Written by Brian McPeek

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It’s been a long few weeks people. If it wasn’t Columbus for a volleyball tournament it was to Canton, MI or Mansfield, OH for soccer tournaments. So we’ll get back into a Weekend Wrap groove starting now, but we’ll get back into it slowly. Let’s look at the coughing and sputtering Tribe, the Cavs’ misfortunes and a few other things. Or, as the great Hal Lebovitz would say, a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

The Cavs

~ To paraphrase Sean Connery from “The Untouchables”: it’s just like the Cavs to bring a knife to a gun fight. It’s so very Cavalier of the franchise to somehow end up with the fourth pick in a three player draft. I’m not really sure what they’ll end up doing but I can tell you that after Anthony Davis, Bradley Beal and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist the drop in talent is substantial.

It’s right there at that Cavs spot in the draft where the “ifs” and the questions outweigh the knowledge that you’re getting a legit NBA starter and potential star. Harrison Barnes is a highly regarded shooter from North Carolina who shot poorly in nearly every game I watched him play. He had a miserable NCAA tournament and he’s a catch and shoot guy that just doesn’t do much for me. Thomas Robinson and Andre Drummond are… blechh…

Remember last year’s fourth pick? Yeah…Tristan Thompson-like is what I’d consider this year’s fourth pick to be too. The Cavs needed to end up with nothing worse that one of the top three picks to ensure they got a quality player to pair with Kyrie Irving.

It just didn’t happen.

And for those bellowing for the team to move up to #3 by using the 24^th pick in the first round? Get real. This isn’t the NFL and that pick plus the two second round picks wouldn’t be enough for any team with brains to make that move. If you’re honestly believing that the 4^th plus the 24^th will get you one of three ‘elite’ prospects in the draft you should have your fan card pulled and you punched in the zipper.

The Cavs could probably entice someone to take the 4^th and Andy Varejao to move up a spot. It would take that kind of move. The problem with that is the teams ahead of the Cavs, although they’d love a guy like Varejao, don’t need a guy like Varejao, who is best served going to a contender and rounding out a winning roster with hustle and rebounds. So you don’t take a hustle and rebound player and an incomplete player/question mark with the fourth pick when you suck badly enough to have been a top three lottery team to begin with.

That’s why the Cavs are in trouble.

Do they have a chance at one of the top three? Yes, they do.

Teams that finish poorly enough to have top three lottery odds are typically run by people not as smart and not as bright as teams that finish out of lottery contention. One of the teams ahead of the Cavs on draft night might be stupid enough or have a GM arrogant enough to make a mistake and take Drummond or Robinson over one of the three surer picks. I’d bet Charlotte if I was a gambling man but you should be aware that as bad an NBA executive as Michael Jordan is, he’s not the Bobcats GM. Rich Cho is the GM.

What would need to happen is Cho and Jordan disagreeing as to which player to select with Jordan wanting one of the guys outside our top three. Cho would likely object and rightfully so. He would then be overruled by one of the league’s most noted megalomaniacs and one of the Cavs better options would fall to them at #4.

Could it happen? Yes. Is it likely? I’m not sure even Jordan is that dumb or arrogant to mess this up. But there’s always a chance Michael will be unavailable during the draft due to a golf outing running long or that he thinks Barnes is a knock down, dead nuts winner from North Carolina who just needs the chance to prove it.

But when the combinations came up snake eyes for the Cavs last Wednesday their chances to get appreciably better took a big hit.

~ And for God sake people, stop with the ‘The draft lottery is rigged!!!’ shit. 95% of the fools screaming about this have no idea how the lottery even works. Many believes there are ping pong balls in the hopper with each team’s name on them. That the representative amount of  team-logo balls, determined by percentages awarded each spot in the lottery,  is swirled around and pop out. Or that there is still some Wickliffe Church Festival-type golden hopper that is filled with envelopes, churned like butter and some seedy mayoral looking dude in a bow tie picks the frozen envelope and sets about the dastardly fix.

No.

There are 10 balls in the lottery-like machine. They’re numbered 0-9. Four of them are chosen on every draw. That creates a four number combination like 4-2-8-1. Each team has already been assigned their lottery corresponding number of combinations. For example, the Cavs had roughly a 13% chance of ‘earning’ the top pick this season. That means out of the 9,999 potential number combinations the Cavs were assigned approximately 1,300 of them.

The balls are drawn, the number is matched up with the number on the board and the team holding that number gets that pick.

If you want to argue that the league should look to be transparent about it, go ahead. I’m fine with that. If you want to argue that it’d be exciting to watch, then I’m sorry for your pathetic life. Casual fans wouldn’t watch or would turn off after the first pick (which needs to be selected first) was done.

The NBA doesn’t show you how the sausage is made because it’s freaking boring and nowhere close to exciting. The NBA isn’t in a hurry for transparency because the idea that the process is fixed is ignorant. I’d be fine with them being more transparent but only because it might shut up the mouth breathers or at least push them onto some other subject for a while.

The Tribe

~ I’m now officially scared shitless in regard to the Indians starting pitcher. Much like the Cavs with the fourth pick, something good could happen with the starting pitching. It’s not completely impossible for Ubaldo’s head to be dislodged from his ass or for Justin Masterson to eat some UnSuck and get back to 2011 Masterson. It’s possible Derek Lowe will continue on his Cy Young pace and that Jeanmar Gomez hit just a little bump in the road on his way to 15 wins.

About the only guy I’m not concerned about is Josh Tomlin because he is what he’s always been and what he’s always likely to be: a fourth or fifth starter who throws tons of strikes and occasionally watches some of those go over the wall.

But the Indians can’t win even this winnable division with the crap they’re getting from their first two starters. For God’s sake, I heard on the radio Sunday that Ubaldo’s ERA since the trade is over 8.00. I mention that only because it’s funny and not true but that didn’t stop Ken Silverstein from saying it more than once.

Jimenez had a 5.10 ERA with the Indians last season. His ERA this season is 5.79. Hopefully I don’t have to explain how stupid the radio people are in this town other than to say given the numbers I provided it’s literally impossible for Ubaldo to have an ERA of 8.00 or above.

But he has blown. There’s no arguing that point. And now his stench has infested Masterson with the same smell and that is very bad if you’re a Tribe fan. That three game sweep of the Tigers is a distant memory. Fans shouting about playoffs and about the Tribe asserting themselves atop the division seem really stupid after the Indians spent the last 10 days being swept by Chicago and losing two of three to AL Central scum Kansas City and Minnesota (proud owners of the ‘Worst Team in Baseball before feasting on Tribe flesh this weekend).

I think it’s a good time to show genuine concern now that we can’t crow about beating the bums and playing the contenders even. That’s not working out. It’s also why hundreds of thousands of people didn’t go to Progressive Field over the first 32 home games. A lot of them had a feeling that this team was this team.

It doesn’t get any easier (it rarely does when your pitching sucks) given the Indians go to Detroit, St. Louis and Cincinnati over the next nine days.

I’m actually looking forward to the pitcher hitting in the next nine games. Mostly because I want to see if there’s a difference between the pitcher hitting and Lou Marson, Matt LaPorta or Johnny Damon hitting. I’m betting we’ll hardly notice the difference.

~ Anyone who believes Matt LaPorta is suddenly a major league-caliber hitter probably believes the NBA draft is fixed.

~ We’re getting closer and closer every day to Grady Sizemore’s next season-ending injury. Can’t you just feel the excitement?

The Browns

~  Dear Browns Management: There’s a mandatory mini-camp beginning Tuesday and I’m hoping you just end the charade and give Brandon Weeden all the first team snaps. Stop with the alternating or letting Colt McCoy have first crack at the two-minute drill. Just give Weeden the damn ball and the damn team and see if he can play.

Seriously, quit messing this shit up with the coy little games and get out of the way. The McCoy situation was fubared from the get-go and there’s no need to mess up the beginning of the Weeden era either. You drafted a 50-year old freaking rookie QB. He has to play. Quit jerking around and let him play. Because he’s either going to be the guy or the next regime running the Browns will be picking the guy when your stupid asses are gone.

Mmmkay?

Thanks,

Brian