Written by Jonathan Knight

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First order of business: let’s all congratulate New York City, which finally got its long-awaited championship and can rightfully celebrate not only a satisfying world title, but also its place as the very conscience of the nation, representing all the strong moral fiber and modest level-mindedness America has to offer.

Whoops - for a second there I got New York confused with Lake Wobegon, Minnesota.

Instead, we fart in New York’s general direction. The rest of us will wait longer to buy a handgun in Texas than NYC will before winning yet another damned championship.

Consequently, New York drops from No. 40 to dead last at No. 62 in the latest edition of the Sports Misery Index - replacing Boston as the least miserable sports city (or more appropriately, market) that could potentially have captured a world title in one of the four major sports leagues encompassing the U.S. and Canada.

For more details on the rationale between determining the factors that go into calculating the Index - which mirrors the U.S. economic Misery Index (inflation rate + unemployment rate), click here for a previous TCF column outlining the origin of the Sports Misery Index.

And, not surprisingly, nothing changes atop the list, where Cleveland remains the Neil Diamond of sports misery.

Proving anybody can be No. 1 if you put together the right set of numbers, the Best Location in the Nation remains atop the Sports Misery Index (the SMI, if you will), now scoring a darling 230.82 (compared to last-place New York’s 91.34) and marginally increasing its lead over second-place San Diego (199).

The top five also remain the same: Seattle (194.12), Buffalo (194), and Minneapolis (168.93).

Let’s see how the current Index breaks down, first by looking at the two factors individually: drought factor and non-title percentage.

 

NEXT IN LINE

Ranking the Cities by Drought Factor

Here’s a list of the cities by highest Drought Factor – how many seasons (not years) each has endured since winning a world title.

For example, Cleveland’s Drought Factor is now 134: when you combine the Browns, Indians, Cavs, and don’t forget the Barons’ two NHL seasons, Cleveland teams have now played 134 consecutive seasons without winning a title.

The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.

 1.CLEVELAND [134]

Last world title: Browns 1964

2.SAN DIEGO [99]

Last world title: never

3.SEATTLE [95]

Last world title: SuperSonics 1978-79

4.BUFFALO [94]

Last world title: never

5.MINNEAPOLIS [73]

Last world title: Twins 1991

6.WASHINGTON [66]

Last world title: Redskins 1991

7.ATLANTA [60]

Last world title: Braves 1995

8.KANSAS CITY [53]

Last world title: Royals 1985

9.TORONTO [51]

Last world title: Blue Jays 1993

10.VANCOUVER [46]

Last world title: none

11.HOUSTON [45]

Last world title: Rockets 1994-95

12.CINCINNATI [43]

Last world title: Reds 1990

13.DENVER [41]

Last world title: Avalanche 2000-01

14.PHOENIX [40]

Last world title: Diamondbacks 2001

15.OAKLAND [39]

Last world title: Athletics 1989

16.CHARLOTTE [38]

Last world title: none

17.PORTLAND [34]

Last world title: Trail Blazers 1976-77

18.SALT LAKE CITY [32]

Last world title: none

19.MONTREAL [29]

Last world title: Canadiens 1992-93

20.NASHVILLE [27]

Last world title: none

t21.SACRAMENTO [26]

Last world title: none

t21.TAMPA BAY [26]

Last world title: Buccaneers 2002

23.OTTAWA [25]

Last world title: Senators 1926-27

t24.ORLANDO [22]

Last world title: none

t24.BALTIMORE [22]

Last world title: Ravens 2000

t24.MIAMI [22]

Last world title: Heat 2005-06

27.CALGARY [21]

Last world title: Flames 1988-89

28.EDMONTON [20]

Last world title: Oilers 1989-90

29.SAN JOSE [19]

Last world title: none

30.*HARTFORD [18]

Last world title: none

t31.*QUEBEC [17]

Last world title: none

t31.*WINNIPEG [17]

Last world title: none

t31.JACKSONVILLE [17]

Last world title: none

34.NEWARK [15]

Last world title: Devils 2002-03

35.DETROIT [14]

Last world title: Red Wings 2007-08

36.PHILADELPHIA [13]

Last world title: Phillies 2008

t37.COLUMBUS [10]

Last world title: none

t37.MEMPHIS [10]

Last world title: none

39.INDIANAPOLIS [10]

Last world title: Colts 2006

40.*FORT WAYNE [9]

Last world title: none

t41.*SYRACUSE [8]

Last world title: Nationals 1954-55

t41.LOS ANGELES [8]

Last world title: Lakers 2009-10

t41.CHICAGO [8]

Last world title: Blackhawks 2009-10

t41.PITTSBURGH [8]

Last world title: Penguins 2008-09

45.*ROCHESTER [6]

Last world title: Royals 1950-51

t46.*HAMILTON [5]

Last world title: none

t46.RALEIGH [5]

Last world title: Hurricanes 2005-06

t48.NEW ORLEANS [4]

Last world title: Saints 2009

t48.SAN ANTONIO [4]

Last world title: Spurs 2006-07

t48.SAN FRANCISCO [4]

Last world title: Giants 2010

t51.*PROVIDENCE [3]

Last world title: none

t51.OKLAHOMA CITY [3]

Last world title: none

t51.MILWAUKEE [3]

Last world title: Packers 2010

t54.*TRI-CITIES [2]

(Moline, Ill., Rock Island, Ill., Davenport, Ia.)

Last world title: none

t54.BOSTON [2]

Last world title: Bruins 2010-11

t54.DALLAS [2]

Last world title: Mavericks 2010-11

t57.*ANDERSON [1]

Last world title: none

t57.*SHEBOYGAN [1]

Last world title: none

t57.*WATERLOO [1]

Last world title: none

t57.*PORTSMOUTH, OHIO [1]

Last world title: none

61.ST. LOUIS [1]

Last world title: Cardinals 2011

62.NEW YORK [0]

Last world title: Giants 2011

 

CHAMPIONSHIP SATURATION

Measuring the Cities by Their Percentage of Title Seasons

Here’s a list of the cities by highest title percentage – number of a city’s world-title seasons divided by number of total seasons.

For instance, Cleveland teams have played a combined 220 seasons, seven of which have ended with a world title. Thus of all the seasons in Cleveland history, 3.18% have ended with a championship.

The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.

1.Montreal 18.75%

2.Edmonton 16.13%

3.San Antonio 11.43%

4.*Rochester 11.11%

5.Toronto 10.35%

6.Boston 9.37%

7.New York 8.66%

8.Ottawa 8.57%

9.Raleigh 7.69%

10.*Syracuse 7.14%

11.Oakland 6.98%

12.Detroit 6.77%

13.Milwaukee 6.63%

14.Baltimore 6.50%

15.Los Angeles 6.23%

16.Pittsburgh 5.93%

17.Chicago 5.03%

18.Dallas 4.97%

19.St. Louis 4.91%

20.Newark 4.84%

21.Miami 4.76%

22.Philadelphia 4.34%

23.San Francisco 4.24%

24.Minneapolis 4.07%

25.Calgary 3.33%

26.Denver 3.28%

27.Cleveland 3.18%

28.Washington 3.04%

29.Cincinnati 2.96%

30.Portland 2.44%

31.Kansas City 1.71%

32.New Orleans 1.70%

33.Houston 1.53%

34.Tampa Bay 1.48%

35.Indianapolis 1.47%

36.Phoenix 1.05%

37.Seattle 0.88%

38.Atlanta 0.65%

39.San Diego 0%

Buffalo 0%

Vancouver 0%

Charlotte 0%

Salt Lake City 0%

Sacramento 0%

Nashville 0%

Orlando 0%

*Hartford 0%

San Jose 0%

*Quebec 0%

*Winnipeg 0%

Jacksonville 0%

*Fort Wayne 0%

Columbus 0%

Memphis 0%

Oklahoma City 0%

*Hamilton 0%

*Providence 0%

*Tri-Cities 0%

*Anderson 0%

*Sheboygan 0%

*Waterloo 0%

*Portsmouth, Ohio 0%

 

THE SPORTS MISERY INDEX

And here it is – the updated Sports Misery Index, measured by adding a city’s non-title percentage to its number of consecutive non-title seasons.

The * symbolizes that the city currently has no teams in any of the four major leagues.

1. CLEVELAND (230.82)

96.82 + 134

2. SAN DIEGO (199)

100 + 99

3. SEATTLE (194.12)

99.12 + 95

4. BUFFALO (194)

100 + 94

5. MINNEAPOLIS (168.93)

95.93 + 73

6. WASHINGTON (162.96)

96.96 + 66

7. ATLANTA (159.35)

99.35 + 60

8. KANSAS CITY (151.29)

98.29 + 53

9. VANCOUVER (146)

100 + 45

10. HOUSTON (143.47)

98.47 + 45

11. TORONTO (140.65)

89.65 + 51

12. CINCINNATI (140.04)

97.04 + 43

13. PHOENIX (138.95)

98.95 + 40

14. CHARLOTTE (138)

100 + 38

15. DENVER (137.72)

96.72 + 41

16. OAKLAND (132.02)

93.02 + 39

17. SALT LAKE CITY (132)

100 + 32

18. PORTLAND (131.56)

97.56 + 34

19. NASHVILLE (127)

100 + 27

20.SACRAMENTO (126)

100 + 26

21. TAMPA BAY (124.52)

98.52 + 26

22. ORLANDO (122)

100 + 22

23. SAN JOSE (119)

100 + 19

24. *HARTFORD (118)

100 + 18

25. CALGARY (117.67)

96.67 + 21

26. MIAMI (117.24)

95.24 + 22

t27. JACKSONVILLE (117)

100 + 17

t27.*QUEBEC (117)
100 + 17

t27.*WINNIPEG (117)

100 + 17

30. OTTAWA (116.43)

91.43 + 25

31. BALTIMORE (115.5)

93.5 + 22

32. MONTREAL (110.25)

81.25 + 29

33. NEWARK (110.16)

95.16 + 15

t34. COLUMBUS (110)

100 + 10

t34. MEMPHIS (110)

100 + 10

36. *FORT WAYNE (109)

100 + 9

37. PHILADELPHIA (108.66)

95.66 + 13

38. INDIANAPOLIS (108.53)

98.53 + 10

39. DETROIT (107.23)

93.23 + 14

40. *HAMILTON (105)

100 + 5

41. EDMONTON (103.87)

83.87 + 20

t42. *PROVIDENCE (103)

100 + 3

t42. OKLAHOMA CITY (103)

100 + 3

44. CHICAGO (102.97)

94.97 + 8

45. NEW ORLEANS (102.3)

98.3 + 4

46. PITTSBURGH (102.07)

94.07 + 8

47. *TRI-CITIES (102)

100 + 2

48. LOS ANGELES (101.77)

93.77 + 8

t49. *ANDERSON (101)

100 + 1

t49. *SHEBOYGAN (101)

100 + 1

t49. *WATERLOO (101)

100 +1

t49. *PORTSMOUTH, OHIO (101)

100 + 1

53. *SYRACUSE (100.86)

92.86 + 8

54. SAN FRANCISCO (99.76)

95.76 + 4

55. RALEIGH (97.31)

92.31 + 5

56. DALLAS (97.03)

95.03 + 2

57. MILWAUKEE (96.37)

93.37 + 3

58. ST. LOUIS (96.09)

95.09 + 1

59. *ROCHESTER (94.89)

88.89 + 6

60. BOSTON (92.63)

90.63 + 2

61. SAN ANTONIO (92.57)

88.57 + 4

62. NEW YORK (91.34)

91.34 + 0

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