Written by Brian McPeek

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Now I know why writers tend to drink. 

Yes, that includes even mediocre writers who pen a column or two per week for a local sports website. Sometimes the depressing, haunting and horrific nature of your subject matter is too much to take and you seek comfort from chemical sources simply to numb the pain or create a diversion from it. 

If you’re really lucky you black out, hit your head on the base of the toilet and at least get to miss a couple of the Indians’ final few ballgames as they march to 97 or 98 losses on the year. 

(My recommendation for the anesthetizing agent is pretty much anything from the Troeg’s family of beers. The ‘Dead Reckoning Porter’, in addition to being aptly named for the circumstances, is the highest order of delicious. Yeungling is great too if you can get it. Their flagship lager is tremendous and their Black & Tan and Chesterfield Ale are excellent change-ups for a long day of extinguishing misery. Pay no mind to the fact each of those breweries are in Pennsylvania and that you can add them to a list that includes more recent World Series, Stanley Cup and Super Bowl championships as things the people of Pennsylvania have that I covet.)   

What the hell was I talking about? 

Ahh yes…. 

And while I’m pretty sure that Ernest Hemingway wasn’t a Cleveland Browns fan, maybe he followed the Cubs or the Washington Senators or something. That would explain going from the bottle to the gun to numb the pain for good. It is, after all, ultimately cheaper to go this route. 

The Price of Wright 

I have decided, as I mentioned on Twitter yesterday immediately after the game, to purchase an Eric Wright Fat Head or have one made. The reason is so I can see Eric Wright actually cover something, even if it’s a damn nail hole in my wall. 

You want to talk about a loud-mouthed self-promoter who had his lunch handed to him all day yesterday, well, no one fits the bill like Eric Wright. Anquan Boldin did everything short of hold Wright’s head down in the toilet and flush while making out with Wright’s mom Sunday in Baltimore.  

I haven’t seen a cornerback have a day like that since…… well…ever. Wright got beat for all three Raven TDs Sunday. All of them scored by Boldin. It didn’t matter if he had help or was isolated all alone when the Browns brought pressure (in hopes of hurrying Raven QB Joe Flacco to the point where Wright may actually be in the same camera frame as Boldin when the ball was thrown). 

The issue with Wright is he talks like Deion and plays like some truck driver named Leon. His mouth writes checks his ass can’t cover and it keeps getting worse. The Ravens flat out said they were going after Eric Wright because he lacked discipline and they did it to the tune of beating the Browns 24-17. Yeah, any one of the three TDs Wright gave up was the difference on Sunday in yet another game the Browns could have won.

Another win (the Browns are now a league-best ‘Almost 3-0’) was there for the taking. Peyton Hillis ran like a beer truck through the Ravens all day and Seneca Wallace was good enough throwing the football to get out of Baltimore with a rare and impressive road win. But the Browns were undone by their inability to make a defensive play, or in the case of Eric Wright, any defensive play at all. 

A few Quick Observations in regard to the Browns-Ravens game: 

• I am still puzzled with the play calling. It would have been good for the soul to see Brian Daboll mix in a 1^st down play action pass once Hillis got rolling. Not only to save Hillis some hits and miles but because it would have freed up the middle of the field for some intermediate throws.
• If I see Wallace ‘Brady Quinn’ another deep throw 10-15 yards out of bounds I’m going to urinate in his shampoo bottle. That’s it. I’m drawing the line. Seriously Seneca: keep the effing ball in the field of play. Or at least within 5 yards of the sideline.
•  One more time: mobile QB, backs who can catch the ball, TEs who are not completely useless, possession-type receivers who are all relatively big and strong. How about we move the pocket, sprint out a guy who can move and throw on the run and try and make some plays that will extend drives and are higher percentage throws? Watching Wallace throw that 3^rd and 2 bomb 45 yards down field and 12 yards out of bounds made my nose bleed.
• Any chance Wright may be best suited to the nickel package? Is there maybe a aurter package? You know, a time when you might need 25 defensive backs? Maybe to hold that big flag that they bring out for the national anthem? I’d like to see Wright on the field when the Browns employ the 25 defensive backs alignment.  
  
• Teams simply aren’t going to give Josh Cribbs the chance to beat them in the return game. That said, the Browns kick cover teams were outstanding in Baltimore.
•  As a matter of fact, I was impressed with the focus and speed the Browns came out with to start the game. Eric Mangini has the team ready to play. They’re simply not very good.  
• To blame Rob Ryan or the coaching staff for the all out blitz that left Wright one on one with Boldin is either ludicrous or oozing of hatred toward the coaching staff. Wright got beat with help, without help, underneath, over the top and pretty much every which way all day long Sunday. Sending pressure in the hopes that Flacco’s time to throw would be affected is perfectly understandable. There was nothing wrong with the call that Wright not biting on the hitch and go route wouldn’t have resolved. Blame the coaches for having that guy on the field if you want to. Not for calling for a blitz designed to shorten the time he had to cover someone.

Nothing Good Could Come of It 

The Buckeyes basically practiced Saturday in front of 105,000 people in Columbus. And they actually practiced against a MAC team that didn’t provide OSU any more opposition than had the Buckeyes scrimmaged against their own walk-ons and 4^th string position players. 

Pretty much of a no-win situation for Ohio State other than getting game reps. Pretty much a no-win situation for Eastern Michigan other than getting a huge game check. All it cost EMU was respect and dignity as they lost 73-20 to Ohio State. 

You know Jim Tressel would rather wear Levis and a Harley Davidson t-shirt  than run up the score on anyone. That should tell you how bad EMU was Saturday. The Buckeyes were pretty much in full ‘run out the clock’ mode from halftime on and still couldn’t help but score.  

And to be honest, my first thought when the game ended was: how the hell did EMU put 20 points on the board? 

Meh… I guess it’s akin to the cat letting the chipmunk get up and limp away before pouncing on it again and taking another chunk out it. Maybe Senator Sweatervest was able to sleep a bit easier on those 73 points because EMU at least got to go home with 20 of their own. 

I’ll also have you know that not one EMU return went for a TD (and the kick-cover teams got plenty of burn Saturday) and not a single (or, more accurately, THE single) Buckeye punt was blocked and returned for a TD. 

Anyway, there’s not much to analyze from this one. Terrelle Pryor and Dane Sanzenbacher had huge days (Pryor threw for 4 TDs, rushed for 100 yards and a TD and CAUGHT a 20 yard TD pass while Sanzenbacher hauled in nine catches for 100+ yards and four TDs) and the Buckeyes are on their way to conference play starting next weekend with a game at Illinois. 

It’s time to start getting serious on this national championship run. 

Sorry ‘Bout That…Forgot You Were Still Here 

Forget about the Rays and the Yankees struggle for 1^st place in the AL East and forget about the topsy-turvy NL West that’s likely to go down to the wire. There was an epic battle being fought right here in Cleveland over the weekend as the Indians and Royals battled to the death to stay out of the AL Central basement. 

You know, maybe a battle to the death would be a good thing. At least one of these teams would be killed off and gone forever as opposed to coming back next year with no chance to compete. 

Anyway, the Indians, really reaching down and coming up with the effort of a 4^th place team as opposed to a 5^th place team, won the first two games of the series rather easily on Friday and Saturday to give them a ½ game lead over the Royals in this ‘Swimming in Sewage Series’. Heroic efforts from Josh Tomlin and Jenmar Gomez on the mound made it all possible and set up a Sunday that would see the Tribe hand the ball to their ace Fausto Carmona (12-14 IS an ace on this staff) and hope for a weep that would propel them closer to finishing with their heads above the…umm…sewage. 

It didn’t look good for seven innings on Sunday. The Royals and Bruce Chen led the Tribe 3-0 headed to the home half of the 8^th inning.  

But then Shelley Duncan did what Shelley Duncan will (on rare occasions) do: he hit a 3-run home run to tie the game. 

That was stunning enough. But when Luis Valbuena and Andy Marte kept the inning going, Michael Brantley pinch hit for Lou Marson and doubled home two more runs to win the ball game 5-3. 

(Those last two paragraphs should be preserved for posterity’s sake as one day, when we’re celebrating a World Series title in Cleveland, we can show back to back paragraphs that mentioned Shelley Duncan, Luis Valbuena, Lou Marson and Andy Marte. For then we shall truly understand how far we have come.) 

The end result is the Tribe has taken a commanding lead in the Head Above Sewage race and leads the Royals by a game and a half for the fourth place spot in the AL Central. 

What a magical weekend down at Progressive Field.

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