weren't easy kicks that you missed (51 x 2).  But if you'd made them, the Browns win.

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Mr. Daboll... (I shake my head in disgust, pacing up and down in front of a table whilst Daboll sits in an interrogation chair, awaiting his rebuke)... Mr. Daboll... what do you have to say for yourself?

Hmmmmmmmm?

Anything?

And you, Mr. Mangini... (he sits next to Daboll, giving me a look of "Who, Me?")... you're not innocent either.  You're both to blame!

The Defense bought you a 14-10 lead in the 3rd Quarter, then proceeded to force turnovers on FOUR STRAIGHT POSSESSIONS!  And what did your Offense do with those opportunities?  NOTHING!

Did you try to go for the jugular?  When it was apparent that the Jaguars were stacking the line to stop the run and put pressure on the QB, did you try anything different to try and break that up?  Did you throw the ball deep?  Some quick slants?  Some misdirection?  Maybe toss in a little hurry-up?  Anything different other than slamming Peyton Hillis directly into a wall and asking Colt to try and convert 3rd and Longs?

NO!  YOU JUST SAT THERE AND LET IT HAPPEN!

How about those trick plays that worked so effectively against New Orleans and New England?  Did you try any of those?  Or do you only save those for the "premium" opponents?

It's not a trick play if you practice it and execute it.  It's just a play.

Instead, you went the ol' "let's play not to lose" route, which, naturally, resulted in a loss.  Like it always does.

When will you people learn that going into a protective shell and not putting teams away will end up - more often than not - with them ACTUALLY COMING BACK.

HOW MANY 4TH QUARTER LEADS DO YOU HAVE TO BLOW FOR YOU TO GET IT?

IF YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE, AT LEAST LOSE WITH A DANGLING PAIR INTACT.

What do you have to say for yourselves?  What's your excuse?

If you say the word "process", I'm turning off the cameras and breaking out the brass knuckles.

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Unsurprisingly, the Northern Florida Disaster revived the largely quieted Anti-Mangini faction.

I'll not be party to the should-he-stay-or-should-he-go talk until the end of the season.  Mangini's got 6 games left, and we'll just see where those go before I even bother chipping in.  Likely, I'll just maintain my position anyway:  I like him OK, and if Heckgren wants to keep him, I'm fine, but it's not like he's so great that ditching him would bother me either.

Daboll, however, is another story.  I know we don't have the best receiving weapons, but an Offensive Coordinator gets paid to use what he has and put an effective product on the field.  Not to mention that I feel that Daboll often sabotages his unit with his conservatism.

At this point, if Daboll returns for 2011, I will be very disappointed.  It's not like he's totally awful... he just lacks creativity, innovation, and the ability to adjust to changing circumstances.  You know, the things that make an Offensive Coordinator more than just some dude randomly selecting plays out of a book.

And the Jaguars were kind enough to demonstrate how to beat a Daboll Offense:  Crash the line of scrimmage to stop the run and put pressure on the QB, leave the Corners one-on-one on the Receivers on the outside, dare the Browns to beat you deep.  Watch Daboll counter this by a heavy dose of more running plays and screens.

Oh, and God forbid you run a backup RB a play or two.  Why not just run Hillis into the ground?  He'll never get hurt or tired, right?

I was against Daboll's returning for this year, but there was some validity to 2009 being his "rookie" season, and maybe he could learn and grow under the tutelage of Gil Haskell/Mike Holmgren.  But this system doesn't have much in common with Haskell/Holmgren - Holmgren has even gone out of his way several times to point out that this is NOT his system, which sounds kind of like deflecting the blame.

It could very well be that Holmgren uses Daboll to make the year-end coaching decision for him.  Maybe he tells Mangini that Daboll needs to go, and sees if Mangini's fine with that.  If he isn't, well, then that's Mangini firing himself, not Holmgren doing it. 

Holmgren probably would feel better about it that way - rationalizations are what allow us all to sleep at night.

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Colt McCoy had his worst game as a Pro this week, at least as far as I'm concerned.  He finally looked like the Rookie he is, not aided by the constant pressure he was under.  6 JAX sacks led to Mr. McCoy having what can be termed "happy feet" (not that stupid penguin movie).

Now, there may have been no one open, but Colt didn't hang in the pocket the way you need to at the NFL level.  He usually started looking for Exit signs with about 1 or 2 seconds left before he got hit, and certainly needed to be more decisive.  There was also the disturbing refusal to throw the ball downfield (other than the one time at Mo Mass in the 1st Half, which would've been a TD had Mo not broken his route off), but it's tough to know if that was his fault or Daboll's.

And now he might not even play this week due to his sprained ankle (which may or may not be a high ankle sprain - Mangini will never tell).

That would put Seneca Wallace back in, or, as the PD suggest, even Jake Delhomme (WTF?)

I can't think of any reason in the whole wide wide world of sports to start Delhomme when you have a healthy Seneca Wallace other than you want Jake to play against his old team and you think you're so much better that you don't need your best available QB in there.  Which would be pretty arrogant of the Browns, but, then, the Panthers are substantially awful.

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Hey Braylon! 

Has Mark Sanchez gotten to the point yet where he's allowed to criticize you?

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I saw the new Harry Potter movie on Saturday, and I was very impressed.  Not only was it benignly faithful to the book, but the acting was superb.

I know there is a faction that says that football talk and Harry Potter movies do not go hand in hand, but one of the great advantages of being an adult is that I don't have to give a damn what anyone thinks about anything.

So my recommendation is to go see HP7-1 and enjoy the anticipation for HP7-2: The Final Battle.

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Next Up

Carolina Panthers (1-9). 

The Panther have the worst record in the league.  Most games, they don't even compete.  After a rash of injuries leaving them with starting their 3rd string RB and their 3rd string QB and... well... 3rd string NFL talent almost everywhere else... there are probably good NCAA teams that could beat 'em.

Naturally, we should be afraid.

If the Browns lose this game, you might as well stick a fork in the Mangini years.  I don't think he's close to elimination, but losing at home to a team like the Panthers might put that into hyperdrive.  I don't care who starts at QB, you simply don't lose to this Carolina team.  No way in Hell.

After last week, my fear of picking the Browns to win has been reinforced.  But this had better be the one game where the Hutchison Jinx is broken, or so help me... well, I'm not sure what I can do but bitch, but you'd better believe there'll be a lot of that.

Browns 27, Panthers 10.

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People That I Dislike More Than Aaron Goldhammer

Cristin Severance, Television "Reporter" & Rob Parker, Sports "Writer"

I'm sure you've heard the stupid story by now that some drunken Browns fan allegedly tackled an 8 year old kid with a Jets jersey on in the Muni Lot.  This story broke after the boy's mother, Danielle Brennan, went to the media, and, of course because it's a negative and shocking story, it went national almost immediately, despite the fact that the entire story came from someone that wasn't there.

No eyewitnesses, no evidence - just the word of a mom.  Something as taboo and shocking as attacking a child and no one did anything, including the dad?  You know, the guy that was actually there?  Who, incidentally, has said nothing.  He's probably hiding in the basement holding his head and desperately wishing he had something different to his wife when he got home.  All while he looks into the Bartman Relocation Program.

Because the few people that claim they were eyewitnesses all tell the same (and much more believable) story:  Drunken idiot with his hands in his pockets stumbles and falls, hitting kid in Jets jersey.  Drunken idiot lays on ground, hurt.  Dad, not having seen what happened, but knowing his kid just got knocked down, yells at guy "I hope you didn't mean to do that."  Which it should be obvious he didn't, since the dude's laying on the ground oblivious.

Gee, that sounds almost plausible, doesn't it?  As opposed to some guy "tackling" a kid and no one doing anything about it, of course.

The fact that there was doubt in the mind of the father at the instant that it happened should have been enough to bury the story, but mom... oh, no, you can't silence an outraged mom.

"What happened to junior, dear?"  

"Ah, well, this guy knocked him down." 

"WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!  KNOCKED HIM DOWN!  SOMEONE ATTACKED MY SON?" 

"Well, I don't know, he was drunk, and he just sort of..." 

"NO ONE ATTACKS MY SON!  I'M CALLING THAT HACK CRISTIN SEVERANCE RIGHT NOW!"

I want to bash the wife for this fiasco too, but I can't because I don't know her motives.  I severely question them, but I can't call her an attention whore (theory) without knowing her true intentions (fact).  Throwing out harmful conjecture without doing my due diligence would be downright irresponsible, wouldn't it?

Which is where Cristin Severance comes in.  The mom contacted the station and "hard-hitting" reporter Ms. Severance ran with it because, hey, she needs exposure, they need ratings, and it sounded acceptably juicy.  Reporters don't need evidence to run stories these days.  Evidence?  We don't need no stinking evidence.  Evidence is for juries.

So the national media picked up on it, took it as gospel, and then we get idiot backlash like the kind we got from Rob Parker of BSPN-NY in this article:

Cleveland fans, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Very ashamed.

The boy went to the game at Cleveland Browns Stadium in a Jets jersey with his father, who was born in New York. Despite the Jets' 26-20 OT victory, the crowd was just fine inside the stadium, according to the boy's mother.

But once they went outside, things turned ugly.

Reportedly, there was name-calling and food-throwing at the kid outside.

Then out of nowhere, some clown filled with liquid courage ran up behind the kid and tackled him to the ground. The kid was left with a scraped and bruised ankle. Now, the kid never wants to go to a game at Browns Stadium again.

You hate to paint an entire city with a broad brush. But in this case, you just have to. This might be the meanest, dirtiest thing to happen in sports.

Soooooo... every Cleveland fan, and pretty much the entire city of Cleveland, is at fault here?

How would you like it, Rob, if we applied the same logic that an entire city is to blame for the actions of one of its number to, say, race?  I doubt you - or anyone - would be comfortable with a piece that went like this:

Black men, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Very ashamed.

Ron Goldman went to visit his friend, Nicole Brown, who he may have been nailing. Despite Nicole's marital status, she and her ex had been separated for quite some time, according to the boy's mother.

But once he got there, things turned ugly.

Reportedly, there was name-calling and food-throwing and some knife-wielding. 

Then out of nowhere, some clown filled with jealous rage ran up behind the kid and stabbed him to the ground. The kid was left with a scraped and bruised ankle. Oh, and also dead. Now, the kid never will get to go to a game at Browns Stadium.

You hate to paint an entire race with a broad brush. But in this case, you just have to. This might be the meanest, dirtiest thing to happen in marital estrangement.

You see, generalizing an entire population by the actions of one individual is completely idiotic.  It's like saying that - because I'm a redhead - I'm responsible for what Lindsay Lohan does.  Or - because I'm a man - I'm responsible for what Ben Roethlisberger does.  Or - because I have toes - I'm responsible for what Osama Bin Laden does.

What's even more idiotic is that you're generalizing a population because of an event that probably never happened.

But, since all we need these days is a witness-less third party account of an incident to make it Truth, Cristin and Rob get their names in highlights for an extra day.  This despite the fact that they both attended a recent Satanic Orgy Fundraiser for Al Qaeda.

My friend Al heard it from his friend Lou who heard it from his boss who heard it from Pierce Brosnan who heard it from a guy who was driving by and saw them go in... so it must be true.

Oh, and let me tell you a story about Richard Gere and a gerbil...