Let’s assume, just for the sake of argument, that we’re all not inherently racist.

Let’s assume that there’s ultimately nothing wrong with slapping a cap with an undeniably offensive caricature on our heads before heading out to Home Depot to pick up lawn bags on a Saturday morning.

Let’s assume that the Washington Redskins’ general manager didn’t look like a knuckle-dragging nincompoop last week for refusing to even discuss changing his team’s preposterously inflammatory nickname. And just ignore the fact that most people who live in the world capital of political correctness are perfectly fine with that.

Let’s assume the Atlanta Braves overreacted last week when they decided against using its - and this, I shit you not, is actually what it’s called - “screaming savage” team logo on its batting-practice caps after enough people complained.

And ultimately - again for the sake of argument - let’s say that there’s nothing wrong with good old Chief Wahoo.

I certainly don’t want to get into the sports-mascot debate that has been ignited and extinguished hundreds of times since we decided, as a group, that burning crosses on people’s lawns wasn’t just a quaint little snapshot of boys being boys. The quest to get America to stop celebrating caffeine-free apartheid just because it’s the right thing to do has gone nowhere. Particularly at the professional level, where branding and merchandising are far more important than human dignity or respect for history.

So instead of leading a noble revolution based on respectable motivations, let’s make a case for shitcanning Chief Wahoo based solely on self-interest.

There will be no lectures or guilt trips. If you don’t bring up Louis Sockalexis or the “Indians” nickname, neither will I. Let's stick to the grinning, triangle-eyed apparition that makes us look like idiots to the rest of the world.

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All of the reports coming out of Spring Training tell a tale of an excited team, fired up by an offseason that included the acquisitions of Nick Swisher, Mark Reynolds, Michael Bourn, and Terry Francona. Playing the roles of Debbie Downer, Wet Blanket, Facepalm, Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot, and Swift Kick in the Genitals are the starting pitchers. The assumption is that the starting rotation will be what prevents the Indians from having the ability to contend for a playoff spot. On paper, it’s certainly not an impressive list, especially with two of the five spots currently unaccounted for, and the three spots that are accounted for are leaving us with the same sense of security that a small child left alone in a room with a rabid Rottweiler would have.

But, is it really that bad? Many in the baseball community believe that the Indians rotation is something that would come out of the backside of the aforementioned Rottweiler. That group includes media members, stat geeks, and, well, pretty much everybody who has an opinion on baseball. The biggest issue with the starting rotation is the top of it. As #1 and #2 starters, Justin Masterson and Ubaldo Jimenez fall under the category of mediocre-to-awful. As a #3 starter, Masterson would be viewed as an asset, and probably slightly above average. Jimenez’s reputation in the baseball community may be beyond repair at this point.

There’s no way around the fact that the Indians do not stack up with the other American League teams at the top of their rotation. They don’t necessarily need a Justin Verlander or Felix Hernandez, but, they need somebody to rely on, who can at least play the role of an ace periodically. That pitcher, currently, does not exist.

With the offseason upgrades to the lineup, the Indians’ rotation will have to be good (for their standards), but not great, for the team to have a chance at sneaking into the playoffs, especially with the benefit of the second wild card. Everybody points to the 2012 season, where the rotation was historically bad, as what to expect again in 2013. Personally, I don’t see that as the case.

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Boy this feels good, it feels familiar. It feels as if things are back to normal. Almost. Not quite, but we're getting there.

And we are getting there because I don't have to talk about rumors, entertain random stories about sitting in traffic and seeing a Red Sox license plate that says A GON 28 (bad timing on that dude's part), or jump up and down about moves the Indians make

Yeah about that last one. This is the first offseason we've ever really been able to do that and do it multiple times, and guess what? We get to do it one more time as Spring gets underway! So why should I waste time? Not only do I get to jump, I have a whole bunch of note-worthy notes for your perusal, and because you care, what I really think about them.

Now do the Harlem Shake!

[NOT ANOTHER BOURN PUN]

I'll save you the Bourn puns, because as fun as Nick Swisher signing around Christmas was, everyone is loving playing with Michael Bourn and his really cool last name. Not to mention the fact that he runs really fast.

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With their projected starting rotation, it’s unlikely that the Indians have delusions of grandeur about their chances of winning the American League Central Division. It will take quite a bit of overachieving from a group featuring Justin Masterson as its de facto ace for the Indians to truly challenge the Detroit Tigers. That hasn’t stopped the front office from spending a lot of money to improve the lineup and add a veteran starting pitcher to the rotation. A lot of people have criticized the Indians for spending so much money when they have too many holes to contend, but they’re using recent history as a guide. Very recent history, in fact. As recent as the 2012 season.

On April 4, 2012, ESPN.com posted their “expert” predictions for the division winners, wild cards, playoff series winners, and the World Series winner. Fifty “experts” from various baseball backgrounds, including former players Aaron Boone, Doug Glanville, Rick Sutcliffe, and Curt Schilling, ESPN personalities Karl Ravech, Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, and Keith Law, sabermetric minds Dave Cameron of Fangraphs, Jonah Keri of Grantland, and Dan Szymborski of Baseball Think Factory, and even new Tribe skipper Terry Francona, all submitted their picks. Not one picked the Baltimore Orioles or the Oakland Athletics to make the playoffs.

The 2012 season was the first season that saw two wild card teams participate in a play-in round to see who would make it into the divisional series. This opened up a new world of possibilities for the teams in each league. In some divisions, under the old format, the only way to make the playoffs was by winning your division. The payroll disparities in baseball made it hard for smaller market teams to have a shot at the playoffs. This play-in round would change that, giving David one chance to slay Goliath and gain entry into the postseason.

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