Written by Michael Kramer

---

The most exciting night of the year has come and gone once again. Oscar night is over. I really hope that Colin Firth won, because if he didn't I'm going to have to listen to my mother complain about it for a year. I'm sure he'll be nominated again next year for playing someone with some sort of physical or mental ailment that goes beyond being British.

I don't know what it is about Firth, but older women are just bananas for him. It's kind of weird. My mom has actually been angry at Jeff Bridges for the past year because he won the last Oscar. The fact that Jeff Bridges is the Dude (so that's what you call him) and therefore should win pretty much every award available from here on out seems lost on her.

By the time you read this, you'll already know who won, so it doesn't matter anyway. We can turn our attention to something that makes sense. Something that can be measured and evaluated. Something that means something. Something important.

The NFL Combine.

An Awkward Glance At The Browns

The all important combine is winding down and it's time for teams to get their draft boards in order. When you are the Browns this is easy to do, as there is a need at literally every position. Well, every position except QB, that is, unless you think Holmgren is lying.

Holmgren and Heckert came out this way and threw their considerable support behind Colt McCoy. Questions about his arm strength will still persist, if only because Brown's fans just don't feel right unless they have a QB to complain about. The guys that matter don't seem to be concerned, though, so it seems as though the likelihood of drafting Cam Newton is remote, despite the fact that Cam reportedly jumped really really far, and (depending on who you talk to) was either laid back and charming, or a complete asshole in his interview.

But let's assume that Heckgren is telling the truth and Cam won't be a Brown regardless of whether he's available when the timer starts on draft day. Who's on the short list? Unless something changes, here are the possibilities, in no particular order:

 

1. Patrick Peterson, CB – LSU

2. Nick Fairley, DT – Auburn

3. Da'Quan Bowers, DE – Clemson

4. Marcell Dareus, DT – Alabama

5. Robert Quinn, DE – North Carolina

6. AJ Green, WR – Georgia

There are obviously others that are possibilities, but I wanted to keep the list to 6 because (once again drawing on my considerable math skills) at the very least one of these guys will be available.

I like Peterson a lot. I know the Browns drafted a CB last year with their top pick last year, but wouldn't it be great to pretty much lock in the secondary for the better part of the decade with this pick (baring injury and/or Plaxicoesque stupidity). Alas, Peterson will almost certainly be gone by #6. It is fun to think about, though.

I lumped the next 4 guys together on purpose. DT or DE wouldn't matter to me. We need talent on the defensive line and right now it's pretty much Ahtyba Rubin and 1,000 lbs of refried beans. Out of these 4 guys I've stuck Dareus at the top of my wish list for a few simple reasons, the most important being that I think he'll still be available (I think Fairly and Bowers will be gone). The second being he played last year (as intriguing as Quinn is, I have a tough time pulling the trigger on a guy who had to sit for a whole season). And the third reason is that I like idea of the awkwardness of a Marcell and Colt reunion, after Marcell put Colt out of the 2009 National Championship Game.

But, I also lumped them together for another reason. There are a lot of defensive linemen in this draft. Down at the bottom of the first or the top of the second round you'd still probably have guys like JJ Watt (who single-handedly wrecked the Buckeyes in their only loss of the season), Ryan Kerrigan, Adrian Clayborn, and Cameron Heyward (who might drop even farther following news of his elbow surgery). And that's just the Big 10 guys I can think of right now. This draft just seems stacked for linemen. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be opposed to drafting 2 of them in the first 2 rounds.

But, that seems unlikely (although possible considering Heckert when secondary with the first 2 last year), so I have settled on AJ Green for right now. There seem to be 2 elite receivers in the draft, Green and Julio Jones from Alabama. Everyone seems to be placing Green higher. He might not be available when the Browns pick, and if that's the case, then I definitely go DL, but if he's there, I don't know how you pass him up. Teams, especially teams running a pass oriented west coast offense, need 1 elite WR. Even if you're like me (an optimist who thinks that Brian Robiskie and Mohammed Massequoi still might make serviceable WRs), you need to have that one guy who will put a little fear into the defense.

I think AJ is that guy. Then again, if you can trade down and add draft picks and still end up with Julio Jones and two of those second tier linemen, that's even better.

Be sure to check back next week when I attempt to convince you that the Browns need to draft Blaine Gabbert or Von Miller.

An Awkward Glance At The Cavs

The Cavs made some noise last week at the trade deadline when they added Baron Davis and another first round draft pick for Mo Williams and Jamario Moon. While I was ecstatic to add an unprotected first round lottery pick, most of what I read indicated that the national media remained unimpressed with the moves.

Their collective point seemed to be that the Cavs shouldn't have added Davis because he's, well, a bit of a douchebag. And fat. And unmotivated. And will infect the young Cavs with his unique brand of douchebaggery.

I don't doubt any of that but let me repeat; the Cavs traded Mo Williams and Jamario Moon and in return got an unprotected lottery pick. Actually, they didn't trade Mo Williams so much as they traded Mo Williams' oft injured vagina, or whatever the hell it is that kept keeping him out of games.

So, I don't know how in the world you don't like this trade from a Cavs perspective.

Now, all the Cavs need to do is continue to accumulate ping pong balls, something they've been doing poorly these past few weeks. They are making me nervous. The Cavs are a team that lost a record 26 games in a row and still are only around 2 games worse than Minnesota. We need to get Ryan Hollins more minutes. Hell, let's run the offense through him. That aught to do it.

The Baron Davis era begins on Wed night against the Spurs as for the first time he will take off the Harry Potter glasses and don the Wine and Gold. So far he's said all the right things when it comes to the city, the coach, the team, and the fans. It remains to be seen what happens when he hits the floor. As usual, I'll be watching.

Wed 3/2 – Cavs vs Spurs

Fri 3/4 – Cavs At Knicks

Sun 3/6 – Cavs vs Hornets

My prediction: Cavs beat the Hornets on Sunday to go 1-2 for the week, pulling ever close to wasting that breathtaking losing streak.

An Awkward Glance At The Indians

The spring season got underway yesterday when the Indians dropped a nail biter to the Reds 7-6. So, the Indians are 0-1 on the season. I'm sure that there is a contingent out there ready to blame Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge for the slow start.

It's hard to make much out of the game. The starters all played about half a game and 8 pitchers pitched. Josh Tomlin started and went 2 innings giving up 1 hit. The game was lost at the end when Zach Putnam gave up 4 runs (2 HRs) in his inning, followed by Alex White blowing the save in the ninth and taking the loss.

On the offensive side, 11 hits were spread out over 19 batters, with Lonnie Chisenhall going 2-2, both hits being doubles. Matt LaPorta picked up where he left off last year going 0-2 with 2 K's.

None of that really means very much. The only thing that meant anything yesterday was the news that Shin Soo Choo has a sore elbow that will be keeping him out of the lineup until Thursday. He apparently hyper-extended it at some point and it flared up the last few days. The reports coming out of Arizona are all rosy, saying that Choo will be fine and there's nothing to worry about.

But, that's pretty much always what the reports are so I'll go ahead and worry if you don't mind. Especially wince it's become apparent that Grady won't be ready until possibly march, and even then we have no idea what we will be getting from him.

Add that to the news that Trevor Crowe is out indefinitely with right rotator cuff soreness and the Indians are looking potentially pretty thin in the outfield. That might not be all bad, though, if it means seeing Nick Weglarz sooner rather than later.

This week the spring starts getting into the regularly scheduled games and answers to questions will begin to take shape. Make sure you are checking in to The Cleveland Fan for updates from Paul Cousineau and Al Ciammiachella.

Lastly, I don't know if it will be this week, but I'm hoping the triumphant return of Steve Buffum is imminent.

Actor In My Movie

Yvonne Strahovski

4 years ago I was flipping through channels and decided to watch the pilot episode of Chuck. I was intrigued by the Cake song played through the opening credits. It looked like a silly little show that might be kind of fun but nothing special. It had Animal Mother Adam Baldwin in it, so that was something. And then she appeared.

Yvonne Strahovski. Australian Vixen. Possible the hottest chick in the history of television. She waltzed onto the screen and within about 10 minutes they had her stripping down to her underwear. It was glorious, and they had a fan for life. I've seen every episode (well, if you count the 3 that are on my DVR). Somehow it's lasted 4 seasons.

Yvonne hasn't been in anything else of note yet, and that's just fine with me. I'm planning on writing her breakout role.

Actually, her first series is titled "Double the Fist" and that sounds interesting.

Youtube Clip Of The Week

Browsing through the ether today I saw a story about a kid somewhere wrestling without his legs. It reminded me of a couple of high school kids from right here in ohio.

Dustin Keller

And Leroy Sutton

Those dudes always impressed the hell out of me. If you haven't heard of them, take a look.