Written by Jonathan Knight

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Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse.

We just watched the guy who shanked us and took our wallet buy a lottery ticket with our cash and win four billion dollars. And when we called the cops, they told us to get over it and move on.

So congratulations, Baltimore!

Thanks to the 49ers...rather, thanks to the Ravens, the gleaming city along the Chesapeake dropped from No. 30 in the Sports Misery Index to dead last at No. 62 in the latest edition, taking away San Antonio’s claim as the least miserable sports city in North America.

Even more telling, with its ninth world title, Baltimore’s championship saturation now ranks among the top 10 of all eligible cities, quickly closing in on fellow East Coast behemoths Boston and New York.

If you’re looking for a silver lining (though you’re no doubt exhausted from doing so), on the grand scale it’s actually more appropriate that Baltimore won the Super Bowl than San Francisco, which has held two World Series victory parades in the past three years. So there’s that.

For more details on the rationale between determining the factors that go into calculating the Index - which mirrors the U.S. economic Misery Index (inflation rate + unemployment rate), click here for a previous TCF column outlining the origin of the Sports Misery Index.

Probably not much need to point out which city remains the most miserable in America, nor that the Browns’ most recent outhouse-tipping extends Cleveland’s streak of championship-less seasons to a pathetic 137.

Indeed, Cleveland remains atop the Sports Misery Index, now scoring a 233.86 (compared to Baltimore’s 92.8). The rest of the top five also stays put: San Diego (201), Seattle (196.13), Buffalo (196), and Minneapolis (173.02).

Let’s see how the current Index breaks down, first by looking at the two factors individually: Drought Factor and non-title percentage.

 

NEXT IN LINE

Ranking the Cities by Drought Factor

Here’s a list of the cities by highest Drought Factor – how many seasons (not years) each has endured since winning a world title.

For example, Cleveland’s Drought Factor is now 137: when you combine the Browns, Indians, Cavs, and don’t forget the Barons’ two NHL seasons, Cleveland teams have now played 137 consecutive seasons without winning a title.

The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.

1.CLEVELAND [137]

Last world title: Browns 1964

 

2.SAN DIEGO [101]

Last world title: never

 

3.SEATTLE [97]

Last world title: SuperSonics 1978-79

 

4.BUFFALO [96]

Last world title: never

 

5.MINNEAPOLIS [77]

Last world title: Twins 1991

 

6.WASHINGTON [70]

Last world title: Redskins 1991

 

7.ATLANTA [64]

Last world title: Braves 1995

 

8.KANSAS CITY [55]

Last world title: Royals 1985

 

9.TORONTO [54]

Last world title: Blue Jays 1993

 

10.HOUSTON [48]

Last world title: Rockets 1994-95

 

11.VANCOUVER [47]

Last world title: none

 

t12.CINCINNATI [45]

Last world title: Reds 1990

 

t12.DENVER [45]

Last world title: Avalanche 2000-01

 

14.PHOENIX [44]

Last world title: Diamondbacks 2001

 

15.OAKLAND [41]

Last world title: Athletics 1989

 

16.CHARLOTTE [40]

Last world title: none

 

17.PORTLAND [35]

Last world title: Trail Blazers 1976-77

 

18.SALT LAKE CITY [33]

Last world title: none

 

19.MONTREAL [30]

Last world title: Canadiens 1992-93

 

t20.NASHVILLE [29]

Last world title: none

 

t20.TAMPA BAY [29]

Last world title: Buccaneers 2002

 

22.SACRAMENTO [27]

Last world title: none

 

23.OTTAWA [26]

Last world title: Senators 1926-27

 

24.ORLANDO [23]

Last world title: none

 

25.CALGARY [22]

Last world title: Flames 1988-89

 

26.EDMONTON [21]

Last world title: Oilers 1989-90

 

27.SAN JOSE [20]

Last world title: none

 

t28.*HARTFORD [18]

Last world title: none

 

t28.JACKSONVILLE [18]

Last world title: none

 

t28.DETROIT [18]

Last world title: Red Wings 2007-08

 

t31.*QUEBEC [17]

Last world title: none

 

t31.*WINNIPEG [17]

Last world title: none

 

t31.NEWARK [17]

Last world title: Devils 2002-03

 

t31.PHILADELPHIA [17]

Last world title: Phillies 2008

 

35.CHICAGO [13]

Last world title: Blackhawks 2009-10

 

36.INDIANAPOLIS [12]

Last world title: Colts 2006

 

t37.COLUMBUS [11]

Last world title: none

 

t37.MEMPHIS [11]

Last world title: none

 

t37.PITTSBURGH [11]

Last world title: Penguins 2008-09

 

40.*FORT WAYNE [9]

Last world title: none

 

41.*SYRACUSE [8]

Last world title: Nationals 1954-55

 

42.NEW YORK [7]

Last world title: Giants 2011

 

t43.*ROCHESTER [6]

Last world title: Royals 1950-51

 

t43.RALEIGH [6]

Last world title: Hurricanes 2005-06

 

t43.NEW ORLEANS [6]

Last world title: Saints 2009

 

t43.MILWAUKEE [6]

Last world title: Packers 2010

 

t43.DALLAS [6]

Last world title: Mavericks 2010-11

 

t43.BOSTON [6]

Last world title: Bruins 2010-11

 

t49.*HAMILTON [5]

Last world title: none

 

t49.SAN ANTONIO [5]

Last world title: Spurs (2006-07)

 

t51.OKLAHOMA CITY [4]

Last world title: none

 

t51.ST. LOUIS [4]

Last world title: Cardinals 2011

 

53.*PROVIDENCE [3]

Last world title: none

 

t54.*TRI-CITIES [2]

(Moline, Ill., Rock Island, Ill., Davenport, Ia.)

Last world title: none

 

t54.LOS ANGELES [2]

Last world title: Kings 2011-12

 

t54.MIAMI [2]

Last world title: Heat 2011-12

 

t55*ANDERSON [1]

Last world title: none

 

t55.*SHEBOYGAN [1]

Last world title: none

 

t55.*WATERLOO [1]

Last world title: none

 

t55.*PORTSMOUTH [1]

Last world title: none

 

t55.SAN FRANCISCO [1]

Last world title: Giants 2012

 

62.BALTIMORE [0]

Last world title: Ravens 2012

 

CHAMPIONSHIP SATURATION

Measuring the Cities by Their Percentage of Title Seasons

Here’s a list of the cities by highest title percentage – number of a city’s world-title seasons divided by number of total seasons.

For instance, Cleveland teams have played a combined 223 seasons, seven of which have ended with a world title. Thus of all the seasons in Cleveland history, 3.14% have ended with a championship.

The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.

1.Montreal 18.62%

2.Edmonton 15.63%

3.San Antonio 11.11%

4.*Rochester 11.11%

5.Toronto 10.14%

6.Boston 9.24%

7.New York 8.55%

8.Ottawa 8.33%

9.Baltimore 7.20%

10.Raleigh 7.14%

11.*Syracuse 7.14%

12.Oakland 6.82%

13.Detroit 6.69%

14.Milwaukee 6.52%

15.Los Angeles 6.43%

16.Pittsburgh 5.86%

17.Miami 5.51%

18.Chicago 4.98%

19.St. Louis 4.85%

20.Dallas 4.83%

21.San Francisco 4.76%

22.Newark 4.69%

23.Philadelphia 4.29%

24.Minneapolis 3.98%

25.Calgary 3.23%

26.Denver 3.18%

27.Cleveland 3.14%

28.Washington 2.99%

29.Cincinnati 2.92%

30.Portland 2.38%

31.Kansas City 1.68%

32.New Orleans 1.64%

33.Houston 1.49%

34.Indianapolis 1.43%

35.Tampa Bay 1.41%

36.Phoenix 1.01%

37.Seattle 0.87%

38.Atlanta 0.64%

t39.San Diego 0%

Buffalo 0%

Vancouver 0%

Charlotte 0%

Salt Lake City 0%

Sacramento 0%

Nashville 0%

Orlando 0%

*Hartford 0%

San Jose 0%

*Quebec 0%

*Winnipeg 0%

Jacksonville 0%

*Fort Wayne 0%

Columbus 0%

Memphis 0%

Oklahoma City 0%

*Hamilton 0%

*Providence 0%

*Tri-Cities 0%

*Anderson 0%

*Sheboygan 0%

*Waterloo 0%

*Portsmouth 0%

 

THE SPORTS MISERY INDEX

And here it is – the updated Sports Misery Index, measured by adding a city’s non-title percentage to its number of consecutive non-title seasons.

The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.

1. CLEVELAND (233.86)

96.86 + 137

2. SAN DIEGO (201)

100 + 101

3. SEATTLE (196.13)

99.13 + 97

4. BUFFALO (196)

100 + 96

5. MINNEAPOLIS (173.02)

96.02 + 77

6. WASHINGTON (167.01)

97.01 + 70

7. ATLANTA (163.36)

99.36 + 64

8. KANSAS CITY (153.32)

98.32 + 55

9. VANCOUVER (147)

100 + 47

10. HOUSTON (146.51)

98.51 + 48

11. TORONTO (143.86)

89.86 + 54

12. PHOENIX (142.99)

98.99 + 44

13. CINCINNATI (142.08)

97.08 + 45

14. DENVER (141.82)

96.82 + 45

15. CHARLOTTE (140)

100 + 40

16. OAKLAND (134.18)

93.18 + 41

17. SALT LAKE CITY (133)

100 + 33

18. PORTLAND (132.62)

97.62 + 35

19. NASHVILLE (129)

100 + 29

20. TAMPA BAY (127.59)

98.59 + 29

21.SACRAMENTO (127)

100 + 27

22. ORLANDO (123)

100 + 23

23. SAN JOSE (120)

100 + 20

24. CALGARY (118.77)

96.77 + 22

t25. *HARTFORD (118)

100 + 18

t25. JACKSONVILLE (118)

100 + 18

27. OTTAWA (117.67)

91.67 + 26

t28.*QUEBEC (117)

100 + 17

t28.*WINNIPEG (117)

100 + 17

30. PHILADELPHIA (112.71)

95.71 + 17

31. NEWARK (112.31)

95.31 + 17

32. MONTREAL (111.38)

81.38 + 30

33. DETROIT (111.31)

93.31 + 18

t34. COLUMBUS (111)

100 + 11

t34. MEMPHIS (111)

100 + 11

36. INDIANAPOLIS (110.57)

98.57 + 12

37. *FORT WAYNE (109)

100 + 9

38. CHICAGO (108.02)

95.02 + 13

39. EDMONTON (105.37)

84.37 + 21

40. PITTSBURGH (105.14)

94.14 + 11

41. *HAMILTON (105)

100 + 5

42. NEW ORLEANS (104.36)

98.36 + 6

43. OKLAHOMA CITY (104)

100 + 4

44. *PROVIDENCE (103)

100 + 3

45. *TRI-CITIES (102)

100 + 2

46. DALLAS (101.17)

95.17 + 6

t47. *ANDERSON (101)

100 + 1

t47. *SHEBOYGAN (101)

100 + 1

t47. *WATERLOO (101)

100 +1

t47. *PORTSMOUTH, OHIO (101)

100 + 1

51. *SYRACUSE (100.86)

92.86 + 8

52. MILWAUKEE (99.48)

93.48 + 6

53. ST. LOUIS (99.13)

95.15 + 4

54. RALEIGH (98.86)

92.86 + 6

55. NEW YORK (98.45)

91.45 + 7

56. BOSTON (96.76)

90.76 + 6

57. MIAMI (96.49)

94.49 + 2

58. SAN FRANCISCO (96.24)

95.24 + 1

59. LOS ANGELES (95.57)

93.57 + 2

60. *ROCHESTER (94.89)

88.89 + 6

61. SAN ANTONIO (93.89)

88.89 + 5

62. BALTIMORE (92.8)

92.80 + 0

 

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