Written by Brian McPeek

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Brian McPeek checks in with the 2008 edition of "Stuffing The Stockings", a piece he does for us every year on Christmas. Peeks hands out some gifts to some of our more notable sports stars here in C-Town, with holiday wishes and presents for LeBron James, Mark Shapiro, and Romeo Crennel among others. MERRY CHRISTMAS from all of us here at the site to you and your loved ones!!

Time flies when you're stuck in a championship-free millennium. It was already a year ago when the original "Stuffing the Stockings" column debuted to such fanfare and acclaim. Some of you may remember that one. That was Christmas Day '07. That was one day after waking up to find the kitten we'd bought for our 3 girls dead of expensively treated unnatural causes. Which, it goes without saying, was also the day after I buried said kitten under the cherry tree and stupidly compensated for the kids' grief by getting them two kittens. 

Well, here we are a year later. Unfortunately there are no dead cats to speak of. But there are gift suggestions for a few Cleveland sports figures. 

So, if I were the Great Claus here's what I'd bring to: 

LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers   

You get nothing sir, other than prayers for good health.  

For the first time since you came into this league I think you have more than enough. Money, fame, talent, defensive intensity and now teammates you can count on. Ironically, all we had to do for you was exchange a few prior gifts that were really crappy. Ones we thought you'd like. Larry Hughes, Damon Jones, Drew Gooden and Donyell Marshall were all neatly wrapped and shipped the hell out of town in exchange for Mo Williams, Delonte West, Ben Wallace and Wally Szczerbiak. You seem to be having so much fun with these new toys that I'm afraid to add anything else for fear of upsetting the balance you've struck with this group. 

Should you get those post-holiday blues I'd consider sending an old friend like Joe Smith back to visit you later in the season.  

Romeo Crennel, Head Coach, Cleveland Browns 

I'm suggesting the perfect gift for Romeo is a Garmin Personal GPS system. Given that the prevailing opinion in this town is that Romeo couldn't coach his way out of a paper bag or locate his ass with both hands I think this little device would come in handy. I will not be goaded by any fans into loading any HomeTown Buffet locations into the device as that would simply be mean and in no way sticking with the holiday spirit. I will, however, program the clock function for Coach Crennel as he has shown no indication that he can manage that himself. 

Mark Shapiro, GM, Cleveland Indians 

It has to be a ‘Way-Back Machine' for the Tribe's head honcho. 

Not to screw with the history of the team in regard to wins and losses or maybe a few missed opportunities in the ALCS holding a 3-1 lead with your ace set to throw. No, not that. 

I'd like Shapiro to dial in April 7, 2006 and just make it all go away. That was the date which will live in infamy for many OCD-addled Tribe fans and board contributors. That was the date when Shapiro ceded to his manager's wishes and dealt Brandon Phillips to the Reds for a minor leaguer.  

You recall it if you're a Tribe fan in general. A terrible deal that you knew right away was a bad move. Then you moved on, ate lunch, dated, had kids and lived a normal life. If you're a regular board reader or contributor you know it far better. Because you read about it every single day and because there are those online who have tattooed the date into their chest and plan memorial vigils on each and every Brandon's Eve, April 6. 

I've gotten to the point where I'd rather the deal was undone as opposed to using the way-back machine on any other single event in Cleveland sports history. Yep, that means ‘The Drive', ‘The Fumble', ‘The Shot' and ‘The Mesa Meltdown' all stay. 

But Brandon Phillips is still here.  

Or at least the deal was never made. For all we know he would have strangled manager Eric Wedge that summer with rawhide glove strings and been sentenced to death by now.  

But we'd be rid of every other radio talk-show caller and message board contributor lamenting is departure and he'd be putting up pedestrian numbers here rather than in Cincinnati. 

TCF Fans, Readers and Forum Members 

Our wish for all of you is a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a healthy and happy 2009. Stay with us here at TCF. We'll continue to bring you the best in opinion pieces, game recaps and Cleveland sports coverage you'll find on the web. 

Peace & Joy.