Just as there’s a concern in American economic terms over the widening gulf between the haves and the have nots, the final phases of baseball’s postseason were simply exercises in allowing decidedly non-miserable sports towns to feel even better about themselves.
Three of the final four cities with baseball teams left standing (Boston, St. Louis, and Los Angeles) had all captured world titles within the last three years, and the fourth (Detroit) had waited only five years since its last downtown victory parade.
So with Boston’s latest coronation - the 35th world title in the city’s sports history - it only dropped six spots on the Sports Misery Index to earn the moniker as the least miserable sports city in North America, bumping off Baltimore.
But weep not for St. Louis, which holds steady at No. 54 - just eight spots ahead of Boston.
For more details on the rationale between determining the factors that go into calculating the Index - which mirrors the U.S. economic Misery Index (inflation rate + unemployment rate), click here for a previous TCF column outlining the origin of the Sports Misery Index.
It goes without saying that Cleveland remains atop the list of bridesmaids, with its string of championship-less seasons now standing at 139.
C-Town now tallies a Misery Index score of 235.89 (compared to Boston’s 90.57). San Diego remains second in the misery measurement, with Seattle leap-frogging Buffalo for the third spot and Minneapolis rounding out the top five.
Let’s see how the current Index breaks down, first by looking at the two factors individually: Drought Factor and non-title percentage.
NEXT IN LINE
Ranking the Cities by Drought Factor
Here’s a list of the cities by highest Drought Factor – how many seasons (not years) each has endured since winning a world title.
For example, Cleveland’s Drought Factor is now 139: when you combine the Browns, Indians, Cavs, and don’t forget the Barons’ two NHL seasons, Cleveland teams have now played 139 consecutive seasons without winning a title.
The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.
1.CLEVELAND [139]
Last world title: Browns 1964
2.SAN DIEGO [102]
Last world title: never
t3.SEATTLE [98]
Last world title: SuperSonics 1978-79
t3.BUFFALO [97]
Last world title: never
5.MINNEAPOLIS [80]
Last world title: Twins 1991
6.WASHINGTON [73]
Last world title: Redskins 1991
7.ATLANTA [67]
Last world title: Braves 1995
8.TORONTO [57]
Last world title: Blue Jays 1993
9.KANSAS CITY [56]
Last world title: Royals 1985
10.HOUSTON [50]
Last world title: Rockets 1994-95
11.VANCOUVER [48]
Last world title: none
12.DENVER [48]
Last world title: Avalanche 2000-01
13.PHOENIX [47]
Last world title: Diamondbacks 2001
14.CINCINNATI [46]
Last world title: Reds 1990
t15.OAKLAND [42]
Last world title: Athletics 1989
t15.CHARLOTTE [41]
Last world title: none
17.PORTLAND [36]
Last world title: Trail Blazers 1976-77
18.SALT LAKE CITY [34]
Last world title: none
t19.MONTREAL [31]
Last world title: Canadiens 1992-93
t19.TAMPA BAY [31]
Last world title: Buccaneers 2002
21.NASHVILLE [30]
Last world title: none
22.SACRAMENTO [28]
Last world title: none
23.OTTAWA [27]
Last world title: Senators 1926-27
24.ORLANDO [24]
Last world title: none
25.CALGARY [23]
Last world title: Flames 1988-89
26.EDMONTON [22]
Last world title: Oilers 1989-90
27.SAN JOSE [21]
Last world title: none
28.DETROIT [21]
Last world title: Red Wings 2007-08
29.PHILADELPHIA [20]
Last world title: Phillies 2008
t30.*HARTFORD [18]
Last world title: none
t30.JACKSONVILLE [18]
Last world title: none
t30.NEWARK [18]
Last world title: Devils 2002-03
t33.*QUEBEC [17]
Last world title: none
t33.*WINNIPEG [17]
Last world title: none
t35.INDIANAPOLIS [13]
Last world title: Colts 2006
t35.PITTSBURGH [13]
Last world title: Penguins 2008-09
t35.NEW YORK [13]
Last world title: Giants 2011
t38.COLUMBUS [12]
Last world title: none
t38.MEMPHIS [12]
Last world title: none
t40.*FORT WAYNE [9]
Last world title: none
t40.DALLAS [9]
Last world title: Mavericks 2010-11
t42.*SYRACUSE [8]
Last world title: Nationals 1954-55
t42.MILWAUKEE [8]
Last world title: Packers 2010
t42.LOS ANGELES [8]
Last world title: Kings 2011-12
t45.RALEIGH [7]
Last world title: Hurricanes 2005-06
t45.NEW ORLEANS [7]
Last world title: Saints 2009
t47.*ROCHESTER [6]
Last world title: Royals 1950-51
t47.SAN ANTONIO [6]
Last world title: Spurs 2006-07
t47.ST. LOUIS [6]
Last world title: Cardinals 2011
t50.*HAMILTON [5]
Last world title: none
t50.OKLAHOMA CITY [5]
Last world title: none
t52.*PROVIDENCE [3]
Last world title: none
t52.SAN FRANCISCO [3]
Last world title: Giants 2012
t54.*TRI-CITIES [2]
(Moline, Ill., Rock Island, Ill., Davenport, Ia.)
Last world title: none
t54.CHICAGO [2]
Last world title: Blackhawks 2012-13
t56.*ANDERSON [1]
Last world title: none
t56.*SHEBOYGAN [1]
Last world title: none
t56.*WATERLOO [1]
Last world title: none
t56.*PORTSMOUTH [1]
Last world title: none
t56.BALTIMORE [1]
Last world title: Ravens 2012
t56.MIAMI [1]
Last world title: Heat 2012-13
62.BOSTON [0]
Last world title: Red Sox 2013
CHAMPIONSHIP SATURATION
Measuring the Cities by Their Percentage of Title Seasons
Here’s a list of the cities by highest title percentage – number of a city’s world-title seasons divided by the number of total seasons.
For instance, Cleveland teams have played a combined 225 seasons, seven of which have ended with a world title. Thus, of all the seasons in Cleveland history, 3.11% have ended with a championship, ranking Cleveland 26th on the list.
The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.
1.Montreal 18.49%
2.Edmonton 15.15%
3.*Rochester 11.11%
4.San Antonio 10.81%
5.Toronto 9.93%
6.Boston 9.43%
7.New York 8.47%
8.Ottawa 8.11%
9.Baltimore 7.14%
10.*Syracuse 7.14%
11.Oakland 6.74%
12.Raleigh 6.67%
13.Detroit 6.63%
14.Milwaukee 6.45%
15.Los Angeles 6.31%
16.Miami 6.26%
17.Pittsburgh 5.81%
18.Chicago 5.15%
19.St. Louis 4.82%
20.Dallas 4.73%
21.San Francisco 4.71%
22.Newark 4.62%
23.Philadelphia 4.25%
24.Minneapolis 3.91%
25.Calgary 3.13%
26.Cleveland 3.11%
27.Denver 3.10%
28.Washington 2.95%
29.Cincinnati 2.91%
30.Portland 2.33%
31.Kansas City 1.67%
32.New Orleans 1.61%
33.Houston 1.47%
34.Indianapolis 1.41%
35.Tampa Bay 1.37%
36.Phoenix 0.98%
37.Seattle 0.86%
38.Atlanta 0.63%
t39.San Diego 0%
Buffalo 0%
Vancouver 0%
Charlotte 0%
Salt Lake City 0%
Sacramento 0%
Nashville 0%
Orlando 0%
*Hartford 0%
San Jose 0%
*Quebec 0%
*Winnipeg 0%
Jacksonville 0%
*Fort Wayne 0%
Columbus 0%
Memphis 0%
Oklahoma City 0%
*Hamilton 0%
*Providence 0%
*Tri-Cities 0%
*Anderson 0%
*Sheboygan 0%
*Waterloo 0%
*Portsmouth 0%
THE SPORTS MISERY INDEX
And here it is – the updated Sports Misery Index, measured by adding a city’s non-title percentage to its number of consecutive non-title seasons.
The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.
1. CLEVELAND (235.89)
96.89 + 139
2. SAN DIEGO (202)
100 + 102
3. SEATTLE (197.14)
99.14 + 98
4. BUFFALO (197)
100 + 97
5. MINNEAPOLIS (176.09)
96.09 + 80
6. WASHINGTON (170.05)
97.05 + 73
7. ATLANTA (166.37)
99.37 + 67
8. KANSAS CITY (154.33)
98.33 + 56
9. HOUSTON (148.53)
98.53 + 50
10. VANCOUVER (148)
100 + 48
11. TORONTO (147.07)
90.07 + 57
12. PHOENIX (146.02)
99.02 + 47
13. DENVER (144.90)
96.90 + 48
14. CINCINNATI (143.09)
97.09 + 46
15. CHARLOTTE (141)
100 + 41
16. OAKLAND (135.26)
93.26 + 42
17. SALT LAKE CITY (134)
100 + 34
18. PORTLAND (133.67)
97.67 + 36
19. NASHVILLE (130)
100 + 30
20. TAMPA BAY (129.63)
98.63 + 31
21.SACRAMENTO (128)
100 + 28
22. ORLANDO (124)
100 + 24
23. SAN JOSE (121)
100 + 21
24. CALGARY (119.87)
96.87 + 23
25. OTTAWA (118.89)
91.89 + 27
t26. *HARTFORD (118)
100 + 18
t26. JACKSONVILLE (118)
100 + 18
t28.*QUEBEC (117)
100 + 17
t28.*WINNIPEG (117)
100 + 17
30. PHILADELPHIA (115.75)
95.75 + 20
31. NEWARK (113.38)
95.38 + 18
32. DETROIT (114.37)
93.37 + 21
33. MONTREAL (112.51)
81.51 + 31
t34. COLUMBUS (112)
100 + 12
t34. MEMPHIS (112)
100 + 12
36. INDIANAPOLIS (111.59)
98.59 + 13
37. *FORT WAYNE (109)
100 + 9
38. PITTSBURGH (107.19)
94.19 + 13
39. EDMONTON (106.85)
84.85 + 22
40. NEW ORLEANS (105.39)
98.39 + 7
t41. *HAMILTON (105)
100 + 5
t41. OKLAHOMA CITY (105)
100 + 5
43. NEW YORK (104.53)
91.53 + 13
44. DALLAS (104.27)
95.27 + 9
45. *PROVIDENCE (103)
100 + 3
46. *TRI-CITIES (102)
100 + 2
47. LOS ANGELES (101.69)
93.69 + 8
48. MILWAUKEE (101.55)
93.55 + 8
49. ST. LOUIS (101.18)
95.18 + 6
t50. *ANDERSON (101)
100 + 1
t50.*SHEBOYGAN (101)
100 + 1
t50.*WATERLOO (101)
100 +1
t50.*PORTSMOUTH, OHIO (101)
100 + 1
54. *SYRACUSE (100.86)
92.86 + 8
55. RALEIGH (100.33)
93.33 + 7
56. SAN FRANCISCO (98.29)
95.29 + 3
57. CHICAGO (96.85)
94.85 + 2
58. SAN ANTONIO (95.19)
89.19 + 6
59. *ROCHESTER (94.89)
88.89 + 6
60. MIAMI (94.74)
93.74 + 1
61. BALTIMORE (93.86)
92.86 + 1
62. BOSTON (90.57)
90.57 + 0
​
At the dawn of the new year, Cleveland professional sports fans find two of their three hometown teams in a veritable disarray. The Browns don’t have a head coach or quarterback--or, some would say, a capable front office. The Cavaliers, with a new coaching staff and an unbalanced roster, are in a blue funk, and nobody associated with the team can figure out why.
As a long-suffering Cleveland fan, I was under the impression that our sports franchises could not shock me with any more incredulous displays of stupidity, choking, mismanagement, arrogance, and incompetence than the previous 49 years of pure unadulterated shit had demonstrated. Then, 2013 happened, and I was proven oh so wrong.
It has mostly been a year of non-surprises in Cleveland professional sports. The Browns’ season still consists of 12 months of looking forward to the college draft. The Cavaliers have so much potential and so little to show for it. 
In another life, Cleveland and Detroit could have been the best of friends. They come from similar backgrounds, live a stone’s throw from each other, and get by on the same brand of underdog perseverance. As downtrodden towns with some occasionally downtrodden sports teams, they have taken their turns serving as the punch lines of elitist jokes, always bouncing back from every hit with a blood-soaked smile. Through it all, you’d just assume that the Motor City and the Forest City would understand—maybe even admire—one another. But we know, of course, that this is not quite the case. And sports probably has as much to do with it as anything.