Written by Cris Sykes

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There's no way to sugar coat it. It's been an ugly week on the forums of The Cleveland Fan. Browns Fan is distraught over another rebuild. Indians Fan is manufacturing things to complain about. And the Cavs forum has become a total trainwreck ... with the average age of contributors seemingly at about 18, and some kind of disturbing hybrid of your average WKNR caller and those idiots that reply under the columns on Cleveland.com. Forum members ... pick up your game. Cris Sykes is angry.

Not Gonna Happen

Anyone looking for the normal Sunday fun little recap of the week that was from the perspective of The Cleveland Fan Message Boards, hit the back button now.   

That is not even close to the location we are heading.  I just got done watching 3:10 To Yuma, and feel an awful lot like Dan Evans.  Beaten down.  I have to say, the threads making up what was once the best and brightest talk of Cleveland sports, has turned into an ugly bastard child of WKNR listeners and Plain Dealer readers/forum users.  Think Kenny Roda and Branson Wright's DNA getting combined in one epic failure of a test tube experiment, while mixing in a little bit of STEPHEN A. SMITH.  Now, once you combine those three, imagine that poster being about 8 years old, with Sam Kinison's attitude and mouth.   

What I am trying to say is, the forums have turned into a train wreck.  It is not the first time, and probably will not be the last time.  As usual, it will not last long.  The one truth about moronic drivel is that it normally comes from morons.  Who get bored.  And find something else to go be morons about.  Or they simply push the limits too far into Idiotville, and get run like Lou Pinella when he has early dinner reservations.  And that single moment, when Captain Moron finally goes Harry Carry, it is usually worth the pain and suffering to witness it.  We actually had one guy beg for banishment, because "he wasn't a strong enough person" to stay away himself. 

I know things are not pretty in Berea these days, so most of the Browns talk falls into one of two categories; 1. Mangini and Kokinis deserve the benefit of the doubt, or 2. Randy Lerner is a silver spooned soccer loving New York City living waste of space, making it nearly impossible to even have hope he lucked into the right hires. 

Draft talk?  Sure, it is being talked about.  Most of the time it turns into, "How are they going to screw this up?" talk though.  So I will save you the hyperlink.  

Free agency?  Since they have signed nobody of significance, it totally means Kokinis isn't trying to improve the team.  And that comes from people who didn't think there was much of interest in this free agent crop, for the Browns.  We did have a nice little mini-melt about not going after Laverne Coles, which was fun.  By the way, Coles is 73 years old, hasn't had 1000 yards in a season since the Cold War ended and just signed a four-year deal with Cincitucky. 

Get Ready for 2010!

At least Browns fans have this past season ending with them being the joke of Pro Sports.  Tribe Fan?  He is just a bitter old grumpopottamus.   

For the quick and dirty recap of what is hot on the Indians board?  They are finished.  We can't pitch.  We can't hit.  Hafner is done.  Sizemore's injury will linger.  Choo's elbow looks like spaghetti. 

The saddest part?  None of those is even close to the most mind numbing thread ever posted with any serious intent in the two plus years of this website.  Eric Wedge and his Pre-Spring Training speech.  Obviously, it either does not work because they get off to slow starts, or it works too well and the players are so jacked up early in the season they try to hard.  No matter what, everything but Katrina is Eric Wedge's fault, though we cannot be sure about Katrina.  Rumors have it is a recipe thrown together by the most evil person on the planet: Ericmarkrandygeorgeric Wedgironerkokgenius. 

That isn't even getting into Omar's "wood", Wood's back and Fausto's belly.

The Reason I Called

To be totally honest, the Browns and Indians forums are about where they should be at this time of year.  Browns fans are still pissed about any number of things.  Indians fans are worried about the start of a 162 game schedule for a team that has enough known quantities to start about 83 on the mound.  That doesn't mean they don't have the arms, but there are enough question marks in the rotation to cause concern. 

You would have to do some crazy Steve Buffum type of mathematic equation to come up with how large of an exponent you might need to multiply the Tribe/Browns board by to equal the level of craptitude currently being posted in the Cavs forum.   

Please explain this to me, all of you prepubescent, foul mouthed, if all else fails go the "your mother" route posters who are incapable of three coherent thoughts if the Cavs fall behind by three points in a game:  How in the world do you justify your thoughts?  Yes, the Cavs lose basketball games.  About once every couple of weeks.  And EVERY TIME we have to turn the message board into a toilet bowl of your enlightened thoughts?  No, no.   

Seriously.  Take a look.  The Cleveland Cavaliers are currently 28-1 at home.  They are currently 49-13 overall.  Mother of God.  They are currently the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference.  As some may know.  Being the #1 seed means you get to play more of your games at home in the playoffs.  You know, the place they have won 97% of their games.  This is a good thing.  You should look it up. 

But not to our fans.  Who know so much about winning championships in this town.  Giving a poor effort on March 6 is #7 on the top 10 list of reasons you won't win a title.  It is, I promise.  Here is the full list: 

1.  Your best player bites his nails.

2.  The name on the door is Cleveland.

3.  Your head coach has a pair of glasses to match every suit.

4.  Your mascot is dog.  Or Dawg.

5.  Losing a regular season game.  Any of them.  But especially against really good teams in their buildings.

6.  You need the other teams best player to get ejected to hold on for a 10 point win at home. 

7.  Giving a poor effort on March 6.  (See)

8.  Having Side Show Bob as your starting power forward. 

9.  Too many players with the letter Z in their name.

10.  Having the best record in your conference on March 8. 

I guess what I am spewing is this.  Lighten up.  You want to be mad about a poor effort, more power to you.  I get mad about poor effort.  But there is a way to do it.  The way it is being done right now is not the way it should be, or will be.  Take that crap to whatever dump of a message board allows it.  This is not that place.  Trust me.  Heed this advice.  In the words of the great Austin Carr, "Get that weak stuff out of here".  So, either take it out of here, or have it swatted into the "Loudville" by any one of the more than capable group of assassins currently being called in.  

Dancing Shoes  

Almost tourney time.  CSU has a shot.  OSU is looking pretty good. 

Football season starts in about six months. 
 
 
Post of the Week: 

The one holding up my fence.