Pertaining the game that actually matters this weekend - the Buckeyes should handily beat the Wolverines.  I will say no more about it for fear of unleashing my jinx powers, but let's hope Urban makes the margin of victory roughly equal to the number of pounds by which he is outweighed by Brady Hoke.

In other news, the Muddy Colors of Cleveland play the Spotted Cats of Northern Florida this weekend in what is sure to be an EPIC battle, and, yes, I know, you've come here for gambling advice.  Rest assured, you are in good hands.  Well, mediocre hands, at least.

Let's get down to it.  The Muddy Colors are bad, but this is Jacksonville they're playing.  Brandon Weeden is the opposite of good, but he beat the Buffaloes, and this is Jacksonville they're playing.  Cleveland is likely to win only one or two more games the entire season and "earn" yet another high draft pick, but this is Jacksonville they're playing.

Read more...

INT. DINER – DAY

Sheila and Trevor are sitting at a booth.  Sheila is wearing sunglasses and sipping a bloody mary, Trevor is adding creamer to his coffee.  Mark walks in, straightening his tie.  He plops down next to Sheila.

Mark:  Hey kids!

Trevor:  Morning, Mark.

Sheila nods and raises her glass.

Mark (eyeing her drink):  Hair of the dog?

Sheila:  Nah, fresh start.  Jaeger doesn’t give me a hangover – that’s why I drink it, cuz it tastes like ass.

Mark: Huh, thought for sure you’d be hurtin’ today after passing out in the 3^rd quarter of the game yesterday.

Sheila:  I didn’t pass out, I simply saw it as an opportune moment to take a nap.  Watching the Browns is like mainlining tryptophan.

Read more...

No one understands better than a Cleveland Browns fan the need, the longing desire, the unattainable dream, to change the narrative of this moribund franchise. As usual, that will have to wait for at least another year as the Browns finished off their latest crash into the concrete wall that is the Pittsburgh Steelers in their usual spectacularly awful fashion, losing this time by the rather generic score of 27-11 and coming out with the usual bloody nose and busted lip.

Read more...

Josh Gordon is an amazing football player.

That’s not news to any fans who watch the Cleveland Browns on a weekly basis, but it bears repeating after his latest performance.

In the Browns loss to Pittsburgh on Sunday, Gordon set a franchise record for receiving yards in a game with 237, tied Ozzie Newsome for the franchise record for most receptions in a game with 14, and scored the Browns lone touchdown on the day.

The game marked the fifth time this season that Gordon has gained more than 100 receiving yards, breaking Braylon Edwards’ franchise record, and was the third time in the past four games that Gordon broke the century mark.

Despite missing the first two games of the season due to a suspension, Gordon is still fifth in the NFL in receiving yards with 988, third in average per reception with 18.3 and tied for third with 16 receptions of more than 20 yards.

Read more...