Young Lars was not much of the athlete. I was younger than everyone by about a year and a half, as a result of having a late birthday and skipping a grade early on, which certainly didn’t help matters much, but fact is that I was a skinny geeky awkward kid, and, well, not much has changed to be honest.
When it came time to give the teachers an opportunity to smoke, or do Jagermeister shots, or whatever they did to relieve the pain caused by monitoring 30 or so hellions on behalf of the state for eight hours a day, they would release us to the black top with a bunch of red balls, and let nature take its course.
That meant dodgeball, the grade school embodiment of the theory of natural selection, and it meant young Lars would have to endure the humiliation of being the last pick (girls included) more often than not when sides were being drawn in the conflict. And since I wasn’t good at running, or throwing, or catching, it meant a lot of dodgeballs to the head (sometimes gratuitously in actions that would lead to $20,000 fines in the NFL today), a lot of pain, and a healthy dose of humiliation.
Is there such a thing as guaranteed money in gambling? Most people will tell you no. No matter how good of a card counter you are, no matter what strategy you use at the roulette table, and no matter how many times you play the pass line, the house edge will always find a way to catch up with you. Sure, there are plenty of ways to reduce the house edge, and some optimal strategies at video poker can give the player an edge over the house. Even still, no session is ever guaranteed money.
Last Saturday, it was my friend Chris’ birthday, and after a morning workout, we had gone to lunch at a wonderful local burger joint, 
My current job can best be described as an independent entrepreneur, which makes the ubiquitous “what do you do for a living” question an awkward interrogative for me to respond to in a clear, concise, and non-rambling manner. I chose this course of action for a number of reasons, with certainly the potential to hit the proverbial (and, from my experience, mythical) home run so I can get out of the grind being near the top of the list. But more, I like the freedom being my own boss affords me. No irrational requests from egomaniacal sociopaths, no more fighting bureaucracy to make a simple and obvious decision, and no more worrying what to do with all my extra income, because there isn’t any. Wait, that last piece sucks. But I digress.