Moot Points

Your jeopardy if you understand any of this.  It’s the less informed version of Roger Brown (if such a thing is possible)… 

League sources tell us that Maria Sharapova is hot. 

Officially, for the record, I don’t give a damn about baseball.  But, if, perchance, I did, I’d really want Albert Pujols on my fantasy team. 

I love mock drafts.  But I won’t ever do one.  Doing a mock draft is like doing an NCAA basketball bracket.  And I think we know how that turned out for almost everyone… 

Ben Roethlisberger is overrated.  And I say that not just because I hate the Steelers.  I say that because… well, OK, I do hate the Steelers. A lot.  And their fans.  And that yellow toilet paper they twirl around at the games… and Hines Ward’s I Just Ate Diamond-Encrusted-Shit smile… and Cowher’s face ass… and dirty stinking ass-licking toothless semi-retarded disposed-foreskin-chewing leprosy-ridden Steelers fans abounding unstabbed all around what should be Cleveland Browns territory… 

Um… what was I talking about? 

Oh yeah.  Joe McCarthy.  If we do not learn from our mistakes… whoa.  Picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue. 

League sources tell us that NASCAR is completely boring. 

I dislike TO personally.  Professionally, I think you’re a fool not to pick him first overall WR in your fantasy league.  And he makes Drew Bledsoe and Julius Jones oh so much more valuable… 

Jay Cutler is 2006’s Kyle Boller (who is my favorite Ravens’ player – I hope he starts for them for 1000 years). 

As a Cleveland fan, I know negativity.  And my ulcer-o-meter tells me that the Cavaliers will be fortunate to emerge from their first round series. 

You know those enlightened individuals that park their precious cars over two spaces because they really want their babies to “protected”?  I think keying their cars is justified. 

I like hockey.  You’d think Cleveland fans would be naturals to embrace professional hockey.  Blood… cold… throwing things onto the ice is generally accepted… 

One might call me foolishly optimistic (actually, no one does call me that, but one might for their own twisted reasons), but I really do think one of the Cleveland teams will win a championship within the next 30 years.   

Yes, I know that is a bold dream.  But I’m a dreamer. 

And I hope it will be the Browns first.  This was, is, and always will remain a Browns Town first and foremost.  You never know when or if it will ever come again.  When you win, you want to win the Big.  You don’t want to throw a parade for the local Professional Indoor Soccer champs. 

Leagues sources tell us it’s time to put away the Scotch and go to bed.