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Lars Hancock

FreudToday I went to Cousin’s Cigar over on the east side to pick up a couple of cigars for my business partner and myself, for no other reason other than I felt like having a cigar.

I mean, really, what’s not to enjoy about a cigar? You put a large brown log in your mouth, light it on fire, and stink for an hour or so as you slowly burn it into ashes. You’re usually doing it around other like-minded individuals who enjoy playing with fire and generally embrace the concept of being offensive to the majority of society. Those are my people, and having a cigar with them is a great way of communing.

Some people like to psychoanalyze those who would prefer to have a cigar, calling on Freud to interpret the action of smoking a cigar as in some way expressing a latent homoerotic side to an individual. But as Freud didn’t say (despite what people want to believe), sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And even if it isn’t, the dime store psychoanalysis is no longer interesting, relevant, and it doesn’t make you seem smart. It makes you seem like a hack that likes to spout clichés.

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Gary Benz

Judas priest-angel of retribution coverTime will be the real arbiter of whether or not the NCAA did the right thing in severely punishing Penn State University, but for those complaining perhaps they missed the meat of NCAA president Mark Emmert's reasoning.

That Penn State was made an example of is probably beyond question. But of what, exactly? With no sense of irony, Emmert railed against the fact that the culture of winning has become so all consuming that it has created an atmosphere of "too big to fail" programs at some universities.

The phrase "too big to fail" is thrown around a lot these days and I'm not sure that it could ever apply in this context, but the point is still taken. At Penn State as in many places, the wants, needs and desires of the football program came to dominate the entire ethos of the university. When Joe Paterno, as well entrenched of a head coach as there has ever been, could literally impose his will on his own superiors by halting any further investigation into or a reporting of the allegations regarding Jerry Sandusky, it's pretty clear to any objective observer that the tail is wagging the dog and that's usually a huge red flag.

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Andrew Clayman

clevevsdet

In another life, Cleveland and Detroit could have been the best of friends. They come from similar backgrounds, live a stone’s throw from each other, and get by on the same brand of underdog perseverance. As downtrodden towns with some occasionally downtrodden sports teams, they have taken their turns serving as the punch lines of elitist jokes, always bouncing back from every hit with a blood-soaked smile. Through it all, you’d just assume that the Motor City and the Forest City would understand—maybe even admire—one another. But we know, of course, that this is not quite the case. And sports probably has as much to do with it as anything.

Though the rivalries between Cleveland and Detroit franchises have generally paled in comparison to the one between those Big Ten schools down the road, there have certainly been occasions when the Indians-Tigers, Browns-Lions, and Cavs-Pistons feuds have reached epic proportions. Sometimes, it’s resulted in unforgettable championship game matchups. In other instances, it’s just led to straight up fisticuffs. Historically speaking, the numbers suggest it’s Detroit that usually gets the better of these battles: the Tigers hold a 1064-1033 all-time edge over the Indians; the Lions are an eye-popping 17-5 versus the Browns; and the Pistons have owned the Cavaliers by a 112-78 count. Still, when it’s come to some of the marquee moments from a century’s worth of pro sports confrontations between these Rust Belt metropolises, it looks like a pretty balanced scorecard. To judge for yourself, here’s one reasonably even-handed Ohioan’s take on 12 of the Greatest Showdowns in Cleveland vs. Detroit Sports History.

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Adam Burke

Rick NashAfter being the face of the Columbus Blue Jackets since he was drafted in 2003, Rick Nash will call New York City his home for the foreseeable future. The 28-year-old Nash was traded on Monday to the Rangers, along with a conditional third-round pick and minor league defenseman Steven Delisle, in exchange for Brandon Dubinsky, Artem Anisimov, Tim Erixon, and a first-round draft selection in 2013. A Nash deal had been imminent for quite some time, and the Rangers were the team most associated with the Nash rumors. The trade finally came to fruition around 2 p.m. on Monday afternoon.

The Columbus Blue Jackets made the playoffs just once, their only postseason appearance in franchise history, with Nash on the team back in 2009. They were swept in four games by the Detroit Red Wings, but the Jackets looked like a team on the rise. As a result, the Jackets signed Nash to an eight-year, $62.4M contract that following offseason to be the anchor of the franchise through the 2018-19 season. As the Blue Jackets continued to struggle and failed at repeated efforts to surround Nash with the proper talent, General Manager Scott Howson began to feel the pressure. Nash was the organization's chief trade asset and could net the team a minimum of three-to-five helpful players or draft picks and something that the organization could start to develop around.

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Lars Hancock

NWOI have seen the future, and I am afraid.

Last week we took a trip to the “happiest place on earth” – Disneyland. My kids are all little, and all have been sufficiently brainwashed by the Walt Disney Company, so this was less a family vacation and more of a pilgrimage to the Mecca of the Mouse so we could pay our respects. And “pay” is the operative word.

You know those people that love Disney everything? Adults that wear Disney logo t-shirts and drink out of Disney-logo mugs and crap on a toilet with mouse ears on it? I am not one of those people. I hate those people. When I see Disney, I see a ruthless and efficient marketing machine that programs children to adore them like Christian Scientists do at their reeducation camps, and then demands as much of your money as they can extract, like Christian Scientists. Hearts, minds, and wallets all pay homage to the mouse.

Unfortunately due to numerous parental failings on my part, my children have fallen prey to their ruthless clasps, and therefore we had to visit Disneyland on vacation. The shakedown starts right away when I’m forced to pay $15 to park my car. Mind you, there is nowhere else I can go but into the park after I park my car, but nonetheless, here’s an extra $15 they can charge me, and they do. My car is then directed through a huge labyrinth of a garage to a precise spot with chilling efficiency. And it hits me – Disney has mastered mind control, and they also have mastered crowd control. This thought takes root in my head.

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