Written by Brian McPeek

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Wow. Anyone look to make sure Quicken Loans Arena is still standing? After the events of the last three weeks it wouldn’t surprise me if it imploded like the rest of the franchise.

 

Go back a month ago and tell me any of this was conceivable. Tell me you could foresee LeBron James and the Cavaliers quitting in a crucial playoff series against the aging Celtics. Tell me you could have foreseen Mike Brown, the winningest coach in Cavs history, being out of a job. Tell me you were ready for a power play between GM Danny Ferry and owner Dan Gilbert that would predictably result in Ferry being shown the door as well.

 

Jesus. If the Cavs were an after school special they’d be one where the QB/Valedictorian/Homecoming King cheats on his girlfriend Taylor Swift for school skank Lindsay Lohan. He’d be duped by Lohan into giving up his scholarship and the love of his life in order to take a menial job stocking the refrigerated shelves at Giant Eagle to support a kid that, as it predictably turns out, wasn’t actually his.

Poor bastard goes from popular, major college prospect with the sweet, doe-eyed, loving, girl-next-door- girlfriend at his side to a methamphetamine tweaking scumbag whose stealing diapers from Kwik E Marts like H.I. McDunnugh while his soon to be ex-wife bangs the same cheerleaders he used to date.

How the hell did we get from high expectations to H.I. McDunnugh and what does it all mean?

 

Well, my opinion is that Dan Gilbert is ready and willing to sell his franchise’s soul to the devil. Clearing Danny Ferry out of the way makes that sale easier because, hey, who needs a guy with class and dignity in the way while you’re completing the next sleazy transaction?

Danny Ferry played in the NBA. He knows how locker rooms work and how franchises are affected when the inmates run the asylum. And Ferry has made enough money and will have an easy enough time finding another gig to not stand idly by while it happens here in Cleveland. This move was to appease a certain free agent to be. It makes it easier to give that guy more authority and it makes it easier for that guy to name his coach. Then that guy and his newly named coach will have a much easier time manipulating a more malleable GM than Danny Ferry.

Before you blame Gilbert for going this route, ask yourself what other choices he had. He has the game’s most bankable commodity ready to become a free agent after being deeply disappointed in the Eastern Conference semi-finals. He had to clear the decks. If LBJ walks Gilbert likely sees the value of his franchise lose in the neighborhood of $100million in value the very second LeBron signs somewhere else. He also then watches an already staggering city lose its meal ticket and that directly affects his casino businesses and other enterprises he’s brought to Cleveland.

His back-up plan is simple: if LBJ leaves then you blow it all up with a young, disposable GM and a new coach. You tell anyone who will listen how much you spent trying to surround James with talent on the court and in the front office, how you sold a percentage of the team to Chinese investors to open that market for James and then you throw your hands up in the air and lament the tough luck and ‘me first’ attitude of the players.

Dan Gilbert always has outs and this situation is no different. You don’t become as wealthy or as successful as Gilbert without having contingency plans.

It could all work out. LBJ might re-sign here rather than leave millions on the table. He might be a better judge of a coaching candidate than Danny Ferry turned out to be. He might get his head out of his ass and compete hard for an entire playoff series as opposed to pout and lay down when the crap hits the fan. And Cleveland might get that title they’ve been craving for about 50 years.

Dan Gilbert has made the return of LBJ more likely by cleaning the Ferry-Brown house. James had clearly become disenchanted with Brown’s inability to adjust during games and with his rotation and Ferry just couldn’t put together a roster deep enough for Brown not to screw up those rotations. Gilbert clearly prefers having LBJ here while his casinos are built and his businesses flourish. He’s been good to Cleveland fans and given them a team on the precipice of a title.

But if it all goes south with LeBron there’s a very good chance that it will go south with Gilbert. Of course, he could also pack up and go west just as easily. Maybe northwest to the Seattle area. These are a big 6-8 weeks coming up for the Cavaliers. To think the guy that resurrected NBA basketball here on the North Coast seven years ago could also be the guy who kills NBA basketball on the North Coast in a month or two wasn’t even a bad dream when the Cavs and Celtics started their series a month ago.

It’s sure a bad dream today. Especially when either potential outcome scares the hell out of you.

Meanwhile, Back in Suckville…

Well, it could be worse. We could all be Baltimore Orioles fans.

The Orioles are the only team in Major League Baseball keeping the Indians safe from officially being the worst team in the game.

So there’s that.

The Tribe went 4-6 on a ten game roadie to New York, Detroit and Chicago. It was a trip that will be remembered mostly for David Huff laying face down on the mound after being laid out by an Alex Rodriguez line drive and for Armando Galarraga being robbed of a perfect game by an umpire’s obvious blown call on what clearly should have been the 27^th out.

To be honest, after watching David Huff pitch and Tribe hitters swing the bats, I’m surprised we’ve not seen either scenario play out like those two before now. Galarraga diplomatically said after his masterpiece that he hoped to be in the position to one day close the deal on a perfect game. I thought that was simply ludicrous until I recalled the Tigers face the Indians 19 times each season.

At 21-34 on the season this place is definitely Suckville. And every burg, no matter how pitiful, needs a mayor. Someone needs to be designated to carry the Suckville flag and serve as an embodiment of the place. It’s here where I run into a wall though. Does the mayor of Suckville come from the old guard? One of those veterans now playing out the string who have been around the block? Is Russell Branyan mayoral-caliber? What about a guy like Jhonny Peralta? Do we want a guy who will give zero effort and show almost no enthusiasm whatsoever for this job like he does on the field? It’s tempting to just name Jhonny Mayor-for-life of Suckville and be done with it.

Maybe it should be one of the young guys who actually care about producing but just haven’t the capability to do anything yet? Lou Marson, Jason Donald, Trevor Crowe, Luis Valbuena fit the bill. I’d consider a guy like Rafael Perez but he’d blow it. He’s more suited to live in and lead the fine folks of One Great Yearville.

Let’s sleep on it for a while and see if it becomes any clearer how we want to approach it. After all, making rash decisions is how you end up with guys like Donald and Marson in the first place.

The Weekly Lou Marson Update

It’s too bad that MLB plays games Monday-Friday during the week because Lou Marson seems to put one game each weekend together that actually make him look like a viable Major League player. Sweet Lou ended an 0-19 streak at the plate with a three run HR Sunday afternoon in Chicago that briefly gave the Tribe a 6-2 lead over the White Sox. Marson’s 2-out bomb off Mark Buehrle could have been the story of the day had Jake Westbrook, Tony Sipp, Frank Herrmann, Jensen Lewis and Rafael Perez not all gone David Huff on the hill. It just wasn’t meant to be.

Marson did lift his average to .195 on the season when he homered for the second time this season though.

You know what, Marson is busting his ass out there, I’ll give him that. And a guy that gives that effort deserves to be taken off the hook as far as having a section in this weekly article. I’d rather hang the ‘Weekly Update’ on someone who’s stealing money and big leaguing it all the way.

Russell Branyan, you’re on deck.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Seriously, are you? How much worse can it be than what we’ve gotten since the NBA playoffs went awry and the Tribe season started?

Five weeks until training camp starts.

Don’t look now, but good God, by the time the Browns open camp there may be very compelling reasons to believe that they are the best hope for a title in this town.

Sleep on that sobering thought.