Written by Matt Vann

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There are 120 universities which field a varsity team in the Football Bowl Subdivision of the NCAA.  All of these schools have some type of mascot or nickname, ranging from the Aggies to the Zips. There is an online quiz on the site Sporcle.com in which you are challenged to name all 120 mascots in 12 minutes. I ended up knowing most of the nicknames and although I ran out of time I still managed to score in the nineties (Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks? Really? Who knew outside of north Louisiana?)

Every one of those schools also has some type of president or chancellor or HMFIC. I can name only two out of 120 - Donna Shalala at the University of Miami and Gordon Gee at the Ohio State University. I am not really sure how I know of Shalala, other than she served in the Clinton administration and is currently receiving fan mail from Donald Trump urging her to hire Mike Leach as football coach. Gordon Gee has been in the news recently as well, for all the wrong reasons.

Dr. Gee was interviewed by the Associated Press the week of the OSU Michigan game. He managed to step far beneath his position as president of the school which currently has the largest athletic budget in the NCAA. "Well, I don't know enough about the X's and O's of college football," he said.  "I do know, having been both a Southeastern Conference president and a Big Ten president that it's like murderer's row every week for these schools. We do not play the Little Sisters of the Poor. We play very fine schools on any given day.

"So I think until a university runs through that gantlet that there's some reason to believe that they not be the best teams to [be] in the big ballgame."

Most fans of teams in BCS conferences felt Gee had spoken the truth and applauded that a university president was unafraid to state publically what most big school programs felt privately.  The fact that Ohio State’s strength of schedule is comparable to those of both Boise State and TCU was lost on most. And had that been the athletic director or SID talking it would have been controversial but not ridiculous. Unfortunately, that was not the case. The interview made Dr. Gee seem arrogant and woefully out of touch. Why an intelligent man who has held more university presidencies than any other American felt the need to open his mouth and unintentionally demean the Ohio State football program is incomprehensible to me. Perhaps he was asked the question by the interviewer and didn’t want to seem evasive.  Regardless, I continued to cringe until Dr. Gee issued a huge mea culpa a few days later, when he told the Columbus Dispatch, "What do I know about college football? I look like Orville Redenbacher. I have no business talking about college football.  I'm very blessed to have the best athletic director and best football coach in the country,” Gee was reported as saying. "They run the athletic program and I run the university, and I should have stayed out of there. What I should do is go over to the surgical suites and get my foot extricated from my mouth."

As poorly as Dr. Gee appeared with his first comments, he more than redeemed himself. Unlike so many prominent public figures, he refused to hide behind his staff or continue to support an un-supportable position. He came clean, admitted he spoke out of turn, and ended up looking more like a real human being as opposed to an academic. Now, Gordon, about that playoff that you so strongly oppose……………

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The Thanksgiving holiday meant some of the view crew was off to the wilds of the Texas hill country, so a much smaller crowd convened for Ohio State Michigan, bloody marys and beer can chicken.  Not only did I thoroughly enjoy the game, I liked watching the reactions of the guys I was with even more. One play that has stayed in my mind happened late in the first half on a 3rd and 5 from the Michigan 33. The score was 17-7 at the time, and there were two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year. Wait, no, that’s not quite right. There were two lost souls who felt if Michigan could only stop the Buckeyes at that point the game was still up for grabs. A Michigan blitz off the corner came in untouched, and one guy is already shouting “got him” as Pryor steps up to avoid the sack, sprints right, and fires a dart to Posey for a 33 yard catch and run TD and a 24-7 lead. “You don’t watch a lot of Ohio State football, do you?” I mocked.

The real secret to beer can chicken is……….there is no secret to beer can chicken.  All you will need is a whole chicken, a can of beer, some butter or oil, and herbs and spices. No measuring, no quantities, no standing over the stove. The oven will suffice but a grill is preferred. Charcoal or gas, it matters not.

Simply wash the bird inside and out and pat dry. Rub lightly with oil or butter and then sprinkle with any type of spice or rub you desire – salt and pepper or old bay or Cajun or a combination. The funkier the better. Next, open a can of beer, take a big swig or two, and then pour some of your favorite wing sauce or hot sauce into the can.  Leave a room at the top so it doesn’t boil over when on the grill. I like to place a sprig of fresh rosemary in the can as well. Light the grill, and place the chicken, breast up/cavity down, over the opened can of beer/wing sauce. The chicken is now upright, supported by the can and the two legs. Adjust the depth of the can inside the cavity so bird+can combo is balanced. I have cooked these over direct and indirect heat, and both ways come out fine. Direct heat means you place the bird+can directly over the fire/coals, while indirect means you turn off one the burners or move the coals to one side. Either way you will want medium heat and the grill closed.  Essentially, you are using your grill as an oven and need to keep the temperature around 350. Check every so often to ensure even browning and rotate if required.

The beer/wing sauce combo in the can keeps the interior of the chicken unbelievably moist while the oil or butter and spice run on the outside deliver a crispy, well seasoned skin. Leave on the grill until the breast meat reached 165 F, about 75 to 90 minutes. A pair of tongs and oven mitts are helpful when pulling the can out of the chicken. Let rest for 10 minutes and then feast.

Did you know that if you had started eating beer can chicken once a week beginning after the last time Michigan beat Ohio State, you would have now enjoyed this delicious meal a total of 364 times?  It never gets old, does it?