We need to talk.

Look, I understand your political affiliation. You’ve made it loud and clear. I understand you are unwavering in your support for said party, and that you despise everything about the other party. I understand the hot-button issues which are important to you, and in full gory detail why you hate the other guys and why they are so wrong and stupid.

So for the sake of my sanity, can you please stop talking about it?

You see, your party is wrong. I know, nobody can change your mind, that’s clear, but please hear me out. Everything you say about the other party is completely misinformed, and in reality what you believe of your party is pretty misinformed too. You’ve been caught up in a whirlwind of bandwaggoning hate and rhetoric that would make Vince McMahon blush at the utter shamefulness of it all, and you are nothing more than a mindless parrot squawking for a cracker as your mind-controlling master has instructed you to do.

Read more...

The NFL begins play this week and that means even more people will be making wagers on sports. NFL betting is a much different animal than betting college football. The numbers are smaller and tighter, the talent gaps between the two teams provide less of an edge, and there really isn’t much of a home field advantage in the NFL anymore as it pertains to the spread.

To the first point about smaller numbers, the biggest spread in Week One for the NFL is in the game between the Houston Texans and the Miami Dolphins. That number is currently between Texans -11.5 and -13.5. On very rare occasions, a game will go above two touchdowns, but -14 is normally the highest you will see during most weeks of the season. With the exception of a couple offshore sportsbooks still showing -10 or -10.5 for the Chicago Bears against the Indianapolis Colts, the Texans/Dolphins spread is the only one in double digits. That’s a drastic change from college football, where there were several spreads that were above three touchdowns in Week One. Last season in the NFL, 48.8% of games were decided by seven points or less.

Read more...

So Tuesday night I return from my travels around midnight, and immediately take the trash to the curb. I hear a loud noise as I move the cans, but think nothing of it at the time. When I walk past it to come in the house, I notice there is a turtle on the ground. Weird, but cool.

I go to get my wife to show her the turtle, because, cool, turtle. She then points out that it is an aqueous creature, and that we live nowhere near the water, and as such the turtle is in jeopardy and can’t just be left there. This hadn’t occurred to me – like seeing Matt Laporta in the majors, the turtle really had no business being there. I figure the turtle had somehow managed to find his way behind my trash cans, and if he wants to go for a swim, he can walk the half a mile back to the creek. But apparently, I’m going to be taking a turtle for a walk tonight. Fantastic.

Now I’ve had experience with turtles before, and they aren’t the friendly huggable creatures people make them out to be. They may be slow of foot, but when motivated to bite you, they are lightning quick and surprisingly agile. I once tried to move a shockingly large box turtle out of the road in Solon only to have the bastard nearly take off a finger when his head craned back like something out of an Aliens movie. Stupid turtle, I’m trying to save your life.

Read more...

College football returns this week and that’s a big deal for bettors as the preseason preparation is done and now is the time to try and reap the rewards. With one more NFL-less Sunday to endure, it’s like back-to-back weeks of Christmas for sports bettors.

As I said in last week’s column, sports betting has a language all its own, filled with words and terms that have different meanings in everyday life. Before you can make bets, you have to know what these words mean. It’s not rocket science, but it’s something that you have to grow accustomed to. It’s certainly easier with the increase in offshore sports books where just a few clicks will make a wager for you. That being said, it’s still important to be able to talk the talk before you walk the walk.

Read more...